Generic Radio Workshop Script Library (GO BACK) (Downloadable Text File)

Series: Wild Bill Hickok
Show: Dark Horse Candidate
Date: Jan 30 1952

CAST:
ANNOUNCER
PANHANDLE JIM, crusty, friendly
BOY
SINGER, deep bass voice


WILD BILL HICKOK / GUY MADISON
JINGLES / ANDY DEVINE
JOHN STERLING, the villain
BERTIE, high-voiced spinster sister
ABBIE, low-voiced spinster sister
FLIP DONOVAN, of Sterling's gang
TOOTHLESS GILFORD, bumbling
BEN NORRIS
EDDIE BLAKE, of Sterling's gang
and various CROWDS

ANNOUNCER:

Kellogg's -- the greatest name in cereals -- presents--!

ANDY:

Wild Bill Hickock!

MUSIC:

ORGAN ... BIG FANFARE ... THEN IN BG

SOUND:

GALLOPING HORSE ... GUNSHOTS!

ANDY:

Hiya, folks! Hold on to your hats and pass those Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops 'cause here comes Guy Madison as Wild Bill and his pal Jingles, which is me -- Andy Devine! We got another rootin', tootin' Wild Bill Hickok adventure story for ya, from that great new cereal with the sweetenin' already on it: Kellogg's (SOUND: GUNSHOT!) Sugar Corn Pops! (SOUND: TWO GUNSHOTS!)

ANNOUNCER:

Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops brings you WILD BILL HICKOK, transcribed in Hollywood, and starring Guy Madison as Wild Bill and Andy Devine as his pal Jingles! In just thirty seconds you'll hear the exciting story: "Dark Horse Candidate."

MUSIC:

UP AND OUT

ANNOUNCER:

Say, boys and girls, if you'd like to get a real good picture of both Guy Madison and one of Andy Devine, too, just listen to this! You'll find swell, big, actual, real-life photographs of both Guy and Andy right on the fronts of the big, new, yellow Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops packages now at your grocer's. Be sure to get yours! Now let's take in today's adventure.

MUSIC:

ORGAN ... LOPING WESTERN THEME ... THEN BEHIND--

ANNOUNCER:

In the rip-roaring, wild western cattle town of Jackpot, Kansas, a lawless political gang rode roughshod over all opposition -- till only a pair of spinster sisters dared to stand against it. Then out of Abilene came United States Marshal Wild Bill Hickock and his deputy Jingles, riding into the middle of an election fight where bullets were thicker than ballots, to cast their votes in hot lead for -- (MUSIC: STING) "The Dark Horse Candidate"!

MUSIC:

UP FOR AN ACCENT AND OUT

SOUND:

CROWD MURMURS ... THEN QUIETS BEHIND--

STERLING:

All right! All right, quiet now! Quiet! That's better. Well, boys, this ain't gonna be the best speech ya ever heard, but it'll be one of the shortest!

SOUND:

CROWD LAUGHS

STERLING:

Here he is, men -- the people's choice -- your mayor and favorite dentist, Toothless Gilford!

SOUND:

CROWD CHEERS ... THEN MURMURS IN BG

ABBIE:

You can keep him, John Sterling!

BERTIE:

He's not our mayor, he's yours!

STERLING:

Well, if it ain't the Wheatley sisters! Better skee-daddle back to your knittin', ladies! Women got no business messin' in politics!

SOUND:

CROWD LAUGHS AND AGREES ... THEN MURMURS IN BG

BERTIE:

You don't scare us, you young whippersnapper!

ABBIE:

No, indeedy -- not you or that bumblin' old humbug you call a mayor.

STERLING:

The mayor suits me, ladies. And I reckon he suits the town of Jackpot, too. Right, men?!

SOUND:

CROWD AGREES ("Right, John!" et cetera) ... THEN MURMURS IN BG

STERLING:

Ya notice there ain't nobody runnin' against him.

BERTIE:

No, but there was somebody.

STERLING:

Oh, yeah. You mean Ben Norris, reform candidate. (SARCASTIC) Say, what ever happened to him?

ABBIE:

Suppose you tell us.

STERLING:

Well, the last I heard of him, ma'am, he was runnin' for mayor. I reckon he's still runnin'! (LAUGHS)

SOUND:

CROWD LAUGHS ... THEN MURMURS IN BG

BERTIE:

Well, you'll wish you'd started runnin', too, John Sterling, when Wild Bill Hickok gets here.

STERLING:

(WORRIED) Hickok? In my town? What are you talkin' about?

ABBIE:

Well, Mr. Smarty, when Ben Norris disappeared, we wrote a letter to Abilene. Didn't we, Bertie?

BERTIE:

Yes, indeed, Abbie.

STERLING:

Donovan, you take Eddie and Loco and hit the trail toward Abilene.

DONOVAN:

Right.

SOUND:

DONOVAN'S STEPS AWAY

STERLING:

We don't want no federal marshal pokin' his nose into Jackpot.

HICKOK:

Too late, mister! I'm already here!

STERLING:

(STUNNED) How--? How did he--?

SOUND:

CROWD REACTS WITH SURPRISE ... THEN MURMURS IN BG

JINGLES:

That's right, folks, and so am I!

ABBIE:

Oh, my stars and garters! He come, Bertie!

BERTIE:

He's here, Abbie! Saints be praised!

SOUND:

CROWD QUIETS BEHIND--

STERLING:

Yeah, he's here, but you came to the wrong place, Hickok. Jackpot's got all the law it needs. Or wants.

HICKOK:

Seems to be a difference of opinion about that, mister.

STERLING:

You mean the Wheatley sisters? Why, they're plumb loco. Everybody knows that!

HICKOK:

They made a lot of sense to me just now.

STERLING:

Don't be a fool, Hickok. I got the whole town behind me. You don't stand a chance. Does he, men? (NO ANSWER) Well, speak up! The whole crowd of ya gone yella?! Ya aren't afraid of one man?!

JINGLES:

Two men.

STERLING:

Well, I'm not afraid of 'em. We'll have our showdown right now, Hickok. Either I'm runnin' this town or I ain't!

SOUND:

GUNSHOT! ... CROWD REACTS WITH CONSTERNATION ... THEN IN BG

JINGLES:

(PLEASED) Well, sir! It looks like you ain't!

ABBIE:

Land o' livin', Bertie -- did you see what I saw?

BERTIE:

Did you see it, too, Abbie? Shot the gun right out of John's hand!

HICKOK:

Don't ever do that again, mister. It's hard not to hit ya at this range.

SOUND:

CROWD QUIETS

STERLING:

All right, Hickok, you win. We don't have to settle this with guns. We can do it with votes and a fair election.

HICKOK:

A fair election usually has more than one candidate. I want to know what happened to Ben Norris.

STERLING:

(UNCONVINCING) Er, he, uh-- He was called out of town unexpectedly. He won't be back until after the election.

HICKOK:

No? Then until he does come back, I think the town of Jackpot needs another candidate for mayor.

JINGLES:

Yeah, Bill, that's a good idea. (TO ALL) All right, men. Nominations are now in order! (NO RESPONSE) Why, doggone it, men, it's your duty as American citizens to stand up for your rights!

ABBIE:

Bertie, listen--

BERTIE:

I am listenin', Abbie. (TO JINGLES) Say, young man, what did you say your name was?

JINGLES:

Huh? Oh. It's Jingles, ma'am. But I--

BERTIE:

Mr. Hickok! I nominate Mr. Jingles for mayor!

JINGLES:

Uh, uh-- Who, me? Oh, no, ma'am, I - I don't want to be mayor!

HICKOK:

Hold on, Jingles. We do need a candidate on the ballot until we find Ben Norris.

JINGLES:

Yeah, but-- Aw, Bill--

HICKOK:

Jingles has been nominated for mayor of Jackpot. Do I hear a second?

ABBIE:

I second the motion!

SOUND:

CROWD REACTS ... MURMURS IN BG

STERLING:

You'll never get away with this, Hickok.

HICKOK:

All in favor, say, "Aye!"

BERTIE & ABBIE:

Aye!

HICKOK:

Any objections?

JINGLES:

Look out, Bill!

SOUND:

GUNSHOT! ... CROWD REACTS WITH CONSTERNATION ... THEN OUT BEHIND--

JINGLES:

(PLEASED) Well, one objection overruled!

HICKOK:

The motion is carried. Jingles has been nominated for mayor!

MUSIC:

FIRST ACT CURTAIN

PANHANDLE JIM:

Howdy, partners! This is your old pal Panhandle Jim again -- and listen, if you ever want to find me around my ranch in the morning, here's how to go about it. Just look for that new, big, yella box of Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops. Then right next to it, you see a big bowl. And behind that bowl, there you locate old Jim every morning. Yes-sir-ee, by jingo, there's nothin' better come sun-up than a bowl of Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops with milk. And remember, you don't have to go puttin' any sugar on Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops, either. They're allll-ready sweetened for ya. Tasty, puffed-up hearts of corn, all ready to go. Yes, sir -- out of the bowl or out of the box like candy, Kellogg's new Sugar Corn Pops is downright dee-licious eatin' every time. Take
it from me. Now just listen to our little song all about it.

BOY:

Yippee! Sugar Pops!

MUSIC:

ORGAN ACCOMPANIES JINGLE--

SINGER:

They're sugar-coated, taste so sweet.
Just pour on some milk.

BOY:

And, boy, they're neat!

SINGER:

Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops!

SOUND:

TWO GUNSHOTS!

SINGER:

Sugar Pops are tops!
Now Sugar Pops you know are sweet.

BOY:

But cowboys know there's an extra treat!

SINGER:

Right out of the box, take a handful out,
Pop 'em into your mouth as you run about!
Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops!

SOUND:

TWO GUNSHOTS!

SINGER:

Sugar Pops are tops!

MUSIC:

LOPING WESTERN THEME ... THEN BEHIND--

ANNOUNCER:

Wild Bill and Jingles -- arriving in Jackpot to investigate the disappearance of Ben Norris, the reform candidate for mayor -- tangle with John Sterling, ruthless leader of the opposition party and political boss of the town. Since nobody dares to run against Sterling's choice, Toothless Gilford, Jingles is nominated as the dark horse candidate for mayor of Jackpot!

ABBIE:

There now, Jingles -- you look like a real mayor, sure enough.

JINGLES:

Well, I feel like a doggone stuffed owl in this here plug hat and swaller-tailed coat, Miss Abbie.

BERTIE:

Oh, fiddle-dee-dee. You look mighty handsome, Jingles. Here, let me brush you off again.

SOUND:

BRUSHING ... CONTINUES BEHIND--

JINGLES:

Oh, Miss Bertie, ya already got me all brushed off and slickered up like a prize hog at the county fair.

BERTIE:

(CHUCKLES)

ABBIE:

That's enough, Bertie. Now, Jingles, you remember what you're gonna say?

JINGLES:

Well, I guess so, but-- Doggone it, I sure hate to go out there and put my big foot in my mouth without Bill bein' here to help me pull it out.

BERTIE:

Now, you stop frettin' about, Bill. He's out lookin' for Ben Norris right now.

JINGLES:

Well, I sure hope he finds him 'fore everybody goes loco and elects me mayor.

ABBIE:

Oh, stuff and nonsense. You'd make a real good mayor, Jingles. Now come along.

BERTIE:

And don't forget your speech!

JINGLES:

Oh, all right. Oh-oh, wait a minute.

ABBIE:

What'd ya forget, Jingles?

SOUND:

JINGLES STRAPS ON BELT

JINGLES:

My six-guns, ma'am. With that crowd out there, I figure I'll need them a lot worse than a highfalutin speech!

MUSIC:

BRIDGE ... QUOTES "HOT TIME IN THE OLD TOWN TONIGHT"

SOUND:

CROWD HOLLERS AND JEERS ... THEN QUIETS BEHIND--

JINGLES:

Aw, now, listen to me, boys! The big cattlemen from the south used to drive their beef through this here town to the railroad. But Jackpot's got to be such an infernal sore spot, they're goin' around by the east trail now just to keep out of trouble here!

SOUND:

CROWD AGREES ("That's right!" et cetera) ... THEN QUIETS BEHIND--

JINGLES:

Now, there ain't nobody busy in this town but the undertaker. Now, here's the facts, men. Jackpot's gotta clean itself up real pronto or this here little village of yours is on its way to bein' a ghost town.

SOUND:

CROWD AGREES ... THEN QUIETS BEHIND--

JINGLES:

Now, I ain't said anything that Ben Norris ain't already said. Only he said it better. So when you cast your votes tomorrow, I ain't askin' ya to vote for me. I'm askin' ya to vote the reform ticket -- for Ben Norris and all the things he stood for.

SOUND:

CROWD CHEERS ... THEN QUIETS BEHIND--

STERLING:

All right, all right! Now I got somethin' to say! (TO TOOTHLESS) Come on up here, Toothless!

SOUND:

TOOTHLESS' STEPS TO STERLING

TOOTHLESS:

(APPROACHES) I'm a-comin', John; comin'.

STERLING:

(TO JINGLES) Now, you been soundin' off mighty big and fancy about Ben Norris, mister. But you ain't figured on one thing!

JINGLES:

Oh? What's that?

STERLING:

You ain't figured on Ben Norris!

SOUND:

PUZZLED CROWD REACTS ... THEN QUIETS BEHIND--

STERLING:

Now, Toothless here, he got a letter from Ben this mornin'.

JINGLES:

Huh?

SOUND:

PUZZLED CROWD REACTS ("What?" et cetera) ... THEN QUIETS BEHIND--

STERLING:

Stand up here and read it to the boys, Toothless.

SOUND:

TOOTHLESS' STEPS BRIEFLY

TOOTHLESS:

Uh, uh, uh-- Yes, sir, John; yes, sir. Uh, it says, er-- (READS, WITH DIFFICULTY) "Dear Friend Toothless: Con-gratulations on being such a good mayor. Keep it up."

SOUND:

PUZZLED CROWD REACTS ... THEN QUIETS BEHIND--

TOOTHLESS:

Eh, now, now-- It goes-- It goes-- It goes on. It says-- (READS) "I want all my friends to vote for you."

JINGLES:

Huh? Hey, now, let me see that letter!

TOOTHLESS:

Nawww, I ain't done yet. Says now-- Says, (READS) "'Cause I'm on my way--" This is Ben writin'. "I'm on my way to California for my health. Your friend, Ben Norris."

SOUND:

PUZZLED CROWD REACTS ... THEN QUIETS BEHIND--

STERLING:

(TO JINGLES) How do you like that, Windy? Kinda upsets your apple-cart, don't it?

ABBIE:

Why, Ben Norris wouldn't write any such thing!

BERTIE:

Indeed, he wouldn't. You're an old fraud, Toothless!

STERLING:

Yeah? Well, look for yourselves, ladies.

SOUND:

STERLING'S STEPS TO SISTERS ... RATTLE OF LETTER

STERLING:

Now, I ask ya, is that Ben's handwritin' or ain't it?

ABBIE:

(BEAT, DEFLATED) Yeah. It's his writin' all right, Bertie.

BERTIE:

(LIKEWISE) I'm afraid so, Abbie. Nobody else in town can write that nice.

MUSIC:

BRIDGE

JINGLES:

How about that, Bill? Just when I was gettin' on so good, and speakin' up so big and sassy, and makin' so many friends--

HICKOK:

Well, cheer up, pardner. We haven't lost yet. That letter only proves one thing to me.

JINGLES:

Yeah? What's that, Bill?

HICKOK:

It proves that Ben Norris is still alive.

JINGLES:

Sure! And that him and Toothless Gilford is thicker'n chicken thieves in a hen house!

HICKOK:

No, Jingles. I'd say that Ben wrote that note with a gun in his back.

ABBIE:

Why, merciful heavens! You mean John Sterling might be holdin' our Ben prisoner?

BERTIE:

Oh, Abbie! Fetch the smellin' salts! I think I'm goin' to faint!

ABBIE:

Oh, no, Bertie, not now. We haven't got time.

HICKOK:

I've been doin' a lot of thinking and a lot of lookin', Jingles. And this morning I saw Eddie Blake ride into town with his horse all lathered up.

JINGLES:

Well, he's one of Sterling's gun slicks, ain't he?

HICKOK:

Yeah, he'd just made a quick trip somewhere. So I took a look at his horse. Here's what I found in the horse's mane and tail before Blake brushed him out.

BERTIE:

Thistle pods!

HICKOK:

Right. Now, I think Blake brought in that letter from Norris.

JINGLES:

And you think he picked up them pods on his way, huh?

HICKOK:

Right again. And what I want to know: where does thistle grow around these parts?

ABBIE:

Well, there's only one place that I know of, marshal.

BERTIE:

Buffalo Pass!

HICKOK:

Good. Thanks, ladies. Come on, Jingles, let's get saddled up. I think we'll find Ben Norris at Buffalo Pass -- if we're not too late!

MUSIC:

BRIDGE

SOUND:

TWO GALLOPING HORSES' HOOVES ... THEN IN BG ... HICKOK AND JINGLES HAVE TO SHOUT TO HEAR EACH OTHER

HICKOK:

That's Buffalo Pass dead ahead, Jingles!

JINGLES:

Yeah! Say, Bill, what in tarnation is this fella Sterling up to, anyway?!

HICKOK:

I don't know, but it looks like him and his gang have just about run Jackpot into the ground!

JINGLES:

Well, he couldn't have busted that town any flatter if he was doin' it on purpose! Everybody's sellin' out!

HICKOK:

Yeah, and Sterling's the one who's buying it up -- thirty cents on the dollar!

JINGLES:

Huh! But I still don't savvy, Bill!

HICKOK:

Look, Jingles! Smoke rising from those rocks ahead!

JINGLES:

Sure enough! Somebody's got a campfire goin' up there!

HICKOK:

Yeah! Let's keep close to this side of the pass! We don't want 'em to see us until we--

SOUND:

ECHOING BOOM! AND RICOCHET! OF DISTANT GUNFIRE

JINGLES:

Whoa! Ho! Looks like they already seen us, Bill!

HICKOK:

Come on, pardner! Let's take cover behind that boulder!

SOUND:

BANG! OF HICKOK SHOOTING BACK

JINGLES:

Now you're talkin', Bill! (TO HORSE) Jump, Joker! Go!

SOUND:

HORSES' HOOVES FILL PAUSE AS THEY GALLOP TO BOULDER ... THEN SLOW DOWN IN AGREEMENT WITH FOLLOWING--

HICKOK:

(TO HORSE) Whoa, Buckshot. Whoa. Steady, boy.

JINGLES:

(TO HORSE) Hold, Joker, hold. Stand easy, now.

SOUND:

HORSES STOP AND SNUFFLE

JINGLES:

Uh oh. There, I see 'em, Bill.

SOUND:

BANG! OF HICKOK SHOOTING BACK

JINGLES:

One of Sterling's men!

HICKOK:

Yeah. Flip Donovan.

JINGLES:

Yeah. Looks like he's alone up there.

HICKOK:

Yeah. That's funny. (CALLS) Hey, Donovan! Listen!

DONOVAN:

(OFF) I can hear ya, mister!

HICKOK:

(CALLS) I'm Hickok, federal marshal!

NORRIS:

(OFF) Stay back, marshal! You'll be killed!

DONOVAN:

(OFF) I told you to shut up, Norris!

JINGLES:

Listen, Bill! Ben Norris is up there!

MUSIC:

BRIEF TRANSITION

DONOVAN:

Now, I'm warnin' ya, Norris. One more peep out of you and I'll plug ya right where ya lie, tied up or not.

NORRIS:

Don't be loco, Flip. That's Wild Bill Hickok down there. You don't stand a chance with him.

DONOVAN:

Maybe not in a fair fight, Norris. But you ought to know me better'n that.

SOUND:

BANG! ... DONOVAN TAKES A SHOT AT HICKOK BELOW

NORRIS:

What do you mean?

DONOVAN:

To get where we are, Hickok's gotta ride straight up that pass, see? And right under that clump of sage in the middle of it is enough dynamite to blow him and that fat deputy halfway to Texas.

NORRIS:

What?! You're crazy, Flip. You wouldn't do that.

DONOVAN:

No? What kind o' chance would I stand shootin' it out with Wild Bill? No, sir. Ya see this little old box here? I can set off the charge right here when I see 'em comin'.

SOUND:

BANG! ... DONOVAN TAKES A SHOT AT HICKOK BELOW

DONOVAN:

Hmm. Out of bullets. I better reload.

SOUND:

GUN BREAKS ... BULLETS LOADED

DONOVAN:

Hey, they're comin'. Yeah, they're comin'. They're almost close enough.

NORRIS:

(CALLS) Stay back, Hickok! It's a trap!

DONOVAN:

Here's the last o' Wild Bill Hickok! Now!

SOUND:

DISTANT DYNAMITE EXPLOSION!

MUSIC:

SECOND ACT CURTAIN

PANHANDLE JIM:

Wranglers, you know what the beauty of new Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops is? It's the new two-way cereal that's twice the fun. Yes-sir-ee, by jingo! You can eat Sugar Corn Pops right out of the box like candy -- like I'm eatin' 'em now. They're a real tasty snack with the sweetenin' already on 'em. And, come mornin', you can eat Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops out of the bowl with milk. They're just dee-licious both ways. So get your mom to load up big on Sugar Corn Pops and keep 'em on the pantry shelf. Then you can have all you want. And you'll want plenty, believe me. Just tell your mom to look for the big new yellow Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops boxes, with pictures of Guy Madison and Andy Devine on the front, down at the store. 'Cause that's the cereal you got a big hankerin' for. Yes, sir. Now let's hear our little song again.

BOY:

Yippee! Sugar Pops!

MUSIC:

ORGAN ACCOMPANIES JINGLE

SINGER:

They're sugar-coated, taste so sweet.
Just pour on some milk.

BOY:

And, boy, they're neat!

SINGER:

Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops!

SOUND:

TWO GUNSHOTS!

SINGER:

Sugar Pops are tops!
Now Sugar Pops you know are sweet.

BOY:

But cowboys know there's an extra treat!

SINGER:

Right out of the box, take a handful out,
Pop 'em into your mouth as you run about!
Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops!

SOUND:

TWO GUNSHOTS!

SINGER:

Sugar Pops are tops!

MUSIC:

LOPING WESTERN THEME ... THEN BEHIND--

ANNOUNCER:

By order of John Sterling, political boss of Jackpot, Ben Norris, the missing reform candidate for mayor, is being held prisoner by Flip Donovan! Now, as Wild Bill and Jingles ride down Buffalo Pass to Norris' rescue, Donovan explodes a dynamite charge right in the path of their onrushing horses!

SOUND:

DYNAMITE EXPLOSION! ... TWO GALLOPING HORSES APPROACH IN BG

DONOVAN:

There! That oughta stop 'em. I'll wait till the smoke clears away and we'll see--

SOUND:

HORSE WHINNIES

JINGLES:

(OFF) Come on, Bill! There he is! Let's get him!

HICKOK:

(OFF, TO HORSE) Up, Buckshot!

NORRIS:

Hah! It didn't work, Donovan. They're still comin'! Ya got scared and pushed that switch too soon.

DONOVAN:

(SCARED, CALLS) Hey, wait a minute! I give up, Hickok! Don't shoot! I give up!

SOUND:

HORSES SLOW TO A WALK BEHIND--

HICKOK:

(CLOSER, TO HORSE) Whoa, Buckshot. Whoa. (TO DONOVAN) All right, Donovan. Stand right there and don't move.

DONOVAN:

(DESPERATE) I - I didn't want to do it, marshal. Sterling made me do it. I didn't wanta.

JINGLES:

But ya did do it, doggone ya, and my ears are still ringin'!

SOUND:

HORSES STOP

HICKOK:

Are you all right, Mr. Norris?

NORRIS:

Sure, sure, marshal -- soon as I get untied here.

JINGLES:

Well, I'll have you loose in a jiffy.

SOUND:

JINGLES DISMOUNTS

DONOVAN:

Aw, say, it wasn't my idea, marshal.

JINGLES:

Now, Mr. Norris, we'll get you back to town and git a good meal inside o' ya. Then ya can tell us the whole story.

DONOVAN:

I'll tell ya! I'll tell everything!

HICKOK:

You'll get your chance to talk, Donovan -- to a jury!

MUSIC:

BRIDGE

ABBIE:

There! You feelin' better now, Ben?

NORRIS:

(EXHALES WITH PLEASURE) Yes, much better now, thanks. That hot soup tasted real good.

BERTIE:

Why, you poor man. You've been through an awful lot.

JINGLES:

Oh, he sure has, Miss Bertie. Y'know, come to think of it, so have I. (CHUCKLES) Say, you ain't got any more of that hot soup left, have ya?

ABBIE:

Ohhhh, why, bless your heart, Jingles. We must've forgot all about you. Now, you just sit down and--

HICKOK:

Now, wait a minute, Jingles. Let's hear the rest of Ben's story.

NORRIS:

Well, Bill, Sterling wanted to keep me out of the race. Y'see, I made the mistake of tellin' him about my deal with the railroad.

JINGLES:

Huh? Oh, what was that deal, Ben?

NORRIS:

They promised me that if I was elected mayor and could clean up this town, they'd run a spur line down from the main track so the cattlemen could load their beef right here. Well, you know it'd save 'em two days' trip.

HICKOK:

That's why Sterling was so anxious to take over all the business here.

NORRIS:

Sure, sure! Why, that spur line could bring a heap o' prosperity to Jackpot. He figured he'd clean up the town himself.

JINGLES:

Him?! Clean up the town?! (CHUCKLES SKEPTICALLY)

HICKOK:

Sure, Jingles -- after he elected his own mayor and run off all the honest merchants, he could get that spur line--

NORRIS:

Then he'd open up the stores again and have all the profits to himself.

BERTIE:

Sakes alive! That terrible man! What'll he do next?

SOUND:

GUNSHOT! ... WINDOW GLASS SHATTERS ... VIOLENT GANG HOLLERS OUTSIDE IN BG

BERTIE:

(GASPS)

HICKOK:

Look out, Miss Bertie!

JINGLES:

There's your answer, ma'am! It's Sterling and his gang!

NORRIS:

They come back to finish the job.

HICKOK:

Put out that lamp, Jingles. No sense lighting up their target for 'em.

JINGLES:

Right, Bill.

SOUND:

JINGLES' STEPS SCRAMBLE TO LAMP

ABBIE:

Oh, my stars and garters.

STERLING:

(OFF) Let 'em have it, boys!

SOUND:

GANG BRIEFLY WHOOPS AND HOLLERS AGREEMENT ... GUNSHOTS EXCHANGED, IN BG

JINGLES:

Doggone it, I can't see 'em out there in the dark!

HICKOK:

Cheer up, partner. They can't see us, either.

NORRIS:

Why, there must be five of them to one of us, Bill!

HICKOK:

Yeah, it sure looks bad. Hey, wait a minute, I got an idea.

NORRIS:

Yeah?

HICKOK:

You keep shootin', Jingles. Ben, you come with me and keep down. Miss Bertie? Miss Abbie?

ABBIE:

Yes, marshal?

BERTIE:

What is it?

HICKOK:

You've got a clothesline runnin' out the window of the shop to that big tree out there, haven't ya?

ABBIE:

Yes, yes.

HICKOK:

Good. We're gonna try a trick we once used in the Indian War. You ladies start puttin' some of those clothes here on hangers -- then stuff 'em with rags, straw, anything ya got!

ABBIE:

Well, all right, if you say so, but I don't--

HICKOK:

When I tell ya, Ben, you hang 'em onto that line and slide 'em out toward that tree.

NORRIS:

Well, sure, Bill, but what's the idea?

HICKOK:

I'm hopin' in the dark those dummies'll look enough like us to draw their fire. That'll give Jingles and me a chance to slip out the front door and really get at those buzzards.

BERTIE:

Well, what are we waitin' for, Abbie? Let's do it!

MUSIC:

BRIDGE

SOUND:

GUNSHOTS EXCHANGED BRIEFLY ... THEN GUNSHOTS ONLY FROM STERLING'S MEN, IN BG

STERLING:

Keep shootin', men! They can't hold out in there forever!

BLAKE:

Somethin' funny goin' on, John.

STERLING:

Huh?

BLAKE:

They ain't shootin' back.

STERLING:

Ya think maybe we got 'em, Eddie? Nah. Nah, it's some kind of a trick!

BLAKE:

Hey, wait. Look. Ain't that somethin' movin' over there?

STERLING:

Huh? Where? Hey, it is! It's them! They're all gittin' out o' the side window! (CALLS) Come on, boys! Around to the side! Let's get 'em!

SOUND:

GANG'S RUNNING STEPS AS THEY WHOOP AND HOLLER WHILE FIRING A VOLLEY OF GUNSHOTS ... EXCEPT FOR OCCASIONAL GUNSHOTS, ALL GROWS QUIET BEHIND--

BLAKE:

(UNEASY) Hey! John! What's wrong? We pumped 'em plumb full o' lead and they're still standin' there. I'm gittin' scared.

STERLING:

Hey, what's goin' on here? (CALLS) Hold your fire, boys! Let's see about this!

SOUND:

GUNSHOTS STOP ... STERLING AND GANG'S HURRIED STEPS TO CLOTHESLINE

STERLING:

Look, Eddie -- it's nothin' but a bunch o' clothes hangin' on a line! Hickok's tricked us again! Well, where is that hombre?

HICKOK:

Right behind you, Sterling.

STERLING:

(STARTLED EXCLAMATION)

HICKOK:

Drop your guns, all of ya.

BLAKE:

(TO STERLING) It's Wild Bill, John.

JINGLES:

Yeah! And Jingles! Now, drop 'em boys! You heard what Bill said!

STERLING:

(DEFEATED) They got us, Eddie. (CALLS) All right, throw down your guns, men!

SOUND:

DISGRUNTLED GANG GRUMBLES AND DROPS GUNS TO GROUND ... NORRIS' STEPS APPROACH

NORRIS:

Well, well. Looks like it worked.

HICKOK:

It sure did, Ben. This is the whole gang.

NORRIS:

Yup! All but old Toothless. And he don't count anyhow.

BLAKE:

He lit out, mister. Said this campaign was gettin' too hot. Said he was gettin' out o' crooked politics and into some honest line o' work.

JINGLES:

(LIGHTLY) And you know what, Ben? Hm! Now that you're back, I'm gonna do the very same thing!

SOUND:

ABBIE AND BERTIE'S STEPS APPROACH

ABBIE:

Well, sakes alive, Ben! That leaves you with a clear field, doesn't it, Bertie?

BERTIE:

It sure does, Abbie. And we're goin' to win!

HICKOK:

Looks like you already have, ladies. (TO GANG) And now, gents, you can start movin' -- straight to the jailhouse!

SOUND:

GANG'S STEPS TRUDGE OFF ... OUT BEHIND--

JINGLES:

Well, so long, ladies!

ABBIE:

Goodbye, Jingles, and thanks.

BERTIE:

I still think you'd've made a real nice mayor, Jingles.

JINGLES:

Well, ma'am-- (CHUCKLES) You know, I like kissin' babies and even the speech-makin' ain't so bad, but doggone it, that plug hat you had me wearin' makes me too good a target! Hee hee hee!

MUSIC:

ORGAN MIMICS JINGLES' LAUGH ... SEGUES TO CHEERFUL CURTAIN

ANNOUNCER:

And now here are the stars of WILD BILL HICKOK, Guy Madison and Andy Devine!

GUY:

Andy and I'll be back again on Friday with another Wild Bill Hickock story for ya.

ANDY:

Yes, sir! And it's one you won't want to miss -- all about the fightin' Wild Bill and Jingles go through in a search for a hidden valley, in the story "Gunsmoke Pass"! See ya then!

GUY:

Meanwhile, Andy and I also hope you'll remember to get Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops.

ANDY:

Right! It's the great new cereal with the sweetenin' allll-ready on it!

GUY:

You bet it is. We think Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops are great. So long.

ANDY:

See ya Friday! Hee hee hee!

MUSIC:

ORGAN MIMICS ANDY'S LAUGH ... SEGUES TO CHEERFUL TRANSITION ... THEN BEHIND--

ANNOUNCER:

Yes, sir! Kellogg's -- the greatest name in cereals -- have brought you another exciting story of WILD BILL HICKOK, starring Guy Madison and Andy Devine in person! Today's cast included Virginia Gregg, Lillian Buyeff, Jim Nusser, Ken Christy, and Fred Shields. Our director is Paul Pierce; music by Dick Aurandt. This is a David Hire Production, transcribed in Hollywood. Don't forget to listen Friday -- same time, same station -- when Wild Bill Hickok rides into the dangers of "Gunsmoke Pass"! Now, this is Charlie Lyon speaking for Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops, the cereal with the sweetenin' already on it; Kellogg's Corn Flakes, America's favorite ready-to-eat cereal; and Kellogg's Rice Krispies, the world's only talking cereal!

MUSIC:

UP FOR CHEERFUL CLOSING THEME ... UNTIL END