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Series: Casey, Crime Photographer
Show: After Turkey -- The Bill
Date: Nov 27 1947

CAST:

ANNOUNCER, Tony Marvin
HARRY MARBLE, commercial spokesman (1 line)


CASEY, crime photographer
ETHELBERT, bartender at the Blue Note Café
JOE BOWERS, ex-con with a chip on his shoulder
LOTTIE, Joe's loving girlfriend
GUS, exuberant Greek waiter
ANN WILLIAMS, reporter
WALTER (2 lines)
JONES, overeager gas station attendant
SERGEANT, middle-aged police detective
NEWCOMBE, Lottie's kindly, gentle father
FERD, Joe's cousin

ANNOUNCER:

The Anchor Hocking Glass Corporation brings you CRIME PHOTOGRAPHER!

MUSIC:

ORCHESTRA FANFARE ... THEN A PIANO GLISS AS MUSIC CHANGES TO THE SWEET JAZZ OF THE BLUE NOTE CAFE'S SOLO PIANO ... CONTINUES IN BG

ETHELBERT:

Say, Casey, do you think they'll ever put my statue in the Hall of Fame?

CASEY:

What are you famous for, Ethelbert?

ETHELBERT:

For twenty-seven straight years I always got the same part of the turkey.

CASEY:

(CHUCKLES)

ETHELBERT:

That's some kind of a record, ain't it?

CASEY:

Well, because you consistently get it in the neck, that might make you notorious, but not really famous.

ANNOUNCER:

No, no, Ethelbert. You know, you have to do something really big -- you know, something important -- to deserve a famous name.

ETHELBERT:

Like what?

ANNOUNCER:

Well, like Anchor Hocking, the most famous name - in glass!

MUSIC:

ORCHESTRA ... BIG TAG!

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Tony Marvin. Every week at this time the Anchor Hocking Glass Corporation of Lancaster, Ohio, and its more than ten thousand employees, bring you another adventure of CASEY, CRIME PHOTOGRAPHER, ace cameraman who covers the crime news of a great city. Written by Alonzo Deen Cole, our adventure for tonight--

MUSIC:

EXPECTANT STING

ANNOUNCER:

"After Turkey -- the Bill."

MUSIC:

TRANSITION ... THEN BEHIND ANNOUNCER--

ANNOUNCER:

Seven o'clock in the evening; a medium-priced uptown restaurant known as Petrakis's Olympian. At a table for two, a flashily dressed young man pushes aside his empty plate and says to the pretty girl who sits opposite--

SOUND:

PLATE PUSHED ASIDE

JOE:

Hey, that turkey wasn't half bad.

LOTTIE:

(CHUCKLES) You didn't leave much of it.

JOE:

Neither did you. Shall I order dessert now?

LOTTIE:

(YES) Uh-huh.

JOE:

(CALLS) Hey, waiter! Gus?!

GUS:

(ARRIVES) Okay, kid. What do you want now, Joe?

JOE:

We're ready for the plum puddin' now.

GUS:

Two plums pudding!

JOE:

Mmm, that's what you want, too, isn't it, Lottie?

LOTTIE:

Yes, and coffee.

JOE:

Same here.

GUS:

(DEPARTS) Okay, kid.

JOE:

I don't know why you won't let me do anything for you in a classy way, Lottie. I ask you out for a Thanksgivin' spread and you made me bring you to a cheap place like this.

LOTTIE:

Joe, you can't afford to throw your money away.

JOE:

How do you know what I can afford? I may not have as good a job as my cousin Ferd yet, but that doesn't mean I--

LOTTIE:

(INTERRUPTS) What's Ferd got to do with it?

JOE:

(BITTER) He's got plenty to do with it. If he didn't have to work today, you'd be out with him now instead of me, I know.

LOTTIE:

Ferd isn't working tonight, Joe. He came home before we left there. I could have had dinner with him if I'd wanted.

JOE:

(SKEPTICAL) Yeah.

LOTTIE:

Aw, don't be like that, please.

JOE:

Why shouldn't I be? While I was in-- (CORRECTS HIMSELF) While I was away, you and him became awful good friends.

LOTTIE:

We were always friends, the three of us. We grew up on the same block!

JOE:

Yeah, but while I was away, he moved into your old man's roomin' house so he could be closer friends.

LOTTIE:

Oh, don't start that again tonight. We're out for a pleasant evening, and it has been pleasant so far. Please, Joe.

JOE:

All right. Here comes our dessert.

GUS:

(ARRIVES) Two plums pudding!

SOUND:

DISHES AND CUPS SET DOWN

GUS:

And coffee.

JOE:

(INTENSE) You know, when you go out with me, Lottie, you're gonna get class whether you think I can afford it or not. I'm gonna take you to Danceland. I'm gonna buy ya a whole roll of tickets. Best you'd get out of that tightwad Ferd is a soda and a movie. (WEARY) All right, it's all out, Gus. Bring me a check, will ya?

GUS:

(DEPARTS) You said it, Joe!

LOTTIE:

All right, Joe, since you won't drop the subject, we'll talk about Ferd.

JOE:

Swell.

LOTTIE:

He wants me to marry him.

JOE:

Figured that, from that dirty double-crosser.

LOTTIE:

He isn't a double-crosser.

JOE:

He knows I've been goin' with you since we were kids; that I've always been crazy about ya. And while I was takin' that bum rap in the reformatory--

LOTTIE:

(INTERRUPTS) You didn't take a bum rap, Joe! You asked for what you got!

JOE:

All right, so the cops had the goods on me. That gave Ferd no right to--

LOTTIE:

(INTERRUPTS, SHARPLY) It gave me a right--! (QUIETLY) --to do a lot of thinking.

JOE:

Mm hm. And so you decided a sneaky yella drip like my cousin is a better bet than me, huh?

LOTTIE:

I don't think Ferd is sneaky or yellow.

JOE:

Oh, you don't, huh?

LOTTIE:

No. And I don't think you're a criminal.

JOE:

(DRY) It's nice of you to say that.

LOTTIE:

I'm not being nice; I'm saying what I believe! (WITH PASSION) If you make me sure you've learned your lesson, I--

JOE:

(BEAT) Yeah?

LOTTIE:

(QUIETLY) You won't have to worry about me liking Ferd or - or anyone. There's never really been anybody but you, Joe, only - only I've got to be sure.

JOE:

(THE SAME) How do I make you sure, Lottie?

LOTTIE:

Just show me and dad that you're steady, that's all.

JOE:

Ain't I been showin' you that since I came back? Didn't I get a job right away?

LOTTIE:

Yes, Joe, but-- But I don't see how you can afford those two new suits and that overcoat with what you're making.

JOE:

(UPSET) Oh. Oh, I get it. Ferd can buy clothes or take you out and it's okay, isn't it? He's never had trouble with the cops. But the minute I spend an extra buck, you and your old man figure I've glommed it somewhere!

LOTTIE:

Oh, no--

JOE:

Oh, yes! Your old man especially -- hates my insides! He don't want you to have anything to do with me!

LOTTIE:

If dad hated you, he wouldn't let you stay at our rooming house!

JOE:

He rents rooms and I pay for the one I rent; that's business. And to ease your mind about the extra dough I spent, Lottie, I'm a lucky guy with dice, and a good pool player.

LOTTIE:

I--

GUS:

(ARRIVES) Here's your check, kid.

JOE:

Thanks, Gus. (REACHING FOR WALLET) I'll pay ya so we can get out of here. We're going to Danceland and we're-- (SURPRISED) What?

LOTTIE:

(PUZZLED) Joe?

JOE:

(ALARMED) I haven't got my wallet!

LOTTIE:

Have you lost your money?

JOE:

I don't know. Maybe I left it home.

LOTTIE:

Well, phone dad. He'll look in your room.

JOE:

Well, if he found it, I'd have to go there for it. It's only a few blocks. You stay here, Lottie, while I go and see--

GUS:

Ohhhh, you - you don't have to leave the lady here, kid. You're an old customer. I know you come back and pay.

JOE:

Well, thanks, Gus, but I can make better time alone. Hand me my overcoat, will ya, from that rack? It's the blue one there.

GUS:

Oh, sure, sure. (IMPRESSED) Hmmm! Oh! This a fancy coat. Haha! Nice and bright! With red stripes! You've got class, kid.

JOE:

Yeah, but right now I got no dough. I'll come back as soon as I can, Lottie.

LOTTIE:

I hope you find your money, Joe.

JOE:

Yeah, I hope so, too -- and how!

MUSIC:

ORCHESTRA TRANSITION ... CHANGES TO BLUE NOTE SOLO PIANO, IN BG

ETHELBERT:

Gee, Casey, it's nice of you and Miss Williams to have Thanksgivin' dinner here in the Blue Note with me.

ANN:

(LIGHTLY) We're nice people, Ethelbert.

CASEY:

(THE SAME) Yup. The very best: true, warmhearted, and generous to a fault. Pass the salt.

ANN:

Also, honest, kind, and steadfast. Here's the salt. And the pepper.

CASEY:

Thenk yew! You know, we're really understating our sterling qualities, Ann. We've risen to the heights of magnanimity -- whatever that is -- by chewing Thanksgiving turkey in this crummy joint we see every day simply because our little pal here had to work, and can only get away from his bartending long enough to grab a meal "on the house." We hope you appreciate our sacrifice, Ethelbert.

ETHELBERT:

Oh, I do.

CASEY:

Good. (STRAINS) Pardon my reach for the Tabasco. (EXHALES) To prove your gratitude, Ethelbert, you can pay for our dinners.

ETHELBERT:

Yeah, well--

CASEY:

Tabasco, Annie?

ETHELBERT:

(DOUBLE TAKE) Huh?

ANN:

Thanks. Hey, you've made a splendid suggestion, Casey. Paying our bill will relieve Ethelbert of a small part of his obligation for our company.

ETHELBERT:

Say, come to think of it -- you two are workin' today yourselves. You didn't have time to get a full meal any further away from your office than this "crummy joint."

ANN:

(MOCK OUTRAGE) Ethelbert! You impugn our motives! (MATTER-OF-FACT, TO CASEY) He destroys my faith in human nature, Casey.

CASEY:

Ah, yes, the spirit of the day is entirely lost upon this lug.

ETHELBERT:

Casey, if you'd pay me what you already owe this "crummy joint," I'd be only too happy to buy your dinner.

SOUND:

PHONE RINGS, OFF

ETHELBERT:

(CALLS) Get it, Walter!

CASEY:

This guy's too wise for us, Annie.

ANN:

(CHUCKLES) I'm afraid so, Casey.

WALTER:

(CALLS, FROM OFF) Casey?

CASEY:

Uh, yeah, Walter?

WALTER:

(OFF) You're wanted on the bar phone. Your city desk.

CASEY:

Oh, nuts. I'm only just finished my turkey.

ANN:

(DISAPPOINTED) Oh, this means no dessert, Casey.

CASEY:

I'll see what Burke wants.

ANN:

(CALLS AFTER HIM) Well, stall him off if you can.

CASEY:

Yeah, I'll do my best, Annie. (PAUSE AS CASEY WALKS TO BAR, GREETS A PATRON) Hello, Grace. (CHUCKLES, THEN INTO PHONE) Hello, Casey speaking. -- Uh, look, Burke, we haven't finished our dinner yet. -- Oh, all right, all right. Wait'll I get my pencil. -- Corner of Whitestone and Evans. Well, what happened there? -- What? Is that all?! For a run-of-the-mill story like that we've gotta leave our dessert and--?! -- Well, okay, Burke. All right, goodbye.

SOUND:

RECEIVER DOWN HARD

CASEY:

(DISGUSTED, TO HIMSELF) Why I stick to this newspaper racket I don't know. Of all the crazy--

ANN:

What was it, Casey?

CASEY:

Look, we got to get out to Whitestone and Evans, Ann. Some mug just held up a filling station there and got away with a couple o' hundred bucks.

ANN:

(MOANS UNHAPPILY)

ETHELBERT:

Did he shoot anyone?

CASEY:

No, no. Just one of those inside page fillers. Burke says news is light and we got to cover it.

ANN:

(EXHALES) All right. Where is Whitestone and Evans?

CASEY:

Way up town, not far from Petrakis's Olympian restaurant. You know -- we've eaten there couple of times.

ANN:

Yeah, I remember. Any description of the holdup guy?

CASEY:

Yeah. He wore a flashy blue overcoat with red stripes. (TO ETHELBERT) See you later, pal.

ANN:

So long, Ethelbert.

ETHELBERT:

So long. Say, wait! Who's gonna pay for this--?! (BUT THEY'RE GONE, THEN TO HIMSELF, SADLY) Crummy joint.

MUSIC:

VERY BRIEF CURTAIN

ANNOUNCER:

Our story will continue in just a moment. In mansion or cottage, in city or town, Thanksgiving Day is a time for family reunions, feasting, and fun. But through all the gaiety there runs a deep note of real thanksgiving for blessings past and present. There's a tacit recognition that a better-fed nation is a stronger, happier nation. And one of the ways in which the American Way has made its greatest progress is in the production, preparation, and distribution of food. Now, take the matter of delivering food alone. The great organizations who process and ship us our better foods know that flavor, purity, and freshness are best preserved by clean, sanitary glass. And that's why, as you look around the shelves of your food stores, you see that so many famous brands are brought to you in gleaming protective containers made of glass; containers that preserve and safeguard flavor and taste while they permit you to see in advance exactly what you're buying. It's noteworthy that many of the leading brands of food of all kinds come to you in Anchor glass containers, sealed with tamper-proof Anchor caps -- products of Anchor Hocking--!

MUSIC:

ACCENT

ANNOUNCER:

--the most famous name in glass!

MUSIC:

TRANSITION

JONES:

(EAGERLY) Here's what happened, Miss Williams. I'm workin' the station, see? I'm here in the office when this holdup guy opens the door an' says, "Gimme your dough."

ANN:

(DRY) He had a gun, of course.

JONES:

Oh, sure, he had a gun. The time was about a quarter past seven--

CASEY:

(INTERRUPTS) What did you notice about the guy aside from his flashy overcoat?

JONES:

Well, uh, he wore his hat pulled down over his eyes and a handkerchief was tied around the lower part of his face. Also, he woiked fast.

ANN:

(MOCK EAGER) What'd he do?

JONES:

Well, he told me to get into the gents'-- Er, the restroom there, and to keep quiet. He locked the door on me and I heard him open up the money drawer in there, and then I heard him leave the joint. I started poundin' on the door an' after a while I managed to bust out. That was about, er, quarter to eight. And then I phoned the cops.

CASEY:

Ya mind if I shoot a picture of that busted door, sergeant?

SERGEANT:

Go ahead, Casey.

CASEY:

Thanks.

JONES:

(QUICKLY) You'll want a picture of me, too, won't ya, Mr. Casey?

CASEY:

(UNINTERESTED) Huh? You? Oh, sure, yeah. The door and you. I'll shoot the door first.

JONES:

(EXHALES WITH SATISFACTION) Yeah, it's gonna give me old lady a big kick to see me written up in the papers. Heh!

CASEY:

Hey, er-- Was this big puddle of grease in front of this door, Jones, when the holdup guy locked you in?

JONES:

Oh, yeah, yeah. I spilled it there earlier and I hadn't had time to clean it up.

SERGEANT:

Then the mug must have stepped in it, Casey. Along with the description of his flashy coat I've sent out, I included instructions to look for a guy with dirty grease stains on his shoes.

CASEY:

Well, the two things together ought to nail him, sergeant.

JONES:

Yeah, I told the Sarge here somethin' else that ought to nail the guy.

CASEY:

Well, what's that?

JONES:

Well, one of the bills he stole out of the money drawer was an old twenty that had been torn in two and kind of stuck together with Scotch tape. I took it in just before the robbery, so I remember it.

CASEY:

Looks like you cops have plenty to work on, Sarge.

SERGEANT:

Yeah.

CASEY:

Well, we got all there is, Annie. Let's blow out of here and get back to the Blue Note and get some plum pudding and coffee.

ANN:

Haha! Come on!

JONES:

Hey-hey-hey, ain't you gonna take my picture first?!

CASEY:

Huh? Oh. Yeah, yeah.

JONES:

I'll, uh-- I'll kind of stand here by the empty cash drawer, huh? And point my finger at it!

CASEY:

(IRONIC) Yeah, that'll be original. (RESIGNED) Well, stand and point, pal; go ahead.

ANN:

(DRY) Great.

JONES:

All set now! Shoot!

SOUND:

STATION DOOR OPENS ... GUS' STEPS IN

GUS:

Jones!

JONES:

Hey-hey, Gus, I'm gettin' my picture took! Don't walk in front of the camera!

GUS:

I have just hear what happened to you! About that guy in the blue overcoat which hold you up!

JONES:

Well, I'll tell you all about that later, Gus; soon as get my picture took.

GUS:

No, no! I tell you and those cops about it now!

CASEY:

You'll tell? Who are you?

GUS:

Oh, I - I am Gus Nicopopolous. I am waiter in Petrakis's Olympian restaurant three blocks from here. And I know who is the kid who robbed my good friend Jones!

CASEY:

You know?

GUS:

Yeah, I know soon as I am told the news about that fancy overcoat.

SERGEANT:

What are you talking about?

CASEY:

Yeah, what are you talkin' about?

GUS:

I tell you cops everything. Even where to find this holdup kid! He tell me he is going with his girl to Danceland!

MUSIC:

TRANSITION ... THEN FADE IN LIVELY DANCE BAND, WHICH CONTINUES IN BG

JOE:

Ya got no right to pull me off that dance floor, copper!

LOTTIE:

Don't believe this waiter, sergeant! Joe hasn't held up anybody.

SERGEANT:

We're going to see about that. Close the door, will you, Casey?

CASEY:

Okay, Sarge.

SOUND:

DOOR CLOSES, MUFFLING THE DANCE BAND, WHICH EVENTUALLY FADES OUT

SERGEANT:

Now -- this overcoat we got from the checkroom. It's yours, isn't, Bowers?

JOE:

Yeah, it's my coat.

SERGEANT:

And you, Jones, say the guy who stuck you up wore a coat just like it?

JONES:

It's the same coat, sergeant.

JOE:

You're nuts. The store I bought this blanket at had a couple of dozen just like it.

SERGEANT:

Now, take it easy, kid. If your story's okay, we'll check on everyone who owns a coat like this. I'm going to search you. While I'm at it, you can tell us what you did after leaving Petrakis's restaurant. After you couldn't find your wallet, I mean.

JOE:

I went straight to my roomin' house to look for my dough. Finally I found it in a dresser drawer. Then I came straight back to Petrakis's for Lottie -- that's Miss Newcombe here.

SERGEANT:

Yeah.

JOE:

The dough is in that wallet you just took out of my pocket. It's about forty bucks and it's mine; I didn't steal it.

JONES:

Hey, is that torn twenty in the wallet, sergeant?

SERGEANT:

No, Jones.

JOE:

Torn twenty?

CASEY:

I guess he hasn't got a gun on him either, Sarge.

SERGEANT:

He's clean, Casey.

CASEY:

Yeah, so are his shoes. Grease would show up plain on those light tans.

SERGEANT:

Well, he may have changed shoes and hidden a few things.

CASEY:

Well, yeah. (TO JOE) How far is your rooming house from that filling station, kid?

JOE:

Why, it's--

LOTTIE:

It's two blocks away, down Evans Street. My father runs it.

SERGEANT:

How long did Joe leave you in Petrakis's while he was "finding" his money?

LOTTIE:

(UNCERTAIN) I - I didn't time it.

JOE:

(SHARPLY) It wasn't more than fifteen minutes, maybe a half an hour, so what?

SERGEANT:

So you had plenty of time to stick up Jones _and_s go to your room before you came back to Petrakis's.

JOE:

(DEFIANT) All right, if that's the way you dope it, copper, search my room.

SERGEANT:

I'm gonna do that little thing, young fella. All of you, let's go.

MUSIC:

TRANSITION

NEWCOMBE:

Lottie, why have you and Joe come home with all these people -- and these policemen?

LOTTIE:

(WORRIED, NERVOUS) Everything's all right, dad. They've made a mistake about Joe, but it's going to be all right.

NEWCOMBE:

A mistake about Joe?

JOE:

(GRIM) A big mistake, Mr. Newcombe.

NEWCOMBE:

I don't understand.

SERGEANT:

I'm Sergeant Healy, Fifth Detective District. There was a stickup a few blocks from here tonight and Joe Bowers here is under suspicion.

NEWCOMBE:

A stickup? Joe?

LOTTIE:

He didn't do it, dad; I know he didn't.

NEWCOMBE:

(PUZZLED) You were with him, Lottie. You must know.

SERGEANT:

Your daughter wasn't with him for a long half hour. Mr. Newcombe, I haven't taken time to get a search warrant, so I'd like your permission to go over Joe's room.

JOE:

Give him the go-ahead; I have. He'll find nothin' to tie me up with any heist job.

SERGEANT:

All right with you, sir?

NEWCOMBE:

Oh, yes, of course.

SERGEANT:

Thanks. Take me to your room, Bowers.

JOE:

Come on.

SERGEANT:

Everybody else stay here with this uniformed officer.

CASEY:

Miss Williams and I'd like to go with you and Joe, Sarge.

SERGEANT:

Okay, Casey.

ANN:

Thanks, Sergeant.

JOE:

My room's on the next floor. It's right up those stairs.

SOUND:

STEPS ON STAIRS, IN BG

SERGEANT:

Lead the way, kid. And don't try anything tricky.

JOE:

Why should I try anything? All you got on me is that a stickup guy wore an overcoat like mine. And that's all you're gonna get. (BEAT) There's the door to my room, copper. Open it, make yourself at home.

SOUND:

STEPS OUT WITH--

SERGEANT:

Give me your key.

JOE:

The door isn't locked. I never bother.

SOUND:

ROOM DOOR OPENS ... THEIR STEPS IN

SERGEANT:

Hmm.

JOE:

I'll turn on the lights.

SOUND:

CLICK! OF SWITCH

JOE:

Now do your stuff.

SERGEANT:

I will.

SOUND:

SERGEANT SEARCHES ROOM ... OPENS DRAWERS, ET CETERA ... CONTINUES IN BG

JOE:

You won't find anything locked up here -- 'cause I got nothin' worth stealin'. And nothin' to hide. Now if you were going to work on my cousin's room across the hall, you'd need a fistful of keys. He's one of those careful, secretive guys, you know.

CASEY:

You got a cousin living across the hall?

JOE:

Yeah, his name's Ferd -- for Ferdinand -- and is he a crumb.

CASEY:

I take it you don't like him.

JOE:

I like him about as much as he likes me; maybe more -- 'cause he's been makin' a play for my girl; he isn't gettin' anywhere.

SOUND:

SERGEANT STOPS SEARCHING

JOE:

(SNEERINGLY, TO SERGEANT) How you doin', copper? You see anything of the dough I'm supposed to have stolen or the gat you think I used in that stickup?

SERGEANT:

Not yet, kid.

SOUND:

SERGEANT LIFTS CARPET BEHIND--

JOE:

And you won't; I'm a hundred percent in the clear.

SERGEANT:

Oh, yeah? How did this get under your carpet?

JOE:

(STARTLED) What?

ANN:

(SURPRISED) Casey!

CASEY:

A torn twenty-dollar bill.

SERGEANT:

Stuck together with Scotch tape.

JOE:

I never saw that bill before!

SERGEANT:

And I think Jones will identify it as the one taken from his cash drawer.

CASEY:

Wait a minute, there's more dough under this rug, Sarge -- couple of hundred bucks at least.

SERGEANT:

(CALMLY) I spotted it, Casey.

JOE:

I don't know how it got there! I didn't pull that stickup!

SERGEANT:

Cut the comedy, Joe. This money nails you.

JOE:

This is a frame-up, I tell ya! It's a frame-up!

SERGEANT:

Where'd you hide your gun?

JOE:

I never had a gun, I swear it!

SERGEANT:

Come clean, kid! Where's the gun?!

JOE:

Wait a minute, will ya give me a break? Let me think. Let me think a minute. (BEAT, REALIZES) Yeah. Yeah, there's just one mug who'd pull a thing like this. And if you're right guys, you won't let him get away with it. Question Ferd, sergeant. Question my cousin Ferd. His room's right across the hall.

CASEY:

(QUIETLY) Might be a good idea, sergeant.

SERGEANT:

(RESIGNED) Okay. Let's go over.

SOUND:

STEPS TO ROOM DOOR, WHICH OPENS ... STEPS INTO HALL, ROOM DOOR CLOSES ... STEPS TO FERD'S DOOR

JOE:

There's the room.

SOUND:

STEPS OUT ... KNOCKING ON DOOR

FERD:

(BEHIND DOOR) Yes?

SERGEANT:

I, um-- I'd like to talk to you a minute. This is the police.

FERD:

(BEHIND DOOR) Just a second.

SOUND:

FERD'S DOOR OPENS

FERD:

I was just starting to get ready for bed.

SOUND:

THEIR STEPS INTO FERD'S ROOM, IN BG

SERGEANT:

I'm Detective-Sergeant Healy, young man. This is Miss Williams and Mr. Casey.

CASEY:

How are ya?

ANN:

Hello, there.

FERD:

What do you want?

SERGEANT:

Let me close this door.

SOUND:

FERD'S DOOR CLOSES

SERGEANT:

Your cousin Joe here has made some accusations against you that it's my duty to investigate.

FERD:

Oh, he has, has he?

SERGEANT:

Do you own an overcoat like Joe's here? Blue with red stripes?

FERD:

(AMUSED) An overcoat like that?

SERGEANT:

Have you ever worn one?

FERD:

I wouldn't wear a zoot blanket like that if you paid me.

JOE:

You say.

FERD:

Yes, I say!

SERGEANT:

Mind if I look around your room?

FERD:

(WARY) Why?

LOTTIE:

Ferd, someone wearing an overcoat like Joe's held up the Whitestone filling station tonight and--

FERD:

(SURPRISED) What?

JOE:

(ACCUSING) You know where I bought this coat, Ferd. I think you got one just like it on the Q.T. I think you slipped my wallet out of my pocket just before I left here with Lottie tonight, so I'd have to leave her and look for it. You were watchin' the restaurant and when I left it, you went to that filling station--

FERD:

Why, you're crazy! Sergeant, you can't believe that--

SERGEANT:

Maybe I don't. But I want to search your room.

SOUND:

SERGEANT TAKES A FEW STEPS, STOPS WITH--

FERD:

Oh, wait a minute!

SERGEANT:

Huh?

FERD:

Have you got a search warrant?

SERGEANT:

No.

FERD:

Then get out of here!

SERGEANT:

Say--

FERD:

I know my rights! Unlike a certain relative of mine, I've got a clean record.

JOE:

Who are you callin' a lousy rat?

FERD:

You, Joe!

JOE:

Why, I'll knock your teeth out!

SOUND:

BRIEF SCUFFLE ... OUT WITH--

SERGEANT:

Cut it out! Cut it, both of you! (PAUSE) So you don't want me to search your room, hey, young fella?

FERD:

You heard me before, sergeant.

CASEY:

(REASONABLE) Hey, pal, wait a minute. You're takin' the wrong attitude. If you got nothing to hide, this isn't the way to show it.

JOE:

He's got a good reason for saying you can't search -- and I'm gonna prove it!

SOUND:

JOE'S STEPS SCRAMBLE TO CLOSET DOOR, WHICH OPENS BEHIND--

FERD:

Keep out of my closet, Joe!

JOE:

Make me if you can.

SOUND:

FOOTSTEPS AND SCUFFLE IN AGREEMENT WITH--

FERD:

I'll make sure you--

CASEY:

(GRABS FERD) Hold it, Ferd!

FERD:

(STRUGGLES) Let me go!

SERGEANT:

Come out of there, Joe! I'll get a warrant and--

SOUND:

ALL OUT FOR--

JOE:

(TRIUMPHANT) You won't need a warrant, Sarge. Look there.

SOUND:

SERGEANT'S STEPS TO CLOSET

SERGEANT:

What?

JOE:

In the back of his closet -- covered with other clothes.

SOUND:

SERGEANT'S STEPS INTO CLOSET

SERGEANT:

Oh. An overcoat like yours.

JOE:

Just like mine!

SERGEANT:

And in its pocket, there's a gun.

FERD:

I never saw that coat before! I never saw that gun!

SERGEANT:

Well, somebody did! Come on. I'm takin' ya both to headquarters.

MUSIC:

TRANSITION

SOUND:

JOE, FERD, AND SERGEANT'S STEPS TO POLICE CAR, THEN IN BG

FERD:

I don't know how that overcoat got in my closet, sergeant. I swear I never saw it or that gun before.

SERGEANT:

So you've been saying, Ferd. Both of you, get into this car.

SOUND:

POLICE CAR DOORS OPEN

FERD:

You did this to me, Joe.

JOE:

Sure, I got wise to your frame-up, you louse; I threw it right back at you.

SERGEANT:

We'll continue our discussion at the station house.

JOE:

'Course, you'll only hold me long enough to get my testimony; I'll be back home in an hour or so.

SERGEANT:

Maybe.

SOUND:

CAR DOOR SHUTS

SERGEANT:

You and Miss Williams tagging along after us, Casey?

CASEY:

No, Sarge. I may give you a buzz later, though.

ANN:

We still have our Thanksgiving dinner to finish.

SERGEANT:

Say, why don't you two get jobs that won't make you work on holidays?

CASEY:

(CHUCKLES) Why don't you?

ANN:

You mean like Captain Logan?

SERGEANT:

I've been thinking about it -- for the last twenty-five years. Good night.

SOUND:

POLICE CAR STARTS

ANN:

'Night, Sergeant Healy.

CASEY:

So long.

SOUND:

POLICE CAR DRIVES OFF

ANN:

Come on, let's get in our car, Casey, and get our stuff to the paper and--

CASEY:

I'm going back to that rooming house, Annie.

ANN:

Why?

CASEY:

Are you convinced that Cousin Ferd framed Cousin Joe?

ANN:

Well, his attempt to prevent a search of his room didn't look very good.

CASEY:

Annie, I'm just thinkin'.

ANN:

Well, Joe found that overcoat with what might be called surprising ease.

CASEY:

(YES) Mm hm.

ANN:

But it's hard to believe that Joe would invite his own arrest in order to frame his cousin. Why, one little slip--

CASEY:

The framer, whoever he is, did make a slip, Annie. His plan didn't anticipate a grease puddle -- and he had to get rid of a pair of shoes that may walk back and kick him.

ANN:

Well, none of the shoes in Joe's room, or in Ferd's, had any grease stains on them.

CASEY:

No. Sergeant Healy hasn't forgotten those missing shoes and he'll be back pretty soon to really look for 'em. Well, I'm gonna start lookin' right now. I'll ring Newcombe's bell here.

SOUND:

DOORBELL RINGS

ANN:

(EXHALES) Sometimes I wish your snooping instincts were more restrained, Casey. I'd like a cup of coffee now and plum--

SOUND:

ROOMING HOUSE DOOR OPENS

CASEY:

Hi, Mr. Newcombe.

NEWCOMBE:

Mr. Casey?

CASEY:

Yes. May we come in?

NEWCOMBE:

Of course, but I thought--

SOUND:

ANN AND CASEY'S STEPS IN ... DOOR CLOSES BEHIND--

CASEY:

We didn't go with Sergeant Healy and his prisoners. I wanted to ask how's your daughter now. She wasn't taking this thing very well when we left.

NEWCOMBE:

Oh, she feels terrible about it. (A PLEA, TO ANN) Miss Williams, perhaps a woman can talk to her better than I can. Will you try to convince her that - that everything will come out all right?

ANN:

I'll gladly try, Mr. Newcombe.

NEWCOMBE:

She's in our private living room.

CASEY:

Yeah, go on in and talk to her alone, Annie. I'll stay here.

ANN:

All right.

SOUND:

ANN'S STEPS AWAY ... LIVING ROOM DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS, OFF, BEHIND--

NEWCOMBE:

It - it breaks my heart to see my girl cry, Mr. Casey. She's all I have. She blames herself for what has happened. It isn't her fault that two young fools became so infatuated with her. I knew they hated each other, but I never anticipated anything like this.

CASEY:

No. Guess not.

NEWCOMBE:

Of course, you had some reason for coming back here, Mr. Casey--?

CASEY:

Yes, I came back to ask your permission-- (SEES SOMETHING, STOPS SHORT)

NEWCOMBE:

(BEAT) Yes?

CASEY:

(BEAT, SLOWLY) Uh, I want permission to ask a few personal questions -- between ourselves and off the record.

NEWCOMBE:

Very well.

CASEY:

You haven't wanted Joe for a son-in-law, have ya?

NEWCOMBE:

In my place, would you? The boy has served a reformatory sentence that, according to my observation, has failed to steady him or improve his sense of values.

CASEY:

Hmm. Ferd has been Joe's opposite, I imagine.

NEWCOMBE:

He always seemed so.

CASEY:

Lottie strikes me as a pretty sensible girl, Mr. Newcombe. Unless one of those fellows confesses he framed the other -- or it can be definitely proven -- she'll doubt both of 'em too much to marry either one of 'em.

NEWCOMBE:

Yes. I think that's so.

CASEY:

And, as there'll be no confession or definite proof, things should work out exactly - as you planned.

NEWCOMBE:

As I planned?

CASEY:

You're the guy behind this double frame-up.

NEWCOMBE:

Mr. Casey!

CASEY:

You didn't think I'd be back, did you? You shouldn't have changed back into those comfortable old shoes after Sergeant Healy left here. You did a lousy job of cleaning off that grease.

NEWCOMBE:

Oh, but--

CASEY:

You held up that filling station and framed both the boys to keep your daughter from marrying either one of them!

NEWCOMBE:

(BEAT, EVENLY) I was very foolish, wasn't I?

CASEY:

Yes, I think so. Shall I call Sergeant Healy?

NEWCOMBE:

(BEAT) All right. You can call Sergeant Healy, Mr. Casey. I'm - ready to confess.

CASEY:

(REALIZES) Wait a minute. Wait. Let me take a close look at those shoes.

NEWCOMBE:

What?

CASEY:

The pool of grease in that filling station you heard us talk about wasn't deep enough to reach far above the soles of a shoe. (BEAT, REALIZES) Heyyy. You greased those shoes yourself! You spread it on so thick, it covers the toes and heels!

NEWCOMBE:

I didn't spread it on--

CASEY:

Pal, you're a beautiful liar! And I'm a beautiful dope. You greased those shoes and put 'em on, knowing the cops'd come back and spot 'em. You were willing to take the rap, because your kid is in love with one of those punks.

NEWCOMBE:

You can't prove that. Nobody can. And when I confess, that's all that's needed.

CASEY:

You forget -- the police lab'll compare the grease on these shoes with the filling station grease and it won't be the same. And then Sergeant Healy will go right back to work on Joe and Ferd.

NEWCOMBE:

(SURPRISED) The police laboratory can tell?

CASEY:

Yes, definitely, Mr. Newcombe. (THOUGHTFUL, GENTLY) Hm. But if it couldn't, don't you think your confession would be much harder for your daughter to take than the loss of a little rat she thinks she cares for?

NEWCOMBE:

But I - I couldn't bear to see her cry any more. All I could think of to do was -- what I tried. You see, I know the guilty boy, Mr. Casey and -- she's loved Joe ever since they were children.

CASEY:

(STUNNED) You know Joe--?

NEWCOMBE:

I found his grease-stained shoes hidden in the cellar tonight. His taste in shoes is like his taste in overcoats, so I could make no mistake.

CASEY:

Huh. Well, let's get 'em -- and take 'em to the cops. Later, Mr. Newcombe, your daughter's gonna realize that the lowdown she'll get on Joe tonight - is a cause for real thanksgiving.

MUSIC:

BRIEF CURTAIN

ANNOUNCER:

We'll join the crowd at the Blue Note in just a moment.

MARBLE:

This is Harry Marble to remind you how important the new Anchor Glass One-Way No-Deposit bottle is to your enjoyment of ale and beer. It's a custom-made container, made just for you. No one has used it before and no one ever will use it again. When you're through with it, you dispose of it as you would any other food container. There's no deposit, no fuss or bother. And the new Anchor Glass One-Way bottle assures you of sparkling ale and beer without cloudiness and with no foreign flavor or aroma -- beer that's truly brewery-bright. Most of the brewers of New England, and those who ship ale and beer into New England, have adopted this bottle for your protection and added convenience, for the Anchor Glass One-Way bottle not only costs the brewer less than any other type of single-trip container, but it also gives you much more for your money. So here's a good rule: when buying ale and beer, always demand a glass bottle. And for extra convenience, demand your favorite brand in the new Anchor Glass One-Way No-Deposit Bottle, a product of Anchor Hocking, the most famous name - in glass!

MUSIC:

TAG ... CHANGES TO BLUE NOTE SOLO PIANO, IN BG

ETHELBERT:

So the shoes fit Joe and he had to wear 'em, huh, Casey?

CASEY:

(YES) Mmm. They pinched so tight he cracked wide open, Ethelbert. He admitted planting a duplicate of his coat in Ferd's closet; everything!

ETHELBERT:

If his scheme had worked, Lottie would never have spoke to Ferd again and she'd have married Joe.

ANN:

Well, that was Joe's idea, Ethelbert, but it worked out in reverse. Lottie sank into Ferd's manly arms when she heard the lowdown, and she seemed very comfortable.

ETHELBERT:

Gee, what some guys'll do for love. As my sister Edna says, quote, "If love didn't make the world go 'round, there wouldn't be so much dizziness," unquote.

ANN:

Or so much niceness.

CASEY:

(THOUGHTFUL) Yeah. A grand guy, Lottie's old man. Hm. (UP) Hey, Annie? What's the matter with us? We got plum pudding and coffee still coming to us! How 'bout it, Ethelbert, huh?

ANN:

Yeah! It's about time!

ETHELBERT:

(LAUGHS)

CASEY:

Well, what's so funny?

ETHELBERT:

(LAUGHS) There isn't any more! (LAUGHS HEARTILY)

MUSIC:

BRIEF CURTAIN ... CHIMES PUNCTUATE ANNOUNCER AT [X]

ANNOUNCER:

CRIME PHOTOGRAPHER, starring Staats Cotsworth as Casey, is brought to you each Thursday by the Anchor Hocking Glass Corporation, makers of Fire-King Oven Glass, [X] Anchor glass containers, [X] Anchor caps and closures [X] -- all products of Anchor Hocking, the most famous name - in glass!

MUSIC:

TAG

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

MUSIC:

CLOSING THEME ... THEN BEHIND ANNOUNCER--

ANNOUNCER:

CRIME PHOTOGRAPHER is directed by John Dietz, the original music is by Archie Bleyer, and the program features Miss Jan Miner as Ann and John Gibson as Ethelbert. Herman Chittison is the Blue Note pianist.

MUSIC:

ABRUPTLY OUT

ANNOUNCER:

If civilization is to survive, we must reaffirm our religious faith. It's up to each of us. Do your part by supporting and attending your church or synagogue.

MUSIC:

CLOSING THEME ... THEN IN BG, UNTIL END

ANNOUNCER:

This is Tony Marvin saying good night for the Anchor Hocking Glass Corporation of Lancaster, Ohio, with offices in all principal cities of the United States and Canada.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE ... THEN IN BG, UNTIL END

ANNOUNCER:

This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.