Generic Radio Workshop Script Library (BACK)

Series: Amos and Andy
Show: Episode 1250
Date: Mar 24 1932

LORD & THOMAS AND LOGAN INC. Radio Division

919 North Michigan Avenue -- Chicago, Ill.  Telephone SUPerior 4800

Advertiser: The Pepsodent Company   Program Title: Amos 'n' Andy

Chicago Outlet: WMAQ           Time: 10:00-10:15 P. M.

Date: Mar. 24               Day: Thursday

Opening:

BILL HAY. Thursday night, March 24th. Amos 'n' Andy in person.

MUSIC. Orchestra

BILL HAY. Modern scientists demand facts. They believe nothing else. The scientists in the Pepsodent tooth paste laboratories had proved certain facts. They knew that Pepsodent removed certain dangerous films on teeth better than any other tooth paste. But they wanted to improve Pepsodent tooth paste still more. And, they have.

By a remarkable achievement, the Pepsodent laboratories have developed a polishing material that is twice as soft as the polishing material commonly used in tooth pastes. Teeth are given a higher polish, a brighter luster. Film stains are removed with absolute safety. This new polishing material has been used in Pepsodent for the past ten months. Many thousands have already noticed results. Not only an improvement in other tooth pastes, but even an improvement over the former Pepsodent.

But Pepsodent laboratories will not rest here. They are constantly seeking new improvements. The spirit of today is progress. Use Pepsodent tooth paste twice a day. See your dentist at least twice a year.

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Thurs. Mar. 24, 1932.

"AMOS AND ANDY"
by
Correll and Gosden

No. 1250

The wrestling match between Bullneck Mooseface and Andrew H. Brown was won by Bullneck with two straight falls. The first fall taking 46 minutes, the second fall taking 21 seconds. Andy was hardly able to return to the ring for the second fall. As the scene opens now the time is 12 o'clock noon. We find Andy in bed, Amos standing over him rubbing him with liniment. Here they are:--

Amos---Do dis hurt?

Andy---Take it easy Amos---ev'ything hurts.

Amos---Well, you is full o' liniment now. I got it all over yo'.

Andy---How many bottles is dat we is used?

Amos---Dat's de 3rd bottle.

Andy---You got mo', ain't yo'?

Amos---I got one more bottle left.

Andy---Put dat on me an' send out an' git some mo'. Oh me. EASY--Easy Amos.

Amos---Well, I'se rubbin' yo' easy. Yo' gotta rub dis stuff in to do yo' any good.

Andy---Even if I'd won de thing, I wouldn't wanna be no wrastleh. When de next man dat says anything to me 'bout wrastlin'---if I ain't able to hit him, I goin' git somebody else to hit him.

Amos---Well, I glad de thing is over Andy. I know yo' done de best yo' could, but don't fo'git dis, dat Bullneck Mooseface is a wrastler--dat's de way he makes his livin', an' you didn't know nuthin' 'bout it.

Andy---Didn't take me long to rescoveh dat I didn't know nuthin' 'bout it.

Knock on door.

Andy---See who dat is.

Amos---(in distance) Who is it?

King---(far distance) De Kingfish.

Amos---Well, come in Kingfish.

King---Hello Amos---hello Andy, how yo' feel?

Andy---(fading in) Worse dan I done eveh feeled.

King---Well Andy, it didn't work out right, but you tried hard.

Andy---Yeh.

Amos---Andy is kind-a all in today. I been rubbin' him all mornin'.

King---Whut hurts yo' Andy?

Andy---Ev'rything---I is 'sprained all oveh from head to foot.

King---Well, I know you went through a tough match last night,

Amos---Yeh, we had a hard time gittin' him back fo' de second fall.

Andy---My foot is sprained, my knee is sprained, my legs an' my arms is sprained--even my head is sprained.

Amos---You just think dey is---dey ain't nuthin' de matter wid yo'---you is just got sore muscles.

King---Oh, you'll be alright.

Andy---An' whut was stuff dat I kept eatin' last night off de mat? I must-a et a pound o' dat,---whut was it?

King---Dat was rosin. Dey made a mistake an' put rosin on de mat---dat kind-a scratched yo' up too, didn't it?

Andy---I didn't feel de scratchin' but my face was always in it--my nose an' my mouth.

Amos---Whut's in de paper? ---anything 'bout it?

King---Yes, dat's whut I wanna read yo'.

Andy---Yeh, whut do it say?

King---Starts out by sayin' on de headlines sayin'--"Large Crowd sees one-sided match." I think de man dat writ dis is mad wid us.

Andy---Yeh, don't let nobody be friends wid us.

King---Lemme git my specks on heah, I'll read dis.

Amos---Hold still Andy, I'll rub yo' while he's readin' it.

Andy---Rub my back, Amos.

Amos---Go ahead, Kingfish----sit right down dere on de edge of de bed.

King---Says heah "Bullneck Mooseface, colored world's heavy weight wrastlin' champion threw Andrew H. Brown in two straight falls last night at de Mystic Knights of de Sea lodge hall, the first fall taking 46 minutes, second fall taking 21 seconds. Bullneck Mooseface threw his man the first time with a body scissors and combination reverse wrist lock."

Andy---He's wrong. He fo'got to say in dere dat he was bitin' me an' kickin' me an' had his elbow in my face an' ev'ything else too---an' dat I was out o' wind.

King---Yeh, dis reporter dat writ dis thing was pullin' fo' Bullneck.

Amos---Go ahead Kingfish, read some more.

King---Den it say heah "De second fall came in 21 seconds with a head lock. Brown, who apparently knows nothing about wrastling proved to be a very poor match for the champion. It seems to me that local promoters would be careful in at least finding SOMEONE who could give the audience a good show. The writer, seated at the ringside, could hear Brown ask the referee to stop the match. He also called several times to his second in the corner to throw in sponges as a signal that he would forfeit the match."

Amos---I throwed 'em in.

Andy---Dat newspaper man is makin' 'em mad.

King---Den he goes on to say heah "Three sponges and a towel were thrown in the ring but were kicked aside by the referee who refused to stop the match. Bullneck Mooseface gave a fine exhibition of wrastling, using various holds at his will. We feel that last night's match will prove to Brown that he should quit the wrastling game. The two preliminary matches were more interesting." That's all he says.

Andy---Dat's enough.

Amos---Well, he cert'ny don't like you Andy.

Andy---Dat's whut I git, an' heah I is wid a sprained body.

King---I thought dat you was in better shape dan you was Andy.

Amos---You right--he wasn't in good shape.

Andy---Once or twice dere when de thing fust started I tried to lay down on my back but Bullneck wouldn't even lemme do dat. Den he was squeezin' de wind out of me an' I was hollerin' at me an' he put his hand oveh my mouth. I ain't goin' neveh wrastle nobody else---Neveh! (whistles) Is I so'.

Amos---I'se 'fraid to rub yo' too much on one spot. Turn over. Whut else hurts?

Andy---Ev'ything---wherever you lay yo' hand, just start rubbin'.

King---Well brother Andy, we gotta learn dese things from resperience. Dat's de greatest school in de world.

Andy---Don't worry----I went to college las' night, an' I done got my REploma, an' I ain't neveh goin' back to de same school no' mo'.

Amos---I know just how yo' feel.

King---I didn't know dat Bullneck WAS such a good wrastleh.

Andy---Why didn't yo'-all tell me dat I was goin' wrastle a giant.

Amos---Show de Kingfish yo' feet.

Andy---Yeh, look at dem.

King---Well---whut is yo' got yo' toes wrapped up about?

Andy---Where he twisted 'em an' stepped on 'em, an' ev'ything else. I think he done broke 2 o' my toes. De little toe on dat right foot ain't neveh goin' be no mo' good.

King---It's a shame dat we couldn't git de toe-hold barred.

Amos---Yeh, it's a shame alright.

Andy---It's a shame dat we couldn't git de whole match barred.

King---I want yo' to know though Andy dat you went through it like a man. I know you done de best yo' could an' I just left de execk committee at de lodge hall an' dey wants me to give you dey're thanks an' all dat bizness, an' dey send you dey're sympathy.

Andy---Dey do huh?

Amos---Gimme yo' other leg---lemme rub on dat a while.

Andy---Yeh, just keep rubbin', don't stop.

Amos---Move dat leg over on dis side.

Andy---I can't---you pick it up. I can't even move it.

King---Now, brother Andy, I got some bad news fo' yo'.

Andy---Now, wait a minute Kingfish, 'fore yo' gimme de bad news, how did we come out wid de money on de match?

King---Dat's de bad news.

Amos---Sure 'nuf Kingfish?

Andy---How much do I gits?

King---Well, now, 'cordin' to de contract, de winner was to git 95 percent, an' de loser 5.

Amos---Yeh, dat's right, I 'member dat---95 an' 5.

King---Well you know dat Bullneck Mooseface won de match an' he got de 95, an' 95 percent is practical ev'ything.

Andy---He got dat already huh?

King---Oh yes---he got his money an' he's gone out o' town.

Andy---He's got it an' gone huh?

Amos---Well, whut happened to de 5 percent Kingfish?

King---Well, de 5 percent just took care of de respenses but Bullneck Mooseface's manager left you a little present an' he told me to give it to yo'. Heah is a 'luminum cigarette case wid his best wishes. He said he would have had yo' name put in it, but he didn't have time.

Andy---I gits dis huh?

Amos---Dat's light as a feather, ain't it?

King---De reason I got de rubber band around it is cause dat ketch is broke on it an' yo' can't close it.

Andy---Yeh---I see 'tis. Dis case must feel like I do.

Amos---Whut happened to de popularry contest Kingfish?

King---Dat was a fizzle.

Andy---'Twas huh?

King---So--dey paid de lodge hall de rent, sent you de cigarette case, de popularry contest was a fizzle, an' de whole thing is over. But Andy, I wanna tell yo' as a brother dat you was alright an' my only revice to you is not to wrastle no more. I gotta run over an' see a fellow 'bout a big deal, an' if it works out alright I'll let yo' in on it. 'Scuse me fo' rushin' boys, but I'll git in touch wid yo' in a day or two. So long.

Amos---So long Kingfish.

Andy---Easy dere Amos---don't rub so hard. Um--um--um.

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Closing:

BILL HAY: (ad lib)

BILL HAY: To help prevent colds, gargle and spray the nose with Pepsodent Antiseptic. Even when diluted with two parts of water, Pepsodent Antiseptic will kill germs in less than ten seconds. In the interest of economy, and to protect your health, use Pepsodent Antiseptic...and make one dollar do the work of three dollars in fighting germs, colds, and bad breath.

MUSIC: Orchestra.

BILL HAY: Amos 'n' Andy in person will return tomorrow night at this hour. Pepsodent bids you all good night. This is Bill Hay speaking.

SIGNOFF: This program has come to you from the NBC studios.

(Chimes)