ANNOUNCER:

Wildroot Cream-Oil Hair Tonic and the new Wildroot Liquid Cream Shampoo present THE ADVENTURES OF SAM SPADE!

MUSIC:

TAG

SOUND:

PHONE RINGS ... RECEIVER UP

EFFIE:

Sam Spade Detective Agency.

SPADE:

It's me, sweetheart.

EFFIE:

Oh, Sam! I'm glad you're back in town.

SPADE:

So am I, Effie. So am I. Confidentially, I didn't think I'd make it. Er, confidentially, that is.

EFFIE:

Was it dangerous, Sam?

SPADE:

I should say it was. Why, for the past twenty-four hours, I've been at it hammer and tongs, over hill and dale, through shot and shell. It was enough to turn any ordinary man's blood to ice, and his hair pure white.

EFFIE:

Oh, that sounds terrifying, Sam.

SPADE:

I wish it had been only terrifying, Effie. It was blood-curdling, spine-chilling, hair-raising. (A QUICK ASIDE) I was bored. (UP AGAIN) It was also rural and countryfied.

EFFIE:

Well, what happened, Sam? Tell me.

SPADE:

You've heard of the Martins and the Coys?

EFFIE:

No.

SPADE:

And the Boston Massacre?

EFFIE:

No.

SPADE:

Custer's Last Stand?

EFFIE:

No.

SPADE:

Well, put them all together and they spell, er-- What I'll shortly be in to dictate -- a report, which I call, in a burst of clever literary plagiarism, "The Farmer's Daughter Caper."

MUSIC:

INTRODUCTION ... THEN OUT BEHIND--

ANNOUNCER:

THE ADVENTURES OF SAM SPADE, DETECTIVE, starring Howard Duff. Produced, edited and directed by William Spier. Presented by the makers of Wildroot Cream-Oil Hair Tonic, the non-alcoholic hair tonic that contains Lanolin.

To look your holiday best, friends, be sure to use Wildroot Cream-Oil, America's favorite hair tonic. Wildroot Cream-Oil grooms your hair neatly and naturally; relieves annoying dryness; removes loose, ugly dandruff. What's more, it's non-alcoholic and contains soothing Lanolin. Get Wildroot Cream-Oil in the big family-size bottle or handy tube. Ask for it at your drug or toilet goods counter very first chance you get. For the holiday and all year round, use Wildroot Cream-Oil Hair Tonic. Again and again, the choice of men -- and women and children, too.

MUSIC:

HARP GLISSANDOS BEHIND--

ANNOUNCER:

And now with Howard Duff as Spade, Wildroot brings to the air the greatest private detective of them all -- in THE ADVENTURES OF SAM SPADE.

MUSIC:

FIRST ACT INTRODUCTION

SOUND:

OFFICE DOOR SHUTS ... SAM'S STEPS IN

SPADE:

(INTENSE) Effie?

EFFIE:

(STARTLED GASP, OFF)

SOUND:

EFFIE'S HURRIED STEPS APPROACH

EFFIE:

I'm right here, Sam.

SPADE:

Pull up all the shades.

EFFIE:

All right, Sam.

SOUND:

EFFIE'S STEPS TO SHADES ... SHADES UP

SPADE:

Now turn on every light in the place.

EFFIE:

But it's daylight!

SPADE:

Do what I say.

EFFIE:

All right, Sam.

SOUND:

EFFIE'S STEPS TO LIGHT SWITCH ... SWITCH CLICKS ON

SPADE:

Now, er, check the closets.

EFFIE:

But what for?

SPADE:

For snipers, what do you think?

EFFIE:

All right, Sam.

SOUND:

EFFIE'S STEPS TO CLOSET ... CLOSET DOOR OPENS

EFFIE:

Nobody here.

SOUND:

CLOSET DOOR CLOSES

SPADE:

Okay. I guess it's safe to come all the way in.

SOUND:

SPADE'S STEPS LUMBER IN

EFFIE:

(TAKEN ABACK) Oh.

SOUND:

SPADE COLLAPSES INTO CHAIR, STARTS FIXING A DRINK ... CLATTER OF ICE IN GLASS

EFFIE:

What's this all about, Sam? I don't understand.

SPADE:

Effie, it's just that I don't ever want to be caught in the dark again, especially when people are shooting at me. I want to see every nook and cranny of every square foot of land that surrounds me.

SOUND:

BOTTLE ON GLASS, LIQUID POURS

EFFIE:

Sam, who was shooting at you? Where?

SPADE:

(DRINKS, EXHALES) They were shooting from the left, from the right, from up above, down below -- everywhere!

EFFIE:

(INHALES WITH HORROR)

SPADE:

Death was winging in on every breeze that blew, and they all blew my way.

EFFIE:

Oh, Sam, now stop this! I'm just dying of curiosity.

SPADE:

When my time comes, I hope that's all I ever die of. Ready?

EFFIE:

Yeah.

SPADE:

Uhhhh--- (DICTATES) Date: this week. To: Mr. Elliot Parson, Parson Drive-Yourself Garage, Sixteen-Eighteen St. Charles Street, San Francisco, 13, California. From: Samuel Spade, license number 137596. Subject: the Farmer's Daughter Caper. Dear Mr. Parson--

MUSIC:

SNEAKS IN BEHIND SPADE--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) I feel you have an explanation coming, one that you can pass along to your insurance company as to why the car I rented from you last week appeared as late as it did and in the condition it did. As you know, I rented said vehicle to drive to Middletown to bail a client out of the drunk tank. On the way back, a native showed me a shortcut. And I'll get him if it's the last thing I do. Dusk was falling, and so were my eyelids, when I saw a sign that said, "Tourists Invited." Behind it stood a ramshackle farmhouse in a surly woodland setting. (SOUND: KNOCKING ON DOOR) I should never have knocked on that farmhouse door. But then I wouldn't have had any story to tell, would I?

SOUND:

RURAL BACKGROUND, CRICKETS, ET CETERA ... FRONT DOOR OPENS

MAUDE:

Good evening, young man.

SPADE:

Good evening, madam. I'm afraid I need a room for the night.

MAUDE:

Well, of course you do. Land sakes, you're tired. I can tell by your eyes. Been on the road long?

SPADE:

Too long.

MAUDE:

Land sakes. Of course you have. Come in, please.

SPADE:

Thank you, ma'am.

SOUND:

THEIR STEPS IN ... FRONT DOOR CLOSES

MAUDE:

You'll find this is the homiest tourist home in California.

SPADE:

Really like mother's, eh?

MAUDE:

Like your grandmother's. No electricity, no phones. Just quiet.

SPADE:

I see.

MAUDE:

Now, I have two rooms. A three-dollar one and a five-dollar one. Which one do you think you'd like?

SPADE:

What's the difference?

MAUDE:

One less blanket, one squeaky spring. And with the three-dollar one, you might have to take a walk.

SPADE:

I'll take the five-dollar one, thank you.

MAUDE:

I'm Mrs. Elkins. Mrs. Bert Elkins. Who might you be?

SPADE:

Sam Spade.

MAUDE:

Spade? Land sakes, that's a very unusual name. And who are you traveling with, Mr. Spade?

SPADE:

I'm alone.

MAUDE:

Oh, I mean, what company? We only accept traveling salesmen. You realize that?

SPADE:

(IMPROVISING) Oh, uh, yes. Well, I'm, uh-- I'm, uh, traveling for the makers of Mouton mustache wax.

MAUDE:

Oh. Oh. Use it all the time.

SPADE:

You are well-groomed, madam.

MAUDE:

(LAUGHS) Well, you'll go far, young man.

SPADE:

Yeah, but before that, I'd like to go to bed.

MAUDE:

(AMUSED) Well, come on. This way.

SOUND:

THEIR STEPS UP STAIRS

MUSIC:

BRIDGE ... THEN BEHIND SPADE--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) She led me upstairs to my five-dollar room and left me. As lumpy as it was, the bed invited me, but I decided to shave first and thus facilitate an early start in the morning. I poured myself a drink out of my traveling bar kit and then stepped in to shave. It wasn't easy because all I had for light in there was an oil lamp. When I came back to the bedroom with the lamp in one hand, I stopped short in utter surprise. I'd heard about these things in traveling salesman stories, but I never expected to see it. She was sitting in an armchair, smoking a cigarette. High heels, silk stockings, light rayon dress, and a face right off the cover of Cosmopolitan.

MARY:

(AMOROUSLY) Hello, Sam.

SPADE:

(TAKEN ABACK) Hello, uh, uh--?

MARY:

Mary Smith.

SPADE:

Oh?

MARY:

Hope you don't mind me just barging in.

SPADE:

Well, no, n-- Well, no. That is, uh--

MARY:

Afraid I'll bite you?

SPADE:

Never entered my mind.

MARY:

Well, I might. I'm so tired of talking to myself. I need someone like you. You know, you're not bad to look at.

SPADE:

Who, me?

MARY:

Where do you live? What do you do for a living?

SPADE:

Well, I guess you'd call me independently wealthy. I wish someone would.

MARY:

How nice. San Francisco?

SPADE:

There must be some fog on my lapel.

MARY:

(MORE SERIOUS) Look, Sam, I'll give it to you straight. I want to get out of here, go to San Francisco. Could you take a passenger tomorrow?

SPADE:

Well, uh, what would your mother say?

MARY:

She's my aunt. What do I care what she says? I don't belong on a farm out in a wet pasture. Ruins my nylons. I'm a city girl. Philadelphia.

SPADE:

Why did you leave?

MARY:

My parents died. (BRISKLY) Look, Sam, I won't be a burden to you. I just want to get to San Francisco. After that, I'm on my own. Sam--? (SOUND: TWO STEPS CLOSER TO EMBRACE HIM) (PLEADS SLOWLY) Take me with you. Please take me with you. You won't regret it.

SPADE:

(CLEARS THROAT, AWKWARDLY) What am I gonna do with this lamp?

MARY:

(AMOROUSLY) Who cares? Oh, Sam--

SOUND:

ROOM DOOR OPENS ... MAUDE'S STEPS IN

MARY:

(GASPS)

SPADE:

(CLEARS THROAT)

MAUDE:

(ANGRILY) Well, I thought I'd find something like this going on in here!

MARY:

Aunt Maude, I - I--

MAUDE:

Get out of here! Go back to your room, young lady. Go on!

SOUND:

MARY'S HURRIED STEPS AWAY

MAUDE:

Now, Mr. Spade--

SPADE:

Heh! It does look bad, doesn't it?

MAUDE:

(MORE SORROW THAN ANGER) Oh, I'm not blaming you, Mr. Spade. Land sakes, it's her. She ain't responsible for what she does. She's like this all the time.

SPADE:

I see.

MAUDE:

Now, when I go out, you just lock your door. Just keep it locked!

SOUND:

MAUDE'S BRISK STEPS AWAY

SPADE:

But, ma'am, this is a five-dollar room!

SOUND:

ROOM DOOR SHUTS

MUSIC:

BRIDGE ... THEN BEHIND SPADE--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) A sleepless hour later, I heard something slide under my door. I looked and found it was a note that read, "Mr. Spade-- Sam-- Please unlock your door, and when the house is quiet, I'll come and see you. I'm desperate. Terribly, terribly desperate. Don't leave me. Give me a chance to tell you what it's all about. Please." Stupid me, I unlocked my door, dressed again, and waited. An hour and a half later, I heard my doorknob [X] turning in the dark. The door opened quietly and quickly.

SOUND:

DURING ABOVE KNOB TURNS AT [X] ... DOOR OPENS QUIETLY AND QUICKLY ... MARY'S STEPS IN

MARY:

(LOW, URGENT) Sam, the things that go on in this house, they're insane.

SPADE:

(SKEPTICAL, BUT OPEN-MINDED) Oh.

MARY:

(RAPIDLY) I've been here three months. When my father died, I had no money, and because Aunt Maude was my only relative, I came here. And ever since I came, they never let me out of the house for more than an hour. They never let me see anyone or do anything.

SPADE:

Why?

MARY:

I wish I knew. Five days ago, Uncle Bert left early one morning. He hasn't come back since. Aunt Maude says he's away on business. He doesn't have any business.

SPADE:

Well, even so, that doesn't seem strange to me.

MARY:

Then there's my dog.

SPADE:

What about it?

MARY:

It - it disappeared -- the same night Bert did. They told me it ran away. I know it didn't. I've had it for three years. It never ran away.

SPADE:

What do you think?

MARY:

Well, I was sure I could hear it howling somewhere for two or three nights. Then the howling stopped. I think I know where it is, but I don't know why. It scares me.

SPADE:

Where do you think it is?

MARY:

Sam, you're going to think I'm crazy, right out of my mind, but-- Well, about a hundred and fifty yards behind the house, there's a hillside with an old cave in it.

SPADE:

Oh, an old cave.

MARY:

I don't know what it's used for, but yesterday I saw the whole front end of it closed. Closed with dirt. Sam, they buried that dog alive in that cave. I know it!

SPADE:

Oh, wait a minute now. Did you ask Mrs. Elkins?

MARY:

Yes. And all she said was, "the dog ran away and mind your own business." She told me to leave the cave alone. (DESPERATELY) Sam? Let's go out there and look. Please?

SPADE:

(UNCERTAIN) Well--

MUSIC:

TRANSITION ... THEN BEHIND SPADE--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) So big, brave, stupid Sam -- Idiot Boy -- allowed her to show me the back way out of the house and we sneaked to the barn together. She found a shovel and we walked to the cave. When my eyes got accustomed to the dark, I saw the entrance had been covered with dirt, and recently. (SOUND: QUIET DIGGING...SHOVEL ON DIRT) I took the shovel while she stood watching. I cleared half of the dirt away and worked as quietly as I could, but apparently not quietly enough. A flashlight suddenly [X] hit both of us in the face and a shotgun barrel flashed in the beam.

SOUND:

DIGGING STOPS DURING ABOVE AT [X] ... STEPS IN DIRT

MAUDE:

(SLIGHTLY OFF) Get away from there before I shoot your head off!

SPADE:

Point that thing someplace else, please, ma'am.

SOUND:

MAUDE'S STEPS APPROACH IN DIRT

MAUDE:

(CLOSER) Just what do you think you're doing, mister?

SPADE:

Digging.

MAUDE:

Mary, you get back to the house!

MARY:

No! Aunt Maude, I won't!

MAUDE:

Get back to the house before I count three, or I'll put a load of buckshot right through ya! Now, one--

MARY:

(TEARFUL) Aunt Maude, my dog is in there!

MAUDE:

Two--!

MARY:

(MOVING OFF) All right. All right, I'll go.

SOUND:

MARY'S HURRIED STEPS AWAY THROUGH DIRT

SPADE:

Now, Mrs. Elkins, suppose you put that gun down and tell me what this is all about.

MAUDE:

I got one thing to say to you, mister! Get in your car and get out of here, and don't waste any time doin' it!

SPADE:

But, madam, I--

MAUDE:

Your suitcase is in the car and your five dollars is with it!

SPADE:

Yeah, but--

MAUDE:

Now git -- before I shoot you as a trespasser! And I could do it, mister. Land sakes, I could do it. Now git!

MUSIC:

ACCENT ... THEN BEHIND SPADE--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) So I got -- under guard to my car. I got in and drove off. [And Mrs. Elkins stood in] the driveway with the shotgun still pointed at me until I was out of sight. I turned left at the first crossroad, parked the car, and cut through the woods back to the farm. I could see a light in the living room. Nobody was in or near the barn. When I got to the cave, there wasn't a sound anywhere. I picked up the shovel I dropped and started digging again. Thirty minutes later, the shovel broke a small hole through into that cave, and a stifling blast of fetid air rushed out, and something leaped out at me in the dark. And it wasn't the dog. It was a human hand on a human arm.

MUSIC:

UP FOR CURTAIN ... THEN BEHIND ANNOUNCER--

ANNOUNCER:

The makers of Wildroot Cream-Oil are presenting the weekly Sunday adventure of America's favorite private detective, Sam Spade.

MUSIC:

UP, FOR A LENGTHY TAG ... THEN OUT

ANNOUNCER:

Now, here's important news on good grooming. If you want the well-groomed look that helps you get ahead, socially and on the job, listen! Recently, thousands of people from coast to coast who actually purchased Wildroot Cream-Oil were asked, "How does Wildroot Cream-Oil compare with the hair tonic you previously used?" The results were amazing. Better than four out of five who replied said they preferred Wildroot Cream-Oil. Remember, non-alcoholic Wildroot Cream-Oil contains Lanolin. It grooms the hair naturally, relieves dryness, and removes loose, ugly dandruff. So if you want your hair to be more attractive than ever before, get the new 25-cent "Get Acquainted" bottle of Wildroot Cream-Oil, America's leading hair tonic, on sale at all drug and toilet goods counters. It's also available in larger economy bottles and the handy new tube. By the way, smart girls use Wildroot Cream-Oil, too. And mothers say it's grand for training children's hair. Get Wildroot Cream-Oil. Again and again, the choice of men -- and women and children, too.

MUSIC:

TAG ... THEN IN BG--

ANNOUNCER:

And now back to "The Farmer's Daughter Caper," tonight's adventure with Sam Spade.

MUSIC:

UP FOR SECOND ACT INTRODUCTION ... THEN IN BG, IN AGREEMENT WITH FOLLOWING--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) In a night already full of surprises, I should have been ready for the next one. But I wasn't.

SOUND:

A SMALL AVALANCHE OF DIRT

SPADE:

(NARRATES) The loose earth, which had blocked the entrance to the cave, suddenly fell away, and I fell with it.

LYNDON:

(WILD BLOODCURDLING SCREAM ... THEN SNARLS AND GRUNTS BEHIND SPADE--)

SOUND:

VIOLENT SCUFFLE ... IN BG--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) Then I heard something like nothing on earth. Nails dragged across my face, taking skin and flesh with them. I twisted and went down, and something went down with me. The snarl became a voice.

LYNDON:

(WILDLY) Bury me alive! Bury me alive! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! (MORE SNARLS AND GRUNTS, IN BG--)

SPADE:

(NARRATES) And he did his best, which was pretty good.

SOUND:

SCUFFLE UP ... THEN OUT BEHIND--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) Finally, I got a good hold on him and sat on his chest.

LYNDON:

(SNARLS AND GRUNTS STOP)

SPADE:

(NARRATES) After that, I lit a match (SOUND: MATCH STRIKES) and looked at a tall, thin man in his middle forties. He was caked with mud from head to foot. His hands were impossibly torn and bleeding. [X] I could guess why. Judging from the stubble on his face, he'd been bottled up in that cave at least five days. How he was still alive, I didn't know. He acted like a madman, and he had every right to. But surprise! When his eyelids fluttered open again, he read a very sane line.

MUSIC:

OUT

SOUND:

NOCTURNAL RURAL BACKGROUND ... CRICKETS, ET CETERA

LYNDON:

(HAS BEEN BREATHING HEAVILY IN BG SINCE [X] ABOVE ... WEARY, CALM, FRIENDLY) I'm all done in. You got a drink, friend?

SPADE:

Not on me.

LYNDON:

(TEARFUL) They hit me on the head and left me there. They thought I'd stay in there forever. Forever!

SPADE:

Who put you there? Who did it?

LYNDON:

But they couldn't keep me there! I dug my way out tonight! Tonight! I dug my way out! Tonight! (WILD LAUGHTER, CUT OFF BY--)

SOUND:

TWO GUNSHOTS! ... FROM OFF

MUSIC:

TENSE, IN BG--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) The force of the bullets knocked him halfway back down the incline into the cave. All I could do was hit the dirt.

SOUND:

SPADE HITS THE DIRT ... ONE MORE GUNSHOT, FROM OFF

SPADE:

(PAUSE, NARRATES) Finally, when it seemed safe, I broke cover and ran smack into somebody carrying two bags.

MUSIC:

OUT WITH--

SOUND:

SPADE'S RUNNING STEPS ... SPADE COLLIDES WITH MARY

MARY:

(LOW, SCARED) Oh, no-- No-- Please-- Please--

SPADE:

Let's have a look at you.

MARY:

(PLEASED) Sam? Sam, it's me! Sam, I knew you wouldn't go away without me. I knew it. I couldn't stay in that awful house any longer.

SPADE:

None of that now. Who was that shooting at us?

MARY:

I don't know.

SPADE:

Where's your aunt?

MARY:

In the house, I suppose. I slipped out the back way.

SPADE:

Any visitors tonight?

MARY:

No. (DISTRESSED) What is it? What is it?!

SPADE:

I think I found your Uncle Bert. Come on.

MUSIC:

TRANSITION ... THEN BEHIND SPADE--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) I led her back to the cave entrance and showed her the body of the man I dragged out. I watched her face a long time as she looked at him very carefully.

SOUND:

NOCTURNAL BACKGROUND (CRICKETS, ET CETERA)

MARY:

(QUIETLY) That's not Uncle Bert, Sam.

SPADE:

Really?

MARY:

No. It's Mr. Lyndon. Jewelry salesman. Came to the place a few nights ago.

SPADE:

Five nights ago?

MARY:

(REALIZES) Well, yes. Yes, come to think of it.

SPADE:

The same night your uncle disappeared. Tell me, did you ask Mr. Lyndon to take you back to San Francisco the same way you asked me?

MARY:

I - I--

SPADE:

Did ya?

MARY:

Yes. He said he would. He got up early and left without me.

SPADE:

He didn't get far. What kind of car was he driving?

MARY:

I don't know. I don't remember.

SPADE:

Do you drive a car?

MARY:

Yes, but, I--

SPADE:

Here. Mine's down the road about five hundred yards. Go to the nearest phone and call the highway patrol, a sheriff, anybody who represents law. Got that?

MARY:

Yes, yes. I know exactly what to do!

MUSIC:

TRANSITION ... THEN BEHIND SPADE--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) To make sure we were both thinking of the same thing to do, I followed her in the dark, watched her get into the car I rented from you, and drive off. Then I turned around, put a new clip in my gun, and walked back to the old homestead. (SOUND: SPADE'S STEPS THROUGH FRONT DOOR WHICH OPENS AND SHUTS) It was still very homey. By the light of an oil lamp, Mrs. Elkins was peacefully knitting what looked like a shroud.

MAUDE:

Why, Mr. Spade!

SPADE:

(DRY) Why, Mrs. Elkins!

MAUDE:

Land sakes.

SPADE:

(DRY) Land sakes. Now that we got that out of the way, let's get down to business.

MAUDE:

If you're here to make trouble, young man, believe me, I can handle trouble. My kind of stock know about trouble.

SPADE:

Well, er, suppose you tell me about the trouble I just had. Or haven't you heard all the shots that were fired around here tonight?

MAUDE:

Shots?! My, my.

SPADE:

(DRY) My, my.

MAUDE:

Seems I would have heard gunshots.

SPADE:

Seems you would. Look, er, I've got a sheriff on the way.

MAUDE:

Have you, Mr. Spade? Why?

SPADE:

I suppose you didn't hear the shooting.

MAUDE:

Oh, yes, yes. I'd forgotten. Was anyone hurt?

SPADE:

A man named Lyndon. He's dead.

MAUDE:

Lyndon? Lyndon? Now that sounds familiar.

SPADE:

It should. He stayed here five nights ago. He was a jewelry salesman.

MAUDE:

Yes! Yes, now I remember. You say he's dead?

SPADE:

Somebody tried to bury him alive in your little cave.

MAUDE:

How awful. I do declare.

SPADE:

I thought you would. Well?

MAUDE:

You must be joshing, Mr. Spade.

SPADE:

I'm not joshing at all, Mrs. Elkins.

MAUDE:

Well, well. Buried alive, you say?

SPADE:

(EXHALES) Look, let's talk just like plain folks. Where's your husband? (NO ANSWER) Where's the jewelry samples you probably stole from Lyndon? (NO ANSWER) Is there anything else you want to say?

MAUDE:

Gunshots, eh? Well, well.

MUSIC:

TRANSITION ... THEN IN BG--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) I left the sweet old thing knitting and rocking, and made my way through the house looking for guns, jewelry, and killers.

SOUND:

GUNSHOT! WINDOW GLASS SHATTERS! ... SPADE'S RUNNING STEPS DOWN STAIRS

SPADE:

(NARRATES) I got downstairs in time to see Mrs. Elkins disappear out the front door. When I tried to follow, I stumbled over the rocking chair, (SOUND: SPADE STUMBLES INTO CHAIR AND FALLS) which was indeed a lucky thing for me.

SOUND:

GUNSHOT! WINDOW GLASS SHATTERS!

SPADE:

(NARRATES) After a few minutes of silence, bravely crawling on my stomach, I followed the shadows of the house until they blended into the shadows of a large hulking building which happened to be the barn. Inside, I bumped my head on the radiator of a car. Naturally, I didn't find any keys in it. But I did find a familiar jewelry salesman-type mud-soaked corpse.

MUSIC:

UP FOR ACCENT ... THEN IN BG--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) When I was trying to remember how to cross ignition wires, I heard the hum of a motor and saw two headlight beams swinging up the driveway.

SOUND:

DURING ABOVE, CAR APPROACHES ... TWO GUNSHOTS! HEADLIGHT GLASS SHATTERS! ... CAR SCREECHES TO A HALT

SPADE:

(NARRATES) They lasted as long as any other lights. The car came to a lurching stop and a thick-set figure in a Stetson hat stumbled towards me tugging at a gun.

MUSIC:

OUT BEHIND--

SOUND:

SHERIFF'S STEPS STUMBLING STEPS APPROACH

SHERIFF:

(CUSSING ANGRILY) Dad-burned, gol'-blamed cussed thing! I--

SPADE:

(CALMLY) Undo the flap.

SHERIFF:

Oh, thanks. Huh? Put your hands up, whoever you are!

SPADE:

You'd be the sheriff?

SHERIFF:

You're dad-blamed right I'm the sheriff!

SPADE:

Ssh! Sh! Sh! Sh!

SHERIFF:

(QUIETLY) You're dad-blamed right I'm the sheriff. Who are you? What's the idea of shootin' the lights out on my car?

SPADE:

(CORRECTS HIM) My car.

SHERIFF:

Oh. You Slade?

SPADE:

(CORRECTS HIM) Spade.

SHERIFF:

Well, I'm Homer Pickett, sheriff of this county.

SPADE:

Oh?

SHERIFF:

A girl come, woke me up, said all sorts of funny things going on around here. Said there'd been a murder. Now who's killed? What's going on, Stan?

SPADE:

(CORRECTS HIM) Sam. Well, for one thing, somebody's been trying all sorts of ammunition on me for size.

SHERIFF:

You don't say?

SPADE:

I do say, Mr. Sheriff.

SHERIFF:

Why?

SPADE:

Because I found a man in a cave who'd been left there to die.

SHERIFF:

Want to look at the corpse.

SPADE:

You can look at him right here. He's sitting in this car.

SOUND:

STEPS TO THE CAR

SHERIFF:

Oh, lord. So, he is. How'd he get here?

SPADE:

Somebody moved him here.

SHERIFF:

Shouldn't 'a' move a corpse till the police examine it!

SPADE:

I didn't move it.

SHERIFF:

Hah?

SPADE:

Now listen closely-- Listening?

SHERIFF:

Hah?

SPADE:

I found the man. He was still alive. Then somebody shot him.

SHERIFF:

Shouldn't have moved him.

SPADE:

Then they tried to kill me, because I found him. When they didn't kill me, they decided to hide his body.

SHERIFF:

Illegal.

SPADE:

They probably intended to drive away and dispose of it, so there'd be no evidence -- when an efficient, smart, alert, courageous police officer like yourself came around to ask questions.

SHERIFF:

Hey, thanks. That sounds reasonable. Who's behind all this?

SPADE:

Well, Mrs. Elkins threatened me once and tried to kill me once.

SHERIFF:

Maude?! Well, land sakes.

SPADE:

That's her, yes.

SHERIFF:

I want to talk to her. Where's she?

SPADE:

Roaming the countryside with a gun, no doubt.

SHERIFF:

Well, we'll have to clear all this up; see what it's all about. Now, who's this fella in the car?

SPADE:

His name's James Lyndon.

SHERIFF:

Got a pencil? Better write that down. Tilden, huh?

SPADE:

(CORRECTS HIM) Lyndon. Well, by any strange coincidence, Sheriff, d'you happen to know a man named Dundy, San Francisco Homicide?

SHERIFF:

Lieutenant Dundy! Old Tom!

SPADE:

"Old Tom" yet.

SHERIFF:

Shucks, I learned everything I know about police work from him.

SPADE:

Yeah, well, that figures.

SHERIFF:

And law's law, Dundy always said.

SPADE:

I've heard him say it, Sheriff, but--

SHERIFF:

And I aim to enforce it around here. One side, Mr. Slade.

SOUND:

SHERIFF'S STEPS TOWARD HOUSE, IN BG--

SPADE:

(CORRECTS HIM) Spade. Hey! (DISSUASIVE) Uh-uh-uh, you'll be sorry. (NO RESPONSE) Well.

SOUND:

AFTER A HALF DOZEN STEPS, SHERIFF STOPS ... THEN--

SHERIFF:

(CALLS) All right! Now, look here, all you Elkins! This is Homer Pickett talkin'! And I ain't no small town constable! I'm the sheriff of this county! You'll get a square deal from me! But first I order you in the name of the law to throw down your guns! (NO RESPONSE) Well?!

SOUND:

GUNSHOT! ... SHERIFF'S HURRIED STEPS BACK TO SPADE--

SHERIFF:

(FLUSTERED NOISES AS HE RUNS) My!

SOUND:

STEPS OUT

SPADE:

You all right?

SHERIFF:

(DISAPPOINTED) Nothin' but my feelings hurt. Oh, my, my.

SPADE:

I warned you.

SHERIFF:

I thought that'd do some good.

SPADE:

Well, now you know. (SEES SOMETHING) Hey, look. Maybe it did do some good.

MAUDE:

(CALLS, FROM OFF) I'm giving up, Sheriff! I'm giving up! It's me, Mrs. Elkins!

MUSIC:

ACCENT ... THEN IN BG--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) She came across the farmyard as the first light was showing in the eastern sky. Her hands were above her head. One held a shotgun.

BERT:

(CALLS, FROM OFF) Maude! Get back where you belong, Maude!

SPADE:

(NARRATES) We could hear, but we couldn't see him. Maude stopped, hesitated for a moment, and then began running towards us.

SOUND:

MAUDE'S HURRIED STEPS, IN BG

SPADE:

(NARRATES) She almost made it.

SOUND:

TWO GUNSHOTS!

MAUDE:

(AS SHE IS STRUCK) No!

MUSIC:

UP FOR ACCENT ... THEN BEHIND SPADE--

SOUND:

SPADE'S STEPS AS HE RUNS OUT AND HURRIEDLY DRAGS MAUDE BACK TO THE BARN, IN BG--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) I ran out to drag her back, expecting any second to be the target for the night. There was a sudden and curious silence as I pulled her into the barn. She was still alive.

MAUDE:

(UNNERVED) Land sakes. That man's been missing everybody all night. Never thought he'd be able to hit me.

SPADE:

(SOOTHING) Easy.

MAUDE:

I come from good stock. I'm no criminal, Mr. Spade. Sheriff, you know that.

SHERIFF:

Yeah, I know, Maud; I know.

SPADE:

Let me take a look at you. (BEAT) You'll be okay.

MAUDE:

(BROKENLY) Don't blame Bert too much. He wanted to have money once in his life. So when this man came along with all the jewelry, Bert went out of his mind, I guess. He put the man in the cave. And the dog, too. So's the dog wouldn't call attention to him. And then he took the man's car. Went into San Francisco to try to sell the jewels in the underworld.

SPADE:

No luck, huh?

MAUDE:

Bert says they laughed at him. The jewels were just paste. Samples.

SPADE:

And he came back and found me at the cave and he figured he had to knock us both off.

MAUDE:

I'd 'a' stuck by him all the way. Now he's like a tiger that's smelt blood. No telling what he'll do.

SHERIFF:

We'll have to get help, Spade -- roadblocks, bloodhounds.

MAUDE:

No! No, this is his land. He won't run. He'll hide here.

SHERIFF:

Where?

MAUDE:

(AS IF IT WERE OBVIOUS) Why, in the cave!

MUSIC:

UP FOR ACCENT ... THEN IN BG--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) Well, I reasoned, one, that no matter how much a man loved his land, he was not going to let himself be trapped in a cave with only one exit, and, two, it followed, therefore, that if he did hide in the cave, there was more than one way out, which the late Lyndon hadn't found. Sheriff Pickett volunteered to watch the front of the cave while I looked around for a rear exit. After a twenty-minute search which netted me nothing, I remembered the car parked inside the barn and how quickly Elkins had carried Lyndon's body to it. I went back there and took a look around. (SOUND: SPADE'S STEPS, IN AGREEMENT WITH FOLLOWING--) In a corner of the barn, I found a trail of dirt leading to a bale of hay. When I moved the bale, (SOUND: HAY BALE MOVED) I found -- you guessed it -- a trap door. (SOUND: CREAKY TRAP DOOR OPENS) I pulled it open, caught a familiar whiff of used-up air and lowered myself into a black hole that turned out to be a passageway. (SOUND: SPADE'S STEPS ON DIRT, IN AGREEMENT WITH FOLLOWING--) I cautiously made my way forward in the darkness for a few yards.

BERT:

(NERVOUSLY, OFF) Who is it? (NO ANSWER) Who is it?

SOUND:

TWO GUNSHOTS! ... BEAT, THEN BERT'S STEPS APPROACH IN BG--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) I pressed back against the dirt wall, listening to him approach. When I figured he was close enough, I threw a clod of dirt toward him across the passageway.

SOUND:

CLOD OF DIRT THROWN ... TWO GUNSHOTS!

SPADE:

(NARRATES) His gun flashed and lit up the whole place for a second and I fired three times at the silhouette.

SOUND:

THREE GUNSHOTS!

BERT:

(SCREAMS AS HE HIS STRUCK)

SPADE:

(NARRATES) I waited. Then I went towards him. (SOUND: SPADE'S STEPS ON DIRT) He was lying on his back. I kicked his gun away (SOUND: GUN KICKED AWAY IN DIRT) and when I bent over him to feel his pulse, he suddenly came to life.

BERT:

(HOLLERS)

SOUND:

AS BERT RISES AND SCUFFLES WITH SPADE ... THEN IN BG--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) Something crashed against the side of my head and everything became darker than the inside of the cave.

MUSIC:

UP, FOR A DOWNWARD SPIRAL INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS ... THEN BEHIND SPADE--

SPADE:

(NARRATES) The next thing I knew, I was looking at a pair of red-rimmed eyes. Several minutes had gone by.

MUSIC:

OUT

SHERIFF:

Thought you was a goner for sure. You ain't used to this country fighting, are you?

SPADE:

(GROGGY) Is this country liquor, Sheriff?

SHERIFF:

Yeah.

SPADE:

Gimme.

SHERIFF:

Here.

SOUND:

SCRAPE OF BOTTLE SLID OVER TO SPADE, WHO PICKS IT UP

SPADE:

(DRINKS DEEPLY, THEN COUGHS VIOLENTLY)

SHERIFF:

(LAUGHS AT SPADE)

SOUND:

BOTTLE SET DOWN

SPADE:

Yeah, country liquor. Tell me, Sheriff, did you by any chance--?

SHERIFF:

Why, sure! 'Course I did. I got him, Slade.

MUSIC:

FOR A CONCLUSION

SPADE:

Period. End of report.

EFFIE:

(DISBELIEF) Sam!

SPADE:

Hmm?

EFFIE:

Do you mean to tell me you let a little country sheriff outdo you?

SPADE:

Well, Effie, Homer Pickett's coming up for reelection next fall. And besides, you might think I was egotistical if I told you how it really ended.

EFFIE:

But your reputation! You're the greatest private detective of 'em all.

SPADE:

And so I can afford to be generous. Now, not another word. Scoot. Type that up.

EFFIE:

(FLUSTERED NOISES)

MUSIC:

THEME ... FOR BRIEF CURTAIN

ANNOUNCER:

If your supply of Wildroot Cream-Oil Hair Tonic is getting low, better make a note to get some more tonight or first thing tomorrow. Remember, Wildroot Cream-Oil is the famous hair tonic that grooms your hair neatly and naturally, relieves dryness, removes loose dandruff. Always keep a big bottle or tube on hand, and ask your barber for a professional application of Wildroot Cream-Oil Hair Tonic. Again and again, the choice of men -- and women and children, too.

MUSIC:

TAG

SOUND:

EFFIE'S HURRIED STEPS APPROACH

EFFIE:

Here it is, Sam.

SPADE:

Let me see.

SOUND:

SHUFFLE OF PAPERS BEHIND--

SPADE:

Let's see here. (PAUSE, SURPRISED) Eff! You rewrote the ending.

EFFIE:

I had to, Sam. You're much too modest.

SPADE:

(READS) "And Sam Spade, with a knot of cold fury in the pit of his stomach, a vindictive fire in his eyes, stepped wearily over the loose rocks on the cave floor to do battle with the thing that loomed up in the darkness ahead."

EFFIE:

(CHUCKLES)

SPADE:

(READS) "The thing's roar filled the night with terror. But Sam Spade, dauntless and knowing not fear, stepped up to the monster, laughed in its hairy face, and with one quick convulsion of his powerful shoulder muscles dropped the thing in its tracks." (TO EFFIE) I see. Well, is that the way you think it ended, Effie?

EFFIE:

Oh, Sam, I guess I was being a little foolish. I'll change it.

SPADE:

No. No, as long as you've done it this way, we'll leave it this way. Can't waste paper.

EFFIE:

No, no. I'll change it, Sam.

SPADE:

(SAVAGELY) Leave it!

EFFIE:

(STARTLED) Oh! (BEAT, QUIETLY) Sam?

SPADE:

Yeah.

EFFIE:

(LIGHTLY APOLOGETIC) I copied that ending out of an old Black Mask magazine.

SPADE:

You what?

EFFIE:

(BEAT) Don't be mad!

SPADE:

(INTENSELY) Come here. Come here!

EFFIE:

(SQUEALS AND SIGHS QUIETLY AS SPADE FORCIBLY KISSES HER)

MUSIC:

SNEAKS IN ... A GENTLE VERSION OF 1931 SONG "GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART" BY RAY NOBLE, JIMMY CAMPBELL & REG CONNELLY ... IN BG

SPADE:

(BEAT) I copied that out of an old Whiz Bang.

EFFIE:

(PLEASED, AMUSED) Oh, Sam. (CHUCKLES) Good night. (CHUCKLES)

SPADE:

(LIGHTLY) Good night, sweetheart.

MUSIC:

"GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART" ... UP FOR A BIG FINISH ... THEN OUT

ANNOUNCER:

THE ADVENTURES OF SAM SPADE are produced and directed by William Spier. Sam Spade is played by Howard Duff. Lurene Tuttle is Effie.

MUSIC:

CLOSING THEME ... "GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART" ... THEN BEHIND ANNOUNCER, OUT BY [X]--

ANNOUNCER:

Tonight's adventure with Sam Spade was written for radio by John Michael Hayes and E. Jack Neuman. Musical direction by Lud Gluskin with score composed by Pierre and René Garriguenc. Join us again next Sunday when producer William Spier presents another adventure with Sam Spade, brought to you by Wildroot Cream-Oil. [X] Again and again, the choice of men -- and women and children, too. This is Dick Joy speaking. Here's an exciting new shampoo that's grand for all the family. And here's our own Squeaky to tell you about it.

MUSIC:

FOR JINGLE, IN BG--

SQUEAKY:

(SINGS)
Look at your hair. Is it stringy and dull?
Does it only cover your skull?
The Wildroot Liquid Cream Shampoo
Is just the thing for girls like you.
Gleams your hair, know what I mean?
And leaves your hair squeaky clean.

ANNOUNCER:

Squeaky clean?

SQUEAKY:

(SINGS) Squeaky clean!
Wildroot Liquid Cream Shampoo.

MUSIC:

JINGLE OUT ... THEN "GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART" ... FILLS A PAUSE ... OUT BEHIND NBC ANNCR--

NBC ANNCR:

Stay tuned for the SUMMER SYMPHONY with Kathryn Grayson on NBC.

MUSIC:

NBC CHIMES