FX:
RINGING PHONE, PICK UP
JUDY:
Dr. Christian’s Office
FX:
MUSIC UNDER ANNOUNCER
ANN:
The Vaseline Program. The only show in radio where the audience
writes the script. Well, tomorrow’s Thanksgiving Day, so we hope you’re
in a festive mood tonight to enjoy a delightful light comedy we have for
you. The prize play is called “Cupid’s Boomerang” the Author is Joyce
Culverson of Station KWKH, Shreveport, Louisiana. The star is Gene
Hershold with Rosemary DeCamp in the supporting role of Judy Price.
FX:
MUSIC END
ANNCR:
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Vaseline.
FX:
MUSIC UP
ANN:
Now for our prize play, and it begins in Dr. Christian’s familiar
office, in the old white house at the corner of State Street and the
River Road.
JUDY:
Mrs. Atley’s on the phone, Dr. Christian.
DR:
Thanks, Judy. Hello, Mrs. Atley.
ATLEY:
(On phone) Hello, Dr. Christian. Now I want you to listen and
don’t you say no until I’ve finished. Our Ladies Aide Society is trying a
charity dance next Saturday night. We’re having it at the school
auditorium and we especially want you to be there.
DR:
Oh, well, thank you, Mrs. Atley, but really, I don’t think…
ATLEY:
Now I told you to let me finish. We especially want you because
we know those old cronies of that bachelor club you belong to follow you
like sheep. If you come, they’ll all come.
DR:
Uhm, Mrs. Atley, I really couldn’t. Thank you just the same, but I’m afraid my dancing days are long past.
ATLEY:
Now, Doctor. We’re holding this dance for a good cause, and we
want 100% turnout. The money’s going to the new hospital wing.
DR:
Well, that kind of charity, I am willing to make a sacrifice. I
don’t even mind dancing, although my bones creak to think of it.
ATLEY:
Fine. And remember, we’re counting on you to see that all the bachelor club members come too.
DR:
Well, I’ll try but I can’t guarantee that. If I know those boys that’s a pretty big assignment.
ATLEY:
Oh, no excuses now. You can get them there if you try real hard. We’ll expect you.
DR:
Alright. Good-bye, Mrs. Atley.
FX:
HANG UP PHONE
JUDY:
Did I hear you say dance, Dr. Christian?
DR:
Yes, Judy, but it’s for a good cause, the new hospital wing.
JUDY:
Oh. And you’re supposed to get all the club members there too, huh?
DR:
Yeah. Sounds like quite a job, doesn’t it?
JUDY:
(amused): Ah, ha. It certainly does.
DR:
Well, I might as well go right now and try my powers of persuasion.
The fellows ought to be willing to help out on something like this.
FX:
MUSIC UP
SAM:
Hey, hey. You’re just in time, Joe. Come on in and hear this.
JOE:
What’s going on, Sam? Who’s this?
SAM:
You know my nephew, Dickie.
DICK:
Hello.
SAM:
My sister’s out of town for the week, and I’ve got to take care of
him. Paul, here, wants us all the attend the Ladies Aide Dance.
ALL:
OH HO HO
DR:
Oh, now, Sam, you don’t need to make it sound worse. It’s for a splendid cause, Joe.
JOE:
AGH
DR:
The money is going to the new hospital wing.
JOE:
Not me. I’m a charitable minded man, but charity begins at home. I
want to be kind to my feet. Let the poor suckers that married the
ladies come to their aid.
SAM:
Ha, ha, ha. That’s pretty good, Joe. I can’t go because of the
kid. Well, Doctor. You see how it is. Guess you’re just out of luck.
DR:
You could bring him along, Sam. All they want is bachelors. They didn’t say how old.
DICK:
I don’t wanna go to no dance!
DR:
Well, the least I can say is that you’re all pretty uncooperative. What about you Dan, don’t you want to come along?
SAM:
Oh, sure, sure. Dan’ll go. He wouldn’t miss a chance to put his arm around Miss Sarah.
GROUP:
laughter
SAM:
Dancing with her is the only time he’s got nerve enough to do it. Ha Ha Ha
DR:
How about it, Dan? Can I count on you?
DAN:
Uh, I guess so Paul.
SAM:
Ha Ha. You see! What’d I tell you? He wouldn’t miss the chance.
JOE:
Stop kidding him, Sam. See, you’re making him blush.
DR:
Oh, alright, you fellas. Dan can’t help if he is shy. You just wait
and see. Some day he’ll get up nerve enough to propose to Sarah. And
I’ll bet that she’ll accept him, too.
DAN:
Oh, do you think so, Paul?
DR:
Certainly I do. Why all you have to do is ask her. I am sure it isn’t hard.
SAM:
Why don’t you ask her for him, Doctor?
JOE:
Yeah. Paul “John Alden” Christian we’ll call him.
All:
chuckles
SAM:
Tell you what, Doctor, if you’ll propose to Sarah for Dan at the dance, then we’ll all go.
DICK:
Say, that might be fun. I gotta see this.
DAN:
Oh, no. That wouldn’t be right. Would it, Paul?
SAM:
That’ll put you on the spot now, Doctor.
DR:
Now you both think you’re being funny, but I’m just going to fool you.
SAM:
Hum.
DR:
If Dan wants me to I will propose to Sarah for him and catch you in your own trap.
SAM:
Oh, but, Paul…
JOE:
This I gotta see. I’ll be there.
SAM:
Me too.
DICK:
Me too.
JOE:
I bet you can count on all the rest of the boys too, Paul.
DAN:
Oh, are you sure this will work, Paul?
DR:
Now don’t you worry about a thing Dan. You fellows just be sure you all show Saturday night at the School Auditorium.
FX:
MUSIC UP
FX:
MUSIC, CROWD NOISE UNDER ACTORS
SAM:
Well, well, Paul, we’ve been here for an hour. When are you going to ask her?
DICK:
Yeah, when you gonna do it? I been waitin’ and waitin’.
DR:
Now, don’t rush me, Sam. Don’t rush me. We have to wait for an
opportune moment you know. I see Judy over there. Excuse me. Oh, Hello,
Judy. Do you care to dance?
JUDY:
Oh, I’d love to Doctor Christian. What’s the matter, Doctor, don’t you feel well?
DR:
Oh oh, yes, yes. I feel fine.
JUDY:
You seem so nervous. Not like yourself at all. Your hands are positively clammy.
DR:
They are?
JUDY:
Yes. By the way, I am amazed to see the bachelors club turn out.
(giggles) One of them is a little young. How in the world did you get
them to come?
FX:
MUSIC ENDS, APPLAUSE
DR:
I, uhm, I sort of bribed them, I guess, Judy.
JUDY:
Bribed them? What with?
ATLEY:
Well, hello there, you two. Now I’ll serve you some punch.:
DR:
Yes, please, Mrs. Atley.
JUDY:
Thank you.
ATLEY:
Doctor, I don’t know how you did it, but congratulations on
getting all the extra men here tonight. You know we ladies didn’t really
think you could.
DR:
Oh, oh. It was nothing, Mrs. Atley. Glad to help the cause.
JUDY:
Bring your punch and let’s sit down, Dr. Christian. Now what’s
the matter with you, Doctor, you’re getting more fidgety by the minute.
DR:
Oh, Judy. I’ve got myself in an awful mess. I don’t know how to get out of it.
JUDY:
Well, what in the world is it?
DR:
Well, you see, Judy. I got the boys to come to the dance tonight by
promising that I would propose to Sarah Moyes for Dan Summers.
JUDY:
Dr. Christian!
DR:
Yes, I know, I know it sounds a little foolish to me too…now. But
you know how timid Dan is. He’s been in love with Sarah for years, just
hasn’t got nerve enough to tell her.
JUDY:
Shh, speak of the devil. Hello there, Dan, how are you?
DAN:
Oh, alright I guess, Judy. Oh, will you excuse us a minute I have to speak to Paul alone.
FX:
MUSIC STARTS UP AGAIN
JUDY:
Oh, certainly. Here you go, you can have my seat. I have this dance anyway.
DAN:
Oh, no, wait Judy. I…
JUDY:
See you later, Doctor.
DAN:
Paul, when are you going to ask her? I can’t stand the strain much longer.
DR:
Listen, Dan, after thinking it over, I don’t think…
DAN:
Oh, but Paul, you’re not backing out.
SAM:
Oh, there you are Doctor. Listen, we kept our part of the bargain. Now, when are you going to keep yours?
DICK:
This is boring. I wanna go home.
JOE:
That’s right. My feet are killing me.
DR:
All right.
SAM:
Oh, oh, oh, there she is by the door. Here’s that opportune moment
you’ve been waiting for, now take her outside and ask her.
DAN:
Oh, yes, yes. Go on, Paul. This suspense is more than I can take.
DR:
Well, here goes.
SAM:
Oh, come on boys, we can’t miss this.
DICK:
Oh, boy! Grownup peeping-toms.
JOE:
Let’s duck out this door. We can stand behind the bicycle rack from here. Come on, gang.
SAM:
And Dickie—you better be quiet.
DICK:
You bet. Won’t hear a peep out of me!
FX:
MUSIC DOWN UNDER VOICES
SARAH:
Really, Dr. Christian, I don’t need any fresh air. It doesn’t seem warm to me.
DR:
Oh doesn’t it? I think it’s very warm.
SARAH:
Well, I really must go back in now. The ladies will be wondering where..
DR:
Oh, Sarah, just a minute. Er, I’ve been wanting to speak to you all evening about, about something very important.
SARAH:
Is that why you’ve been acting so funny. Well, what is it?
DR:
Ah hem. Sarah, uh, I know you never suspected it, but there is someone in this town who is very much in love with you.
SARAH:
In love with me?
DR:
Yes. Sarah, this someone would like to ask you to, to be his wife.
SARAH:
(Giggle) Why, Paul.
DR:
Yes, to be his wife.
SARAH:
Oh, Paul, why didn’t you tell me.
DR:
Well, Sarah, this person is…
SARAH:
Never mind, you foolish boy, you must be scared to death judging from the round about way you’re asking me.
DR:
Ha, ha. I must admit I am a little nervous. Now Sarah, as I was saying …
SARAH:
Don’t say another word. You’ve been through enough already. Of course, I’ll marry you, Paul.
DR:
Sarah!
FX:
BIKE FALLS OVER
SAM:
Shush, shush. Dickie! You knocked the bike over.
DICK:
I didn’t mean to. I just get tangled up in it.
SARAH:
Who’s that? Who’s back there?
SAM:
Uh uh, it’s us, Sarah, we just came out for a smoke.
DICK:
Hey, I didn’t know we were going to do that. Wait’ll I tell
the guys!
SARAH:
Well, It looks like the cat’s out of the bag, Paul. I suppose they heard.
SAM:
That’s right. We couldn’t help hearing. Congratulations, Paul.
JOE:
Yeah, Congratulations, Doctor.
DR:
Oh, now, listen…
SARAH:
(giggle) You’d never believe it, but Paul is the shyest man I’ve
ever… Why, whose that with you? I can’t quite see in the dark.
JOE:
Oh, it’s Dan Summers. How about congratulating Sarah and Paul, Dan.
DAN:
Ah, yes. Congratulations, Paul, Sarah.
FX:
MUSIC INTERLUDE
JUDY:
Good morning, Dr. Christian.
DR:
Oh, Good morning, Judy.
JUDY:
You don’t look so well, Doctor. Didn’t you sleep much?
DR:
I didn’t close my eyes.
JUDY:
Oh, Dr. Christian, what is it?
DR:
It’s awful, Judy. I’m engaged.
JUDY:
You’re what?
DR:
That’s right, I’m engaged and at my age.
JUDY:
Oh.
DR:
I was trying to propose to Sarah for Dan, that is. And she misunderstood me. She thought I was asking for myself.
JUDY:
Well, why didn’t you explain right away?
DR:
Oh, now, how could I. Before I had a chance to say another word,
one of those crazy idiots knocked over a bicycle and Sarah found out
they were all listening. She practically announced our engagement to
them. They all congratulated me.
JUDY:
Ooh.
DR:
Why, I couldn’t humiliate Sarah then by saying it was a mistake. That I didn’t want to marry her.
JUDY:
Was Dan there?
DR:
Oh, poor Dan. He’s heartbroken. I wouldn’t blame him if he never spoke to me again after the way I mixed things up.
JUDY:
laughs
DR:
Well, well I did expect some sympathy from you, Judy.
JUDY:
I’m sorry, but……
FX:
PHONE RINGING, PICK UP
JUDY:
Dr. Christian’s office. Oh, good morning, Miss Sarah.
DR:
Ooh, tell her I’m not in.
JUDY:
Uh, I’m sorry, Miss Sarah, he’s out on a call. Yes, I’ll be glad
to give him the message. Your house for dinner tonight. Yes, I’ll tell
him. Of course I can keep a secret. What is it? My, that is a surprise.
Well, congratulations.
DR:
Oh, No.
JUDY:
Uh, huh, I believe you’re right. I have noticed that the Doctor
looks a little peaked lately, Miss Sarah. I’ll give him your message
when he comes in.
FX:
HANG UP PHONE
DR:
Judy, what am I going to do?
JUDY:
I don’t know. She confided the secret to me. Pretty serious I guess. Maybe you’ll just have to go through with it.
DR:
Never. I, I don’t mean that Sarah isn’t a lovely woman. She is, but marry her. Besides, what would Dan do?
JUDY:
Well, why don’t you go on over to the Club and talk to the boys?
DR:
I will. If anyone calls say I’m out for the day, Judy.
JUDY:
Oh, All right.
DR:
I’m the one that needs a Doctor. I feel like I’m running a temperature. Besides I think I need my head examined.
FX:
MUSIC INTERLUDE (DISMAL)
DR:
You see how it is, fellas. You’ve got to help me get out of this.
SAM:
Yeah, yeah. I guess your right, Doctor. It is carrying a joke pretty far.
DICK:
You mean you don’t want to marry the lady?
DR:
That’s right. Besides, think of Dan.
SAM:
First time in years I can remember him missing our checker game, too.
JOE:
Yeah, he was pretty broken up alright.
DR:
Oh, I feel terrible about the whole thing.
SAM:
That’s another thing. Dan wouldn’t want Sarah’s feelings hurt for anything. Even if you did have to marry her.
DR:
Oh, stop saying that. I’ll just have to think of a way, that’s all.
Something that will take Sarah out of my arms and put her in Dan’s.
SAM:
Say, I was just thinking…
DR:
Yes, Sam. Have you got an idea?
SAM:
No, no. It’s too crazy.
DR:
Well, I’m desperate enough to try anything. What is it?
SAM:
O.K. Now here’s the idea. How do you think it would be….
FX:
MUSIC INTERLUDE (LIGHT)
FX:
FOOT STEPS (TRAFFIC NOISES IN BACKGROUND)
DAN:
It’s about time you got here, Joe. What did you want anyway?
JOE:
Sorry to keep you waiting, Dan. I had a little, um, business that delayed me.
DAN:
Well, what did you have to see me about that’s so important?
JOE:
Oh, I can’t tell you here, Dan. Let’s walk over to the club.
DAN:
Oh, I don’t want to see anybody tonight, Joe.
JOE:
Oh, come on. We all know how you feel, but well you know the old saying; “May the Best Man Win.”
DAN:
Oh, OK I guess I might as well.
JOE:
Thatta boy. Here, let’s go this way.
FX:
FOOTSTEPS
DAN:
What for? It’s no shorter.
JOE:
Well, what’s the difference. It’s a nicer street.
DAN:
Oh, you’re just making me feel worse, Joe. What’s the use of walking by Sarah’s house?
JOE:
Oh, now, you have to get a hold of yourself, Dan. You can’t live
in Rivers End the rest of your life and not pass Sarah’s house. You
might as well get used to it. As a matter of fact you’ll probably see a
good deal of Sarah and Paul after they’re married. Yeah. You might as
well just get used to it.
DAN:
Oh, dear, dear.
JOE:
Come on now old man, buck up. We’re almost passing Sarah’s house right now.
DAN:
Yeah. Oh, Joe. Look there. Is that smoke coming out of that window?
JOE:
By golly, I believe it is.
DAN:
Her house is on fire, Joe! Sarah’s house is on fire!
JOE:
You’re right, Dan, it is.
DAN:
Run to the corner and sound the alarm. I’m going in.
JOE:
No, no, Dan. You can’t risk your life to save Sarah’s.
DAN:
Let go of me, Joe, I’m going in, I tell you. I’m going in.
FX:
RUNNING FOOTSTEPS
SAM:
Joe, Joe! Here we are back in these bushes.
DICK:
Boy, that’s a lot of smoke.
JOE:
What? He’s just like a fish. Did you see the way he tore in there?
DR:
Yeah, I only hope they’ll react to the rest of the plan as well.
JOE:
Hey, get back, here he comes out again.
DICK:
And he’s carryin’ something.
DR:
Look, boys, look. He’s carrying her.
JOE:
Go on over, Joe, see what happened. We’ll follow you in a minute.
FX:
RUNNING
JOE:
OK.
DAN:
Oh, Joe?
JOE:
Yes.
DAN:
Where have you been? She fainted.
JOE:
She did.:
DAN:
She fainted dead away.
JOE:
No.
DAN:
I had to carry her out.
SAM:
Hey, hey, what’s the trouble, Dan? Dr. Christian and I just happened to be passing, we saw the smoke.
DR:
Yeah, we’d better see what we can do about that fire, Sam.
SAM:
Come on, Dickie.
DICK:
Oh, boy!
DAN:
Oh, Sarah. Joe, you rub her wrists.
JOE:
Sure, sure.
DAN:
Oh, I wish I had some smelling salts.
SARAH:
Ohh…
DAN:
Sarah, Sarah, can you hear me?
SARAH:
Oh, oh, what’s happened? What are you doing holding me in your arms, Dan Summers?
DAN:
Hum?
JOE:
Don’t you remember, Sarah? Your house caught on fire.
SARAH:
Yes, of course. Now I remember. But how did I get out here?
JOE:
Why, Dan saved your life.
SARAH:
He did?
JOE:
Sure did. Why, Sarah he was like a wild man. Rushed right into the flames.
SARAH:
I didn’t see any flames.
JOE:
Oh, I guess the boys got them under control now.
SARAH:
Why, Dan, that was mighty brave of you.
DAN:
Ah, shucks, Sarah. I’d face a thousand burning buildings for you.
SARAH:
I don’t know what to say.
JOE:
Don’t you understand, Sarah. Dan loves you. Been in love with you for years.
DAN:
Oh, now, Joe.
JOE:
Shush. Be quiet Dan. Sarah’s an intelligent woman. I guess she can
see the true worth of any man whose willing to risk his life for her.
DAN:
Oh, I’m sorry Sarah. Joe’s shouldn’t have told you that.
SARAH:
But, Dan, if that’s the way you felt, why didn’t you ever tell me?
JOE:
Oh, he’s too bashful, Sarah. Too bashful. Took an emergency like this to make him forget it.
DAN:
Aw shucks, Joe.
JOE:
See what I mean, Sarah?
SARAH:
Dan, you should have let me know. Things might have been different all these years. Oooh…
DAN:
What’s the matter, Sarah?
SARAH:
Paul, I forgot about Paul. I’m engaged to him, you know, Dan.
DAN:
Oh. I know.
JOE:
Well, You’ll just have to tell him the truth. If you and Dan love each other, you can’t marry another man, now can you?
SARAH:
But, how could I tell him? Oh, no. It’s too late now, I guess.
JOE:
Now listen, Paul’s a strong man. He’ll just have to bear it. You
two have to tell him the truth, that’s all. Shush. Here he comes now.
FX:
FOOT STEPS
JOE:
You’d better tell him, Sarah.
DAN:
Oh, I don’t think we should so this to Paul.
DR:
Well, we got the fire out. How do you feel, Sarah?
SARAH:
Awful.
DR:
What is it? You weren’t hurt were you?
SARAH:
No, but Paul I have something to tell you.
,?SARAH:
Paul, I can’t tell you how sorry I am, but Paul I can’t marry you that’s all.
DR:
(excited) Sarah, Do you mean it? (recovering) I mean, why?
SARAH:
I love Dan and he loves me. We just discovered it. So naturally I can’t marry another man, when…
DR:
No, naturally. Ah, this is a bitter blow, Sarah, but well I guess I’ll just have to take it like a man.
JOE:
Yeah, that’s right, Doctor. Chin up.
DR:
Yes. Oh, I wish you and Dan every happiness, Sarah. As for me…
DR:
Oh, no, no, no, Dan. It’s alright. The best man won. That’s all.
DAN:
Oh, thanks, Paul.
SARAH:
I’m terribly sorry, Paul. Well, I must say I never expected to have two men wanting to marry me, at my age.
SAM:
Guess we’d better be getting on. You’ve had enough excitement for one evening, Sarah.
JOE:
Yeah, Dan. You take Sarah in a talk over your future plans.
SARAH:
But the house…
SARAH:
My goodness. If it hadn’t been for that, just think, Dan might never have spoken. I might have married the wrong man.
DR:
I shudder to think of it.
SARAH:
What?
DR:
Oh, I say I shudder to think of how unhappy you might have been.
FX:
MUSIC (BRIDAL)
DR:
So my happiness, Judy is a simple matter of status. Last night I was engaged. Today I’m unengaged.
DR:
Oh, oh, well, Sam and I made a smoke bomb and threw it in the window.
JUDY:
And how did you and Sam make a smoke bomb?
DR:
Well, if you must know we made it with a chemistry set that belongs to Sam’s nephew.
JUDY:
(laughter). The dignified Dr. Christian. I wish I could have seen you. Sam’s nephew must have been a bad influence.
JUDY:
(laughter) Yeah..
FX:
PHONE RINGING, PICK UP
JUDY:
Excuse me. Hello? Oh, hello, Mrs. Atley. Yes, he’s here. Just a moment. For you, Doctor.
DR:
Hello. You want me to what? (firm) Oh, no I’m very sorry, Mrs.
Atley, I couldn’t possibly. No. I’m sorry. In fact, I’m going out of
town for the week. I may be gone for a month. Now don’t count on me.
Good-bye, Mrs. Atley.
JUDY:
What now?
DR:
Mrs. Atley’s unmarried sister is in town. She invited me to dinner. She wants her to meet some of the boys.
DR:
Uh uh, not me. I tried to shoot one arrow for Cupid and it boomeranged on me. Never again.
JUDY:
(laughing) Oh, Doctor.
FX:
MUSIC UP
ANN:
And the curtain comes down on another Dr. Christian prize play
with our star Gene Hershold waiting to greet you. But first a message
from Judy Price.
JUDY:
Friends, in most any first aid class you learn that the skin is
mighty important to your health because it protects you against
infection. But remember the skin does many other vital jobs too, like
getting rid of waste materials and regulating body temperature. So of
course, the skin should get immediate attention whenever there is the
slightest burn or other irritation. Always keep a jar of Vaseline
Petroleum Jelly handy. There’s nothing better for minor household burns.
Yes, and doctors often recommend Vaseline Petroleum Jelly for baby’s
tender irritated skin. What’s more, folks who work with paint, plasters
and other irritants, find that it protects and sooths their hands to
smooth on Vaseline Petroleum Jelly before and after working. In fact,
there’s probably nothing in your medicine cabinet that does so much, yet
costs so little as safe, dependable, Vaseline Petroleum Jelly. Insist
on Vaseline Petroleum Jelly, a quality product, only 15 cents for the
popular size, 25 cents for the large economy jar.
ANN:
Thank you, Rosemary deCamp, and now here is Gene Hershold.
GENE:
Thank you very much. The author of tonight’s play, Joyce
Culverson, spent her early working years in show business as a dancer.
Now she’s employed as production manager of station KWKH, a CBS
affiliate in Shreveport, Louisiana. The play you heard tonight is her
first sale in the literary line. Next week we plan to present a new
prize play called “Gold Girl” by Barbara Corcoran of Hollywood,
California. We invite you all to join us again next Wednesday evening,
same time and same station.
FX:
MUSIC UNDER GENE
GENE:
Until then I’ll say, Good Night
FX:
MUSIC UP and under announcer
ANN:
Lips chapped. Don’t put up with it. Use Vaseline lip ice. Healing
begins almost immediately. Vaseline lip ice costs only 10 or 25 cents at
any drug store. So for quick relief, quick healing when lips are
chapped, get Vaseline Lip Ice.
FX:
MUSIC END
ANN:
Art Gilmore speaking, this is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.