MUSIC:
INTRODUCTION ... THEN OUT
FLORENCE:
So you think you're going to take Tom away from me, do you, Barbara?
BARBARA:
Yes, I do, Florence. Or am I supposed to call you "Miss Wells," because you're the star of the show?
FLORENCE:
You should be glad I'm a star, and the kind of star who packs the house! Or you'd be just another chorus girl looking for work.
BARBARA:
I'll be a star myself someday.
FLORENCE:
What are you going to use for-- (CHUCKLES) --talent?
BARBARA:
You were a chorus girl once, remember?
FLORENCE:
I don't like remembering, so don't get me started, Barbara. But you remember something: Tom belongs to me, and me alone!
BARBARA:
Tom loves me, not you.
FLORENCE:
Loves you? (LAUGHS) Don't make me laugh.
BARBARA:
But he does! He told me so.
FLORENCE:
Oh, you're not that naïve –- you couldn't be. What makes you think he can see anything in you, when he compares you with me? Why, next to me, you're practically a schoolgirl.
BARBARA:
I still say Tom is in love with me, and he's going to marry me!
FLORENCE:
(CHUCKLES) Well, that isn't what he told me on the phone last night.
BARBARA:
Hmm? Tom didn't call you last night. He wasn't even in town. And he isn't in town now!
FLORENCE:
Oh, haven't you ever heard of the long distance telephone?
BARBARA:
He called you long distance?
FLORENCE:
And talked to me for thirty beautiful minutes.
BARBARA:
(SKEPTICAL) Mm hm.
FLORENCE:
I don't think you heard from him, did you?
BARBARA:
No. And I don't think you did, either.
FLORENCE:
(FURIOUS) Are you calling me a liar?! I'll--!
BARBARA:
Put that bowl down, Florence! If you hit me--
FLORENCE:
I'll hit you, all right! I'll--!
BARBARA:
No!
SOUND:
CRASH! OF GLASS SHATTERED
BARBARA:
(SHOCKED) The mirror. You've broken that mirror!
FLORENCE:
(AMUSED) Yes, I have, haven't I? And it's your mirror. That means seven years' bad luck.
BARBARA:
(SLOWLY) Yes, it does. But it won't be – for me!
MUSIC:
TAG
ANNOUNCER:
And now meet Dick Kollmar as Boston Blackie -- enemy to those who make him an enemy; friend to those who have no friend.
MUSIC:
TAG
SOUND:
PHONE RINGS (CALLER'S PERSPECTIVE) ... THEN LINE CONNECTS ... MARY, ELSIE, AND FLORENCE'S VOICES ON FILTER
BLACKIE:
(DURING ABOVE, HUMS TO HIMSELF)
MARY:
(GROGGY) Hello?
BLACKIE:
Oh, hello, Mary? This is Blackie. Did I wake you up?
MARY:
Not quite, Blackie. I was just taking a nap.
BLACKIE:
Oh, I'm sorry. All I wanted to do was to tell you that I got two tickets for the theater tonight.
MARY:
(MOCK EXCITED) Oh! Oh, I'll be ready in ten minutes.
BLACKIE:
(CHUCKLES) Now, take it easy. It's only four o'clock in the afternoon. (CHUCKLES)
SOUND:
CLICKETY-CLICK ON PHONE LINE
ELSIE:
(URGENT) 'Scuse me, Blackie!
BLACKIE:
Hey, who's this?
ELSIE:
This is Elsie, on the switchboard downstairs.
BLACKIE:
Oh, Elsie? Well, look, you cut me off! I was talking to Miss Wesley.
ELSIE:
(QUICKLY) Yeah, I know; I'm holdin' that call, Blackie, but there's a woman on the phone wants to speak to you -- she says it's urgent, she sounds like she means it -- that's why I cut in.
BLACKIE:
Oh, all right. Well, explain to Miss Wesley, and have her hold on a minute. I'll take the other call.
ELSIE:
Yes, sir.
SOUND:
CLICKETY-CLICK
ELSIE:
Go ahead, miss. Here's your party.
FLORENCE:
(WORRIED) Boston Blackie? This is serious. I'm Florence Wells.
BLACKIE:
What's so serious about that? Hey! Are you Florence Wells, the musical comedy star?
FLORENCE:
Yes, and I need your help.
BLACKIE:
Heh. You've done all right without help, Miss Wells. I hear your show is a hit.
FLORENCE:
Yes, it is. But, Blackie, I didn't call up to talk about my show or myself. I have to see you. I'm - I'm in desperate trouble. I'm afraid something's going to happen to me -– soon, maybe tonight. You've got to see me in my dressing room this evening before I go on.
BLACKIE:
Say, you sound as if you're on the level, Miss Wells.
FLORENCE:
Yes, I am. Will you be here tonight? Curtain time is eight-thirty, but I'd like to see you no later than seven-thirty, please. Please be there, Blackie –- it's important.
BLACKIE:
Seven-thirty? (INHALES) All right, I'll be there, Miss Wells.
FLORENCE:
(RELIEVED) Thank you, Blackie. Goodbye.
BLACKIE:
Goodbye.
SOUND:
RECEIVER DOWN AND UP ... CLICKETY-CLICK
BLACKIE:
(DURING ABOVE, HUMS TO HIMSELF)
ELSIE:
Yes, Blackie?
BLACKIE:
Er, did Miss Wesley hold the line?
ELSIE:
Yes, she did. Here she is.
BLACKIE:
Thanks.
SOUND:
CLICKETY-CLICK
BLACKIE:
Hello, Mary? I'm sorry about the interruption.
MARY:
Oh, that's all right, inasmuch as there's nothing I can do about it now, anyway.
BLACKIE:
(GENTLY) Er, Mary, we're, er-- We're not going to the theater tonight.
MARY:
We're not going? Why not?
BLACKIE:
Well, our conversation was interrupted by Florence Wells.
MARY:
Florence Wells, the musical comedy star? I don't like her.
BLACKIE:
I've got to meet her in her dressing room at seven-thirty tonight.
MARY:
You are?! Well, I definitely don't like that.
MUSIC:
BRIDGE
SOUND:
BACKSTAGE BACKGROUND ... CAST AND CREW MURMUR AND BUSTLE
BROWN:
(OVERWROUGHT, LOUD) Where's Miss Wells?! Has anybody heard from Florence Wells?! It's seven-thirty! Why isn't she here?! (CALLS) Joe?!
JOE:
Yes, Mr. Brown?
BROWN:
Don't move away from that door! The minute Florence Wells comes in, you let me know; I want to talk to her!
JOE:
Yes, sir!
BROWN:
All right, everybody! Girls? Boys, too! Let's get onstage, and check costumes, makeup! (CALLS) Dilly! Let's have full overhead lights back here! (MOVING OFF) Joe, don't you forget! The minute Florence Wells comes in--!
JOE:
Yes, I know, Mr. Brown, you want to talk to her right away; okay, okay!
SOUND:
STAGE DOOR OPENS ... BLACKIE'S STEPS IN ... STAGE DOOR CLOSES BEHIND BLACKIE--
JOE:
Hey, you! Where do you think you're goin'?
BLACKIE:
(APPROACHES) I don't think I know where I'm going. I'm Boston Blackie. I'm supposed to see Florence Wells at seven-thirty. She sent for me.
JOE:
Well, I wish somebody'd send for her. She isn't here.
BLACKIE:
Oh! Oh, I see. Well-- Well, maybe she left a message for me. Whom would I ask?
JOE:
Ask Ella, Miss Wells' maid. She's in Miss Wells' dressin' room. That first door there.
BLACKIE:
Thanks.
SOUND:
BLACKIE'S STEPS TO DRESSING ROOM DOOR
JOE:
(FADING OFF) Dunno what yer thankin' me for. I didn't do anything for ya.
SOUND:
KNOCKING ON DOOR ... DRESSING ROOM DOOR OPENS
BLACKIE:
Is Miss Wells here?
ELLA:
(EXASPERATED) No, Miss Wells ain't here. She-- (APOLOGETIC) Oh, excuse me, I thought you were somebody else.
BLACKIE:
I'm Boston Blackie. I have an appointment to meet Miss Wells here at seven-thirty. I thought maybe she'd left a message for me, or something? She said it was awfully important for me to see her.
ELLA:
I'm sorry, Mr. Blackie, but she didn't leave no message for anybody.
BLACKIE:
No message, huh? Well, I'll wait around for a little while outside. Thanks.
ELLA:
You're welcome.
SOUND:
DRESSING ROOM DOOR SHUTS ... BLACKIE'S STEPS TO JOE
JOE:
No message?
BLACKIE:
No, no message.
JOE:
Well, wait a little while. She's bound to show up by curtain time, anyway.
BLACKIE:
Well, I hope so.
SOUND:
STAGE DOOR OPENS
FLORENCE:
(BREEZILY) Good evening!
JOE:
Miss Wells, everybody's been lookin' for ya.
FLORENCE:
Oh, sorry, Joe, I was delayed.
JOE:
Well, Mr. Brown wants to see you right away. He wants to talk to you.
FLORENCE:
Ohhhh, don't tell him I'm here. I don't want to talk to him.
BLACKIE:
(CLEARS THROAT) I take it you want to talk to me, Miss Wells.
FLORENCE:
Oh? Who are you?
BLACKIE:
Boston Blackie. You sent for me, remember?
FLORENCE:
(MERRILY) Oh, yes! But you'll have to wait until after I change into my costume. (MOVING OFF) I won't be long. Stick around, will you?
BLACKIE:
(FLUSTERED) Well, yes, of course, but, look--
FLORENCE:
(OFF) Just stick around!
SOUND:
DURING ABOVE, FLORENCE'S STEPS TO DRESSING ROOM DOOR, WHICH OPENS
FLORENCE:
(OFF) Ella, do you have my costume ready?
ELLA:
(OFF) No, Miss Wells, I'm sorry.
FLORENCE:
(OFF, EXPLODES) You fool! What do you mean, no?! What's the matter with you?! Don't you know that I--?!
SOUND:
DRESSING ROOM DOOR SLAMS, CUTTING OFF FLORENCE
BLACKIE:
(IRONIC, TO JOE) Very pleasant young lady. But, er, I suppose you have to make excuses for people like Miss Wells.
JOE:
You make the excuses if you want to. I'll make room for 'em. I sure don't like to get in their way.
BLACKIE:
Personally, I prefer the stay-at-home type myself. But there's something interesting about people in show business.
FLORENCE:
(OFF, BEHIND DOOR, TO ELLA) Ella, you idiot! Will you stop dawdling and get me my dress, if you don't want to look for another job! (CONTINUES INDECIPHERABLY FOR A BIT IN BG, THEN OUT)
JOE:
(DRY, TO BLACKIE) Interestin', huh?
BLACKIE:
From a distance, pal, from a distance.
JOE:
What happens to some people when they get to the top gets me. Now, you take that girl Barbara, for instance.
BLACKIE:
Barbara? Who's she?
JOE:
Girl in the chorus. Ah, there she is. That pretty brunette at the top of the landing. She's probably goin' out for some coffee. Now, there's as sweet a girl as you ever wanna know.
BLACKIE:
Yes, she is pretty. (QUIET WOLF WHISTLE) And, er, "want to know" is right!
JOE:
Now -- yes. But I'm willin' to bet anything that if she gets to the top of the heap, she'll be just as mean and hard to get along with as this Florence Wells.
BLACKIE:
Oh, I don't know about that. There're all kinds of people in the world. Maybe this kid--
SOUND:
DRESSING ROOM DOOR OPENS, OFF
JOE:
Oh, that must be Miss Wells. Well, guess I'll be going.
BLACKIE:
It's not Miss Wells; it's her maid, Ella.
JOE:
Oh, yeah.
ELLA:
(OFF, PLACATING) Yes, Miss Wells, I'll get it right away. Right away.
SOUND:
DRESSING ROOM DOOR CLOSES, OFF ... ELLA'S STEPS AWAY, BEHIND--
ELLA:
(MOVING OFF, MUTTERS TO HERSELF) Trouble, trouble, nothin' but trouble.
JOE:
What'd she say?
BLACKIE:
I think it was something about trouble.
JOE:
Well, she oughta know a lot about trouble. She works for a gal who's really trouble.
MUSIC:
BRIDGE
BARBARA:
(WEEPS QUIETLY)
TOM:
Aw, will you quit your bawlin', Barbara? You're makin' me sorry I ever let you come over here.
BARBARA:
But, Tom, I'm so frightened. I go on stage in a half hour, but I had to run out and see you. Florence talked to me this afternoon. She was terribly excited.
TOM:
So what's talk? Talk never hurt nobody. Now look, cheer up! You gotta go on stage pretty soon.
BARBARA:
Tom, listen to me. We're gonna stop seeing each other.
TOM:
We are not! Now, come on, snap out of it, baby! This is no way to act when I just got back to town! I thought you were glad to see me.
BARBARA:
I am glad, Tom. Because it means we can break off right now! Before something horrible happens!
TOM:
Whaddaya mean "before somethin' happens"? What's gonna happen?
BARBARA:
I don't know. All I know is, Florence will do something awful if I don't give you up. So I'm giving you up, Tom.
TOM:
What?
BARBARA:
Please - please don't try to see me any more. Let Florence have you if she wants you –- it's the only way!
TOM:
Now, look, baby. Florence doesn't mean anything to me.
BARBARA:
Then why did you call her last night?
TOM:
To wish her luck in the show, that's all. I do publicity for her, remember? I like the dame, but that's all. I just like her. And not too much at that.
BARBARA:
Tom, you don't understand. She's in love with you!
TOM:
So what? (TENDERLY) I'm in love with you, baby, just you.
BARBARA:
But Florence'll--
TOM:
Listen, will ya? That dame is out o' my life. So skip what she said to you. Huh, baby? I've quit her, now - you quit cryin'.
MUSIC:
BRIDGE
SOUND:
BACKSTAGE BACKGROUND
BLACKIE:
Listen, Joe, I'm getting tired of waiting. How long before curtain time does Miss Wells come out of her dressing room?
JOE:
It'll be any minute now, Blackie. Curtain goes up in eight minutes.
BLACKIE:
That's fine, but I've been waiting for her for more than fifty minutes!
JOE:
Well, it's like I told ya. These big stars don't care about anybody.
BLACKIE:
Well, I'm getting so I don't care much what she wants to talk to me about. Can't be very important if she's--
SOUND:
STAGE DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES ... FARADAY'S STEPS IN
FARADAY:
(OFF) Hey, you!
JOE:
Yes, sir? What can I do for you, sir?
BLACKIE:
(PLEASANTLY SURPRISED) Faraday!
FARADAY:
(UNPLEASANTLY SURPRISED) Blackie, what are you doing here?!
BLACKIE:
Oh, nothing that can be of any interest to you. I'm waiting for Florence Wells to come out of her dressing room, so I can talk to her.
FARADAY:
Well, you're gonna have a long wait.
BLACKIE:
Oh, I don't know. It's eight minutes to curtain time, and she has to make the curtain.
FARADAY:
She isn't making anything any more but headlines, Blackie. I just found her dead body, eight blocks down the street.
JOE:
What?! Miss Wells is dead?
FARADAY:
Very. I'm Inspector Faraday of the police. I want to see the dead woman's dressing room.
JOE:
Sure! Right this way, sir.
BLACKIE:
Now, hey, hey, hey, wait a minute! This is impossible, Faraday. Florence Wells went into that room right there fifty minutes ago, and she hasn't come out of it.
FARADAY:
Yes, she has. She's gone down the street and been murdered. And she isn't coming out of that!
BLACKIE:
Now, look, wait a minute! I'm serious, Faraday. Joe and I both saw her go in, and we've been standing right here ever since, and Florence Wells didn't leave her dressing room!
JOE:
That's right, inspector.
FARADAY:
Then whose body did I find in that vacant lot down the street?
BLACKIE:
I don't know, but it wasn't Florence Wells. She's in her dressing room right there.
FARADAY:
Are you on the level, Blackie?
BLACKIE:
So help me, I--
FARADAY:
Look, I'm the one who's gonna need help. If Florence Wells is in her dressing room, I've got an unidentified body!
BLACKIE:
Come on, Joe. Let's prove to Faraday that Miss Wells is in her dressing room.
JOE:
Yes, sir. It's this door right here.
SOUND:
THEIR STEPS TO DRESSING ROOM DOOR, IN BG
BLACKIE:
(CHUCKLES) Faraday, how do you know that body you found was Florence Wells?
FARADAY:
Because there were calling cards in her bag, and I recognized her from her picture.
BLACKIE:
(SKEPTICAL) Mm hm. Well, don't believe everything you read or see, pal. Here's Miss Wells, big as--
SOUND:
DRESSING ROOM DOOR OPENS ... THEIR STEPS IN
BLACKIE:
(BEAT, QUIETLY STUNNED) Hey-- (BEAT) Hey, there's nobody in here.
FARADAY:
I told ya she couldn't be. She's on her way to the morgue.
SOUND:
DRESSING ROOM DOOR CLOSES, CUTTING OFF BACKSTAGE BACKGROUND
BLACKIE:
And I'm on my way to the nut house! Florence Wells didn't leave this room once she came into it.
JOE:
She might've. Through that window up there.
FARADAY:
That's it! That's how she got out!
BLACKIE:
And then came back in and locked the window? Look at it, Faraday. It's locked, and from the inside.
FARADAY:
Then she got out o' here some other way. Is there a door?
BLACKIE:
Only the one that we just came through. And Joe and I were standing where we could watch that all the time!
JOE:
Maybe there's a trap door. I've heard of things like that.
FARADAY:
Good idea.
SOUND:
THEIR STEPS AS THEY MOVE A CHAIR AND PUSH BACK THE RUG, DURING FOLLOWING--
FARADAY:
Push back the rug there.
BLACKIE:
(SKEPTICAL) Yes. Yeah, I know what you'll find, too.
FARADAY:
Never mind. I've already found it.
SOUND:
KNOCKING ON FLOOR
FARADAY:
(DISAPPOINTED) Solid floor.
BLACKIE:
Faraday, I hate to confuse you, but there's no possible way for Miss Wells to leave this room except through that door.
FARADAY:
But she did! She must have! She got out of this room, walked down the street eight blocks, and got herself killed.
BLACKIE:
You're sure that was Florence Wells?
FARADAY:
Positive! I knew her from the identification in her purse and by her pictures. That was Florence Wells, all right!
BLACKIE:
If that was "Florence Wells all right," she did get out of this room. But we don't know how she got out, and that's not all right!
MUSIC:
CURTAIN
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
ANNOUNCER:
And now back to BOSTON BLACKIE.
MUSIC:
TAG ... THEN BEHIND ANNOUNCER--
ANNOUNCER:
Musical comedy star Florence Wells tells young and frightened Barbara Lane that she had better give up her boyfriend Tom or suffer the consequences. (STING!) Later, Florence phones Blackie and says she has to see him backstage at her theater at seven-thirty. (STING!) Blackie is there before the star arrives, but she goes into her dressing room without telling Blackie why she wanted to see him. (STING!) Florence apparently does not leave her dressing room by door, window, or hidden exit. But fifty minutes later she is found dead, eight blocks away from the theater. (STING!) As we return to our story, it's the next day, and Blackie and his friend Mary Wesley are in the dead star's dressing room.
MUSIC:
UP AND OUT
MARY:
This dressing room is where Miss Wells was last seen alive I guess, isn't it, Blackie?
BLACKIE:
Yes, Mary, by a maid, Ella. And now Ella's disappeared!
MARY:
Good heavens! She hasn't been murdered, too, I hope?
BLACKIE:
I certainly hope not.
MARY:
Maybe she knows who killed Miss Wells, and she's gone into hiding.
BLACKIE:
Well, that's one of the reasons I'd like to find her. I certainly can't find anything around here!
MARY:
But I thought you and the police had already checked this room for ways Miss Wells could have gotten out.
BLACKIE:
We checked it from top to bottom and didn't find anything. But I thought checking it again might do some good.
MARY:
(LIGHTLY) Ahhhh, no sign of a secret door anywhere, is there?
BLACKIE:
No sliding doors or traps, Mary. This is just a plain ordinary dressing room. Come on, Mary, let's go outside.
MARY:
All right.
SOUND:
THEIR STEPS TO DRESSING ROOM DOOR, WHICH OPENS ... BACKSTAGE BACKGROUND IN (CAST AND CREW MURMUR ... ALSO, CHORUS GIRLS REHEARSE TAP DANCE NUMBER, OFF) ... DRESSING ROOM DOOR CLOSES BEHIND--
BLACKIE:
Oh, there's the manager. Maybe he can help me. (CALLS) Oh, Mr. Brown? Mr. Brown!
BROWN:
(STILL OVERWROUGHT) Please, please, no more questions! I have enough trouble putting on a show with an understudy without answering questions!
BLACKIE:
Well, look, don't you know anything about Miss Wells? Who her friends were, where she spent her time?
BROWN:
All I know about Miss Wells is that she was the star of this show, and now I have a show without a star!
MARY:
(CLEARS THROAT)
BLACKIE:
Oh, excuse me, Mary. Mr. Brown, Miss Wesley.
MARY:
Hello.
BROWN:
(IMPATIENT) Oh, how do you do, Miss Wesley? Ah, you'll have to excuse me, I've got--
BLACKIE:
(INTERRUPTS) Now, wait a minute, Mr. Brown, wait a minute. Is there anyone in the show who might tell me something about Miss Wells?
BROWN:
Well-- Yeah, yeah, there's Barbara. She's a girl in the chorus. They knew each other, I think. But the chorus is on the stage now. We're rehearsing the entire cast with the understudy.
BLACKIE:
Well, can't you get her off the stage?
BROWN:
No! I can't do a thing like that!
BLACKIE:
Well, look, if you let me ask her a few questions, I'll stop asking you questions.
BROWN:
(EXASPERATED) Well, all right. (CALLS) Joe?!
JOE:
(OFF) Yeah?
BROWN:
Ask Barbara to come in here, will you?
JOE:
(OFF) Okay.
MARY:
I hope pulling a girl out of the line won't throw the understudy.
BROWN:
Oh, no, no, Miss Wesley. They're trained to expect anything.
MARY:
Oh. Oh, here she comes!
BARBARA:
(APPROACHES) What's the matter, Mr. Brown? Was I doing something wrong?
BROWN:
No, Barbara, no. This is Boston Blackie. He wants to talk to you.
BARBARA:
Oh?
BLACKIE:
Barbara, Lane is your last name, isn't it?
BARBARA:
Yes, it is.
BLACKIE:
Well, Miss Lane, Miss Wesley. Miss Wesley, Miss Lane.
MARY:
How do you do, Miss Lane?
BARBARA:
How do you do, Miss Wesley?
SOUND:
TAP DANCE NUMBER FINISHES, OFF ... CAST AND CREW MURMUR AND BUSTLE, IN BG
BLACKIE:
Now, Miss Lane, what do you know about Florence Wells?
BARBARA:
Florence Wells? Nothing.
BLACKIE:
No? How long have you known her?
BARBARA:
Not long. I've been in town only a few months. The show wasn't cast until two months ago.
MARY:
In other words, Blackie, she's known Florence Wells only two months.
BLACKIE:
I figured that out for myself. You're not a local girl, Miss Lane; where are you from?
BARBARA:
A place no one ever heard of -- Barling, Kansas. Just a little town.
BLACKIE:
(MUSES) Barling, Kansas, huh? A little town? I wonder if I can get a little information out of it.
MUSIC:
BRIDGE
FARADAY:
Look, Miss Lane, you might as well start talking, because I'm gonna keep you right here in my office till you do.
BARBARA:
But I can't tell you anything, Inspector Faraday. I couldn't tell Blackie anything, and I can't tell you.
TOM:
Why don't you leave her alone, inspector?
BARBARA:
Tom, please--
FARADAY:
Look, Johnson, any more interference from you, I'll have you thrown out of here! Miss Lane, do you deny that Miss Wells was in your apartment yesterday? And had an argument with you?
BARBARA:
No, I don't deny it.
TOM:
How'd you find out about that, inspector?
FARADAY:
The police find out about everything sooner or later, Johnson. Now, someone in Miss Lane's apartment building heard the argument, and saw Miss Wells leave. What was that argument about, Miss Lane?
BARBARA:
(INHALES) I'd rather not say.
FARADAY:
You'd better say!
TOM:
Go ahead, Barbara, it's all right.
FARADAY:
Well. For the first time in this case, someone's being helpful. What were you two arguing about, Miss Lane?
BARBARA:
About Tom here. She wanted to take him away from me.
FARADAY:
Aha-a-a!
TOM:
She didn't kill Florence Wells, I tell ya!
FARADAY:
You let me decide that, Johnson! I don't know much about this case. Nobody does. Nobody knows who killed her, or why she was eight blocks from the theater just before curtain time. Nobody knows how she got out of her dressing room without being seen. But I know something, Miss Lane. I know you're my Murder Suspect Number One!
MUSIC:
BRIDGE
SOUND:
AKIN'S VOICE ON FILTER
BLACKIE:
Hello? Hello?
AKIN:
Yes, yes, hello? Hello, I hear you. Who's this callin'?
BLACKIE:
This is Boston Blackie, calling from New York. Is this the office of the Barling, Kansas Enterprise?
AKIN:
Yes, yes, this is the office of the Enterprise. This is the editor speaking. Clem Akin's the name.
BLACKIE:
Oh, good. Look, Mr. Akin, can you tell me anything about Barbara Lane? She's a chorus girl in a musical comedy here.
AKIN:
Oh, Barbara. (CHUCKLES) Now you're talkin' about the sweetest and prettiest girl in Barling County.
BLACKIE:
You know her, then?
AKIN:
Know her? Why, I remember where she was born. It was in that old frame house on the corner of the--
BLACKIE:
(INTERRUPTS) Oh, hey -- now, look, never mind where she was born. Can you tell me anything about her that, er--? Well, you know, that the average person doesn't know?
AKIN:
Don't know what you mean, son. Say, she isn't in trouble, is she?
BLACKIE:
I don't know, I'm not sure.
AKIN:
Well, I hope not. Lane family has had enough of it with Barbara's sister.
BLACKIE:
Barbara's sister? How did she cause trouble?
AKIN:
Murdered her husband, that's what she did. Nice young fella, from over in Soft Creek.
BLACKIE:
I see.
AKIN:
No, you don't see at all, because the jury let her off. Just couldn't send a pair of pretty limbs and fluttery eyes to jail, I guess.
BLACKIE:
Well, then, Barbara's sister didn't really kill her husband?
AKIN:
Lots of folks here say she did. Me, I ain't sayin'. I like the Lane family, even her. Yep, even liked Florence.
BLACKIE:
Barbara's sister's name is Florence?!
AKIN:
Yep. She disappeared right after the jury let her off, and nobody's heard from her since.
BLACKIE:
Uh huh.
AKIN:
Guess she's dead. Too bad she went wrong. She had a nice singin' voice and could have been a big star on the radio.
BLACKIE:
Was she a blonde? Er, tall, blue eyes?
AKIN:
Yep, that's Florence. Know her?
BLACKIE:
I think I do.
AKIN:
Funny you should be askin' about Barbara Lane, and I get to tellin' you about her sister.
BLACKIE:
Why?
AKIN:
Well, there was a young feller here, a few days ago -- big youngster, with a heavy head o' black hair. Good lookin', too, except for a nasty scar on his chin. He was here askin' about Barbara, and was sorta surprised to find out she had a sister.
BLACKIE:
Well, I am, too. And I may have a surprise for you. I think I know where Florence Lane has been all this time.
AKIN:
Ya do? Where?
BLACKIE:
On the stage, under the name of Florence Wells. But – she's dead now. Murdered.
AKIN:
Murdered? Well, that's news! I'm gonna have to get that on page one of next week's Enterprise! Thanks a lot! Goodbye!
BLACKIE:
Goodbye.
SOUND:
RECEIVER DOWN
BLACKIE:
Mary, I think we have something!
MARY:
Well, from the length of that conversation, I'd judge you have a lot of something.
BLACKIE:
I think I know why Barbara Lane wouldn't tell us anything about Florence Wells. They're sisters! And I think Florence was killed by someone who was trying to blackmail her.
MARY:
Oh, Blackie, what sense does that make? In that case, the blackmailer should have been killed, not Miss Wells.
BLACKIE:
Well, the blackmailer may have known Florence Wells was going to try to kill him, so he beat her to it.
MARY:
Well, that's fine. You think you know why she was killed, but you still don't know who killed her, or how she got out of her dressing room.
BLACKIE:
I have ideas on that subject, too. Let's get hold of Faraday and go down to the theater. I think I can get out of Florence Wells' dressing room the same way she did!
MUSIC:
BRIDGE
FARADAY:
Blackie, is getting me down to this theater another of your crazy schemes to waste a lot of my time? I'm trying to find the murderer of Florence Wells.
BLACKIE:
Look, Faraday, stop calling her Florence Wells! Barbara Lane backed up my theory that Florence was really her sister, didn't she?
FARADAY:
All right, Florence Lane.
BLACKIE:
That's better. Er, Mary, do me a favor, will you?
MARY:
Sure.
BLACKIE:
Right outside the stage door, there's a shoeshine boy. Go out there and bring him in, will ya?
MARY:
Um, all right.
SOUND:
IN BG, MARY'S STEPS TO STAGE DOOR, WHICH OPENS AND CLOSES, OFF
FARADAY:
Blackie, this is no time to get your shoes shined!
BLACKIE:
No? What'll you bet, Faraday? First, I'm going to show you how Florence Wells -- actually Florence Lane, we know now -- got out of her dressing room without being seen.
FARADAY:
You can't do it!
BLACKIE:
Give me just three and a half minutes inside that dressing room, get me that shoeshine boy, and I'll show you how to polish off this case!
MUSIC:
BRIDGE
FARADAY:
Well, Miss Wesley, Blackie's been in that dressing room two and a half minutes now.
MARY:
Then he has a whole minute to go, Inspector Faraday.
FARADAY:
Minute to go. But where? He's not gonna get out of that dressing room.
MARY:
No? Well, just you wait and see!
SOUND:
DRESSING ROOM DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES, OFF ... THEN FOOTSTEPS, IN BG
FARADAY:
See? He couldn't do it. This must be Blackie now.
MARY:
Oh, no, that's not Blackie. That's the shoeshine boy.
FARADAY:
Oh, yeah?
SOUND:
FOOTSTEPS DEPART
FARADAY:
Hey! Just thirty seconds left.
MARY:
Well, please, let's give him every second he asked for.
FARADAY:
I'd like to give him twenty years -- for wasting my time like this. He's not gonna get out of that dressing room. It's impossible.
MARY:
The murdered girl got out of it.
FARADAY:
Yeah, she did. I'll bet she's sorry.
MARY:
(DISMISSIVE) Ohhh. (BEAT) All right, how much more time?
FARADAY:
Ten seconds.
MARY:
(DISAPPOINTED) Well, I guess we might as well start for the door.
SOUND:
FARADAY AND MARY'S STEPS TO DOOR
FARADAY:
And we're gonna open it, too -- right on the dot of three and a half minutes, which is ----- NOW!
SOUND:
DRESSING ROOM DOOR OPENS ... FARADAY AND MARY'S STEPS IN
FARADAY:
Well, Blackie, I told you, you--!
MARY:
Inspector Faraday, there is nobody in here.
FARADAY:
There's got to be! He's hiding!
BLACKIE:
(APPROACHES) That's right, Faraday--
MARY:
(STARTLED EXCLAMATION)
BLACKIE:
--right behind you, out here in the hall.
FARADAY:
(PUZZLED) Blackie--?
MARY:
Blackie, how did you get out there?
BLACKIE:
I walked out, just the way Florence Lane did.
SOUND:
DRESSING ROOM DOOR CLOSES ... BLACKIE'S STEPS IN
BLACKIE:
How do I look in blackface?
MARY:
Oh, good heavens, that wasn't the shoeshine boy we saw walking out of here. That was you, wasn't it?
FARADAY:
Then - then where's the shoeshine boy? How did he get out of here?
BLACKIE:
The way Florence Lane's maid, Ella, got out of here. I boosted him through that window there, and then locked it from the inside.
FARADAY:
Yeah?
BLACKIE:
Before that, we'd switched clothes, and I blacked up, and then walked out here. Just as Florence Lane walked out as the maid. Simple, isn't it?
FARADAY:
It is not! Why would that actress go to all that trouble to sneak out of here to get killed?
BLACKIE:
She didn't expect to be killed. Look, Faraday, you've told me about a fella named Tom Johnson. I want to see what he looks like.
FARADAY:
Why?
BLACKIE:
Because if he looks the way I think he looks, the looks of this case will be a lot better.
MUSIC:
BRIDGE
BLACKIE:
Nice head of hair you have there, Johnson, but where'd you get that nasty scar on your chin there?
TOM:
Oh, that, Blackie? I got it in a sledding accident when I was a kid; what's it to you?
BLACKIE:
It's nothing to me. But I'll tell you what it is to you: a very definite means of identification, and proof, too.
TOM:
Proof? Proof of what?
BLACKIE:
Proof that you were in Barling, Kansas, the day before yesterday, talking to Clem Akin, the editor of the Barling Enterprise.
TOM:
Oh?
BLACKIE:
And you were asking him questions about Barbara Lane, and don't deny it, Johnson.
TOM:
Oh, I won't deny it. I had a reason to ask questions about her. I was gonna marry her! I wanted to find out about her childhood and what she did in her home town.
BLACKIE:
But you also found out that Florence Wells and Barbara Lane were sisters, didn't you?
TOM:
Yeah? So what if I did?
BLACKIE:
I'll tell you what. What you found out about Florence was worth a lot of money to you. Musical comedy stars don't like to be known as suspected murderesses.
TOM:
Oh, you think I was gonna blackmail her, do you? Well, I wasn't. I even told her I wasn't.
BLACKIE:
Told her? When?
TOM:
I phoned her from Barling after the old editor told me about it. She got sore, but I told her she needn't worry about it; I was going to keep it under my hat.
BLACKIE:
Mm hm. Then what gave her the idea to kill you?
TOM:
What makes you think she was going to kill me?
BLACKIE:
There's only one reason Florence Wells went to so much trouble to get out of her dressing room without being seen. There's only one reason she wanted me outside her dressing room, when she went out to meet you. She was gonna kill you, and she wanted me as an alibi.
TOM:
(UNEASY) Yeah, okay. Er-- You're right, Blackie, that's just the way it was. But - but it was self-defense! She phoned me and told me to meet her on the corner by a vacant lot. She said she wanted to talk to me.
BLACKIE:
And when she met you, she pulled a gun on you, didn't she?
TOM:
Yeah, yeah. She said she didn't trust me with what I knew about her and wouldn't stand for blackmailin'. And when she came at me with that gun, I - I could tell she meant business.
BLACKIE:
So you pulled a gun on her and shot her?
TOM:
No, no, no. I grabbed the gun. I was just trying to take it away from her. And then all of a sudden it went off! I was lucky there was nobody around. I - I carted her to a lot, took the gun, and beat it back to my apartment in time to see Barbara there.
BLACKIE:
Do you have the gun now?
TOM:
What, do you think I'm nuts? I tossed it in the river.
BLACKIE:
In the river, huh? Well, Tom, I've got news for you. You're going up the river.
MUSIC:
BRIDGE
ELLA:
(WEEPS SOFTLY)
BLACKIE:
(GENTLY) Ella, nobody's going to hurt you. You're not in police headquarters to be arrested. You were Florence Wells' maid?
ELLA:
Yes, sir. But I didn't do anything wrong, just what Miss Wells told me to do. I let her boost me out of the window after I gave her my maid's uniform, and then I disappeared, just like she paid me to.
BLACKIE:
Well, Faraday, that does it. Florence Wells left her dressing room in blackface.
FARADAY:
If she was in blackface when she left her dressing room, why wasn't she still in blackface when she was killed?
BLACKIE:
She obviously stopped outside the theater and took the makeup off.
ELLA:
That's right, too, Mr. Inspector.
BLACKIE:
(GENTLY) Why didn't you come and tell us all this right away, Ella?
ELLA:
'Cause when I hear she's dead, I - I get scared to talk.
BLACKIE:
Well, thanks, Ella. Thanks for backing me up. (SHARPLY) Satisfied now, Faraday, how Florence got out and that Tom Johnson killed her?
FARADAY:
(RELUCTANTLY) Yeah. I guess so.
BLACKIE:
Well, Tom Johnson was a press agent. He was paid to get Florence Wells' name in the papers. He got it in, all right -– in the obituary column!
MUSIC:
CURTAIN ... THEN THEME UNTIL END