Generic Radio Workshop Script Library (BACK)

Series: Romance
Show: The Way to the Castle
Date: Sep 25 1954

CAST:

The CBS Team:
ANNOUNCER
CBS ANNCR (1 line)

The Drama:
CASANOVA, the great lover
PAULETTE, his conquest
ANNA, the cook
ALGAROTTI, the Count
LORD, of the castle (1 snore)

MUSIC:

DRUM ROLL

ANNOUNCER:

Now, from Hollywood -- ROMANCE!

MUSIC:

THEME ... FADES OUT BEHIND--

CASANOVA:

I could smell that wonderful odor of plowed earth and fresh-cut hay. I opened my eyes and saw her, bending over me. Her skin clear as fine olive oil, her cheeks pink and brown like blushing ivory. And her eyes-- I put my arm around her and drew her close.

ANNOUNCER:

With Hans Conried as Casanova, we bring you, transcribed, Walter Brown Newman's story "The Way to the Castle."

MUSIC:

UNDERSTATED HORNS ... FOR A NOBLE INTRODUCTION, PUNCTUATED BY A COMICAL TYMPANI ... THEN OUT

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) Milord? I've come to apologize. You visit this castle of yours to rest, not to hear complaint. But when your son makes fun of me or a servant is rude, I - I find it hard, milord.

No one here seems to understand who I am. They regard me merely as your librarian, an old fogey living on your bounty. It means nothing to them that - I am Casanova. Casanova -- who knew kings, discussed art with Voltaire, loved--!

(QUIETLY) Well, I apologize. To make amends, I - I thought perhaps a story before you sleep? One of my little adventures?

MUSIC:

UNOSTENTATIOUSLY LYRICAL

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) You must picture me as I was -- on a summer night in Rome, long ago -- alive, elegant, handsome as an Apollo; in short, Casanova.

I am standing on top of a ladder in the dark courtyard of a hotel.

You see, in a suite on the second floor, lives a girl, Paulette. (SAVORS THE MEMORY) Paulette -- a dancer, only seventeen, exquisite, a goddess! -- the most desirable woman in Rome! That week.

MUSIC:

GENTLY OUT BEHIND--

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) I boasted in the coffeehouses that before long, as a sign that she's mine, she'll give me the locket she wears on her breast.

SOUND:

NOCTURNAL BACKGROUND ... CHIRPING CRICKETS

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) And now I tap on her window.

SOUND:

TAPPING ON WINDOW ... BEAT, THEN WINDOW FLUNG OPEN

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES, PLEASED, EXPECTANT) It's flung open. The goddess speaks!

PAULETTE:

(EXPLODES, WITH A JARRINGLY LOW-CLASS ACCENT; HER VOICE AND MANNER NOT NEARLY AS BEAUTIFUL AS SHE) Get out o' here! Whaddya mean sneakin' around?! Whaddya doin' here?! Whaddya want?!

CASANOVA:

A kiss.

PAULETTE:

You got a nerve! Who are you?

CASANOVA:

(SIMPLY) My name is Jacques Casanova.

PAULETTE:

If I yell just one-- (REALIZES, IMPRESSED) Casanova! (DELIGHTED GASP AND SQUEAL) The Casanova?!

CASANOVA:

Your slave. This evening, I saw you dance at the theater--

PAULETTE:

Then you were there! They told me you were out front.

CASANOVA:

Only until you appeared. Then I was in Heaven.

PAULETTE:

Huh?! Oh! Oh, I see what you mean. You mean--

CASANOVA:

I mean, you danced like an angel.

PAULETTE:

(PETTY) Hah! Fat lot o' help I got doing it! That louse of an orchestra leader couldn't keep time! And the stage! If it wobbles tomorrow night I'm gonna spit right in the manager's eye. (INHALES, CHANGES GEAR) You really think I dance like an angel? Better than Nadja the Hungarian who was here in the spring?

CASANOVA:

Oh, there's no comparison; she moved like an elephant.

PAULETTE:

(PLAYFUL) Huh, I bet that's not what you told her! I heard about she and you. The duel you fought for her! (DELIGHTED SQUEAL) Oh, what a scandal! She packed the theater for weeks after that. You really think I'm better than her?

CASANOVA:

Infinitely. I came here to tell you so, but when I got to your door, I found it guarded by the most enormous brute.

PAULETTE:

(MERRY) Oh ho! That's Beppo. Count Algarotti puts him there whenever he's not with me.

CASANOVA:

Oh, yes; it's known that Algarotti admires your -- art.

PAULETTE:

He's my, uh-- (CLEARS THROAT) My, uh, patron. He's very rich.

CASANOVA:

Paulette, don't keep me out here; let me in.

PAULETTE:

Can't. He's coming, any minute; you'd better go.

CASANOVA:

Go? When my blood's on fire? Put your hand here. Feel how my heart is beating.

PAULETTE:

(THRILLED) Ooohhh, it's really pounding!

CASANOVA:

And your heart is--

PAULETTE:

(DON'T YOU DARE, BUT PLAYFUL) Uh uh uh uh uh.

SOUND:

SHE SLAPS HIS HAND AWAY

PAULETTE:

Naughty!

CASANOVA:

Oh, I must see you. Tomorrow night?

PAULETTE:

(COY) Mmmmmmmmmm -- maybe.

CASANOVA:

I'll be down below. When it's safe, put a lighted lamp in this window.

SOUND:

KNOCK AT DOOR

PAULETTE:

Ooh, there he is now! Go -- go, go, go, go, go!

CASANOVA:

Kiss me, Paulette.

PAULETTE:

Oh, you're all alike -- kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. You can kiss my hand. But hurry!

CASANOVA:

(ROMANTIC SIGH) Such a lovely hand. (KISS) Goodbye, beauty.

PAULETTE:

Be careful you don't fall.

MUSIC:

LYRICAL, IN BG

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) She shut the window and, before she drew the curtain, smiled. It caught at my throat, that smile. Her nose wrinkled so adorably and her teeth were so dainty and white -- like a child's! My head was in the stars as I started down the ladder.

MUSIC:

DESCENDING HARP GLISSANDO ... THEN OUT BEHIND--

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) And, as usual, when my head was in the stars, my feet went astray. I tripped over my sword halfway down and--

SOUND:

THE GREAT LOVER FALLS OFF HIS LADDER

MUSIC:

COMICAL TYMPANI! FOR PUNCTUATION

ANNA:

(SHOCKED) Mamma Dea!

CASANOVA:

Ssh! Keep your voice down!

ANNA:

Mamma Dea! Who are you -- a thief?

CASANOVA:

(NASTY) Shut up or I'll tear your tongue out!

ANNA:

(WRY) Ohhh! A gentleman! (BEAT) You fell from the ladder?

CASANOVA:

I said, shut up.

ANNA:

(IRONIC) Oh, sure! "Shut up"! A man almost falls on my head; I can't say a word! Do you realize, one foot closer--?

CASANOVA:

(QUIETLY, IN PAIN) My side.

ANNA:

What?

CASANOVA:

I think I tore a muscle.

ANNA:

(SYMPATHETIC) Oh. (NO NONSENSE) Unbutton the shirt; let me see.

CASANOVA:

No, no, no, I'm fine.

ANNA:

(INSISTS) Unbutton the shirt.

CASANOVA:

I said, I don't want to.

ANNA:

Two husbands I buried. Do you think a man's body's a mystery to me? Take your hand away; I'll do it.

CASANOVA:

(SIGHS)

ANNA:

(AS SHE UNBUTTONS HIS SHIRT) Why were you on the ladder?

CASANOVA:

I was visiting a lady.

ANNA:

Why not use the stairs? Never mind; I can guess. Count Algarotti's little one, uh?

CASANOVA:

(PUZZLED) You know her? Who are you?

ANNA:

Anna, the cook here at the hotel. I see her every day.

CASANOVA:

Well, never mind the shirt; I feel better.

ANNA:

No, one more button. (SHE GASPS AS--)

SOUND:

SHE OPENS THE GREAT LOVER'S SHIRT

ANNA:

(BEAT, AMUSED SURPRISE) A corset?!

CASANOVA:

(MUTTERS DISAGREEABLY)

ANNA:

You wear a corset?! (LAUGHS AND LAUGHS) So that's why you wouldn't unbutton-- (LAUGHS AND LAUGHS)

CASANOVA:

Shut up. Stop laughing.

ANNA:

(STILL LAUGHING) Oh ho! Don't worry, I won't tell her!

CASANOVA:

Stop laughing, I said!

ANNA:

(LAUGHTER WINDS DOWN TO A TITTER) Excuse me. I'm from Sorrento. We laugh like anything in Sorrento. (MORE SERIOUS) Oh, one of the stays is bent; that's what's hurting. Let me straighten it. (EXHALES) There.

CASANOVA:

(GRUMBLES)

ANNA:

Now, take my advice, mister. Next time you make love, use a shorter ladder and a looser corset -- or you'll kill yourself. (STARTS TITTERING AGAIN, THEN LAUGHS LONG AND LOUD DURING--)

CASANOVA:

Oh, go to the Devil!

SOUND:

THE GREAT LOVER STALKS AWAY

MUSIC:

TYMPANI ACCENT ... UNDERSTATED HORNS FOR A BRIEF NOBLE BRIDGE, WHICH ENDS WITH -- A COMICAL TYMPANI! FOR PUNCTUATION ... THEN LYRICAL IN BG, FADES OUT AT [X]

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) Late next night, I hurried to the hotel. In the courtyard, I found the cook sitting on the kitchen steps; I ignored her. Paulette's window was dark. Impatient, I paced back and forth.

SOUND:

NOCTURNAL BACKGROUND OF CHIRPING CRICKETS ... THE GREAT LOVER'S FOOTSTEPS PACE BACK AND FORTH IN THE DIRT COURTYARD ... THEN IN BG

ANNA:

[X] Nice night ---- huh, mister? (NO ANSWER) Oh, please don't be mad. I know I shouldn't have laughed at you.

CASANOVA:

(COOL) That's right. It really wasn't funny.

ANNA:

Oh, it was funny, but I'm sorry I laughed.

CASANOVA:

Are you sitting there waiting to be amused again?

ANNA:

No, just doing a little work before bed; shelling peas. See? Look, if you're mad because I learned you wear a corset, I'll give you a secret to hold over my head. (DEADPAN) Sometimes I wear one, too.

SOUND:

THE GREAT LOVER STOPS PACING

ANNA:

(CHUCKLES, FRIENDLY INVITATION) Come on, mister.

SOUND:

THE GREAT LOVER WALKS OVER AND JOINS HER ON THE STEP BEHIND--

CASANOVA:

(WON OVER) Well. Move over and give me a handful of those peas -- I'll help you. What'd you say your name was?

ANNA:

Anna. Anna Coletti. What's yours?

CASANOVA:

Casanova. Jacques Casanova.

ANNA:

Jacques! You French?

CASANOVA:

No. No, I was born in Venice. It's really Giacomo, but Jacques sounds more elegant.

ANNA:

(IMPRESSED) Giacomo! That was my first husband's name. I like it! Oh, he was a real man -- uncomplicated.

CASANOVA:

What happened to him?

ANNA:

Killed in the war. I married again, four months later, but he died, too -- of the plague, last year. You married?

CASANOVA:

The idea appalls me. Marriage is too certain.

ANNA:

Certain? Why, you never know what will happen. Believe me, not even an omelet comes out the same way twice. (BEAT) You keep looking up at that window.

CASANOVA:

When Miss Paulette puts a lighted lamp there, it will be safe for me to see her.

ANNA:

There is a thing I must tell you. Carlo the waiter told me this Count Algarotti is a bad man to cross. He's killed men in duels. Thought you should know.

CASANOVA:

Oh, I know. I duel, too. A gentlemen does, you know. (CHUCKLES) Last month, the authorities warned me it was prison if I did it again.

ANNA:

Why do you risk it?

CASANOVA:

Why? For the same reason I gamble or pursue women. It adds spice to life.

ANNA:

Your appetite is so dull, you need spice? And, for you, playing cards at the coffeehouses and being stabbed or stabbing someone else over Miss Paulette is spice? (SARCASTIC) Oh, interesting.

CASANOVA:

(MILDLY OFFENDED) Do you have to say things like that? Do you have to make it sound so - so pointless?

ANNA:

I'm a peasant. I was just trying to understand what your sort of life has to offer.

CASANOVA:

(AS IF IT WERE OBVIOUS) Why, it has everything to offer. I'm known to people who matter all over the world. Not just here in Rome, but in Paris, London, Vienna -- even Constantinople.

ANNA:

Mmmm.

CASANOVA:

Why, they tell stories about Casanova -- even royalty. I'm a legend!

ANNA:

Please, please, please. I wasn't criticizing. If it makes you happy--

CASANOVA:

(ANNOYED) Well, of course it makes me happy! Why shouldn't it? No man alive spends more time than I pursuing happiness! And how dare you question it -- you clod, you lump, you filth, you peasant!

ANNA:

Let me tell you something, mister. You may be the envy of every man on earth, but you remind me of an idiot who lives in my village. When he tries to catch fish, you know what he does? Like you, he runs after it. Like you, he makes a big splash! And he never catches even a minnow. I--!

CASANOVA:

(LOW) Quiet, quiet, quiet. Keep your voice down. She just put the lamp in the window. Do you want her to hear? (BEAT) Well, get out of here; I don't want to be spied upon.

ANNA:

Think I got nothin' better to do? I start work at daybreak. I'm going to sleep.

MUSIC:

LYRICAL, IN BG ... OUT AT [X]

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) She picked up her bowl of peas and went into the kitchen. I cursed her to myself for upsetting me. I waited a moment until I was calm, placed the ladder against the wall, put a smile on my face, and climbed to the window. [X]

SOUND:

NOCTURNAL BACKGROUND ... THE GREAT LOVER CLIMBS THE LADDER ... THE WINDOW OPENS

CASANOVA:

(SUAVE) Paulette, I almost died of impatience--

PAULETTE:

(EXPLODES) Do you know what that thick of a soubrette said?! That fat horse of a margherita?! She said she was the one you were smiling at tonight! Not me -- her! I told 'em all it was me, but they wouldn't believe it!

CASANOVA:

Of course it was you. I was smiling only at you.

PAULETTE:

(GIGGLES WITH DELIGHT) You know who saw you? Count Algarotti! He was so mad when he came backstage later.

CASANOVA:

Oh, the Devil with him. Where's he now? Out gambling?

PAULETTE: (EXTREMELY COY) Oh, I don't know. (PLAYFUL) Do you love me?

CASANOVA:

(ROMANTIC) Oh, I adore you. Let me come in.

PAULETTE:

Would you fight a duel for me? Like for the Hungarian?

CASANOVA:

(TAKEN ABACK) Duel--? Why do you ask? Do you think that--?

ALGAROTTI:

(OFF, FURIOUS) I knew it! I knew you were sneaking behind my back! I'll kill you for this! Come down, Casanova!

PAULETTE:

(HIGHLY UNCONVINCING) Oh, my! How could he have found out? (CALLS LOUDLY SO EVERYONE WILL HEAR) Pleeeease! Don't fight! Don't fight over Paulette! Don't make a scandal! (CONTINUES TO YELL INDECIPHERABLY IN BG)

ALGAROTTI:

Come on down! Keep coming, you swine! I'll kill you for this!

SOUND:

THE GREAT LOVER DESCENDS THE LADDER ... AND A STRAY DOG STARTS BARKING ... BEHIND--

ALGAROTTI:

I'll teach you to go behind my back! I'll kill you! I'll hack you to bits!

CASANOVA:

(CALM) At your service, milord.

ALGAROTTI:

(SAVAGELY) Ah!

SOUND:

BRIEF SWORD FIGHT COMMENCES ... STRAY DOG BARKS MADLY ... SWORD FIGHT ENDS WITH THE GREAT LOVER STABBING THE COUNT

ALGAROTTI:

(CHOKES, GURGLES)

SOUND:

ALGAROTTI'S BODY HITS THE GROUND ... DOG CONTINUES BARKING IN BG

ANNA:

Mamma Dea! You've killed him. You'll be arrested.

CASANOVA:

Quiet; let me think.

ANNA:

Is there somewhere you can hide?

CASANOVA:

(AS IF IT WERE OBVIOUS) No, everyone knows who I am.

ANNA:

Then come with me. (NO RESPONSE) Don't stand there like a donkey, come with me!

SOUND:

THEIR HURRIED FOOTSTEPS AWAY ... BARKING DOG FADES BEHIND--

CASANOVA:

(REALIZES) Paulette must have told him. I know it. She wants to be talked about. (CHUCKLES) Little devil! (MORE SERIOUS) I'm in trouble, though, if he's really dead.

SOUND:

CELLAR DOOR OPENS ... THEIR FOOTSTEPS IN ... DOOR CLOSES ... FOOTSTEPS OUT BEHIND--

CASANOVA:

He must have been blind with rage. He literally threw himself on my sword. I didn't mean to--

ANNA:

(DRY) No. No, you never mean to, do you?

CASANOVA:

Where are we?

ANNA:

In the hotel cellar. In my room. Here you would be safe.

MUSIC:

UNDERSTATED HORNS ... FOR A NOBLE FINISH, PUNCTUATED BY SERIOUS TYMPANI ... THEN OUT

ANNOUNCER:

This Monday night on CBS Radio's GUNSMOKE, Marshal Dillon tries to give a youngster, bent on going wrong, a helpful hand -- and comes close to getting it shot off. Don't miss GUNSMOKE, this Monday on most of these same stations. After this Monday's GUNSMOKE broadcast, the program moves to Saturday, starting October second.

Now for the second act of "The Way to the Castle" as we return to ROMANCE.

MUSIC:

UNDERSTATED HORNS ... FOR A NOBLE INTRODUCTION, PUNCTUATED BY A COMICAL TYMPANI ... THEN LYRICAL IN BG, OUT ABRUPTLY AT [X]

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) So, while I was hunted and Algarotti's life hung in the balance, I hid in Anna's room. It was as though I'd fallen through a trap-door into another world. Things happened to me there that had never happened before.

The first morning, half-asleep, I thought I was lying in a sunny field. I could smell that wonderful odor of plowed earth and fresh-cut hay. I opened my eyes and saw Anna bending over me. Her skin clear as fine olive oil, her cheeks pink and brown like blushing ivory. I put out an arm and drew her close. [X]

ANNA:

(GRUNTS)

SOUND:

SMACK! IN THE FACE

CASANOVA:

(REACTS TO SMACK)

ANNA:

Try it again and you get another smack in the face!

CASANOVA:

(GRUMBLES) I've known duchesses to be less prudish.

ANNA:

What prudish? When you act like a man, you can kiss me.

CASANOVA:

(OFFENDED) What do you mean--? What do you mean -- a man?

ANNA:

A man! A man who treats me like a woman. Not like a feather to tickle himself with or an olive to see if he's hungry! It - it takes two to make a kiss.

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) An original and curious point-of-view. But she had her way. She had her way in almost everything.

ANNA:

I made you some eggs mixed with veal--

CASANOVA:

All I take in the morning is a glass of vinegar.

ANNA:

(DISBELIEF) Wha--? Vinegar? Why?

CASANOVA:

Never mind. Just let me have it.

ANNA:

But tell me why. Come on. (NO RESPONSE) Well?

CASANOVA:

(RELUCTANT) Well, um-- I'm one of those persons-- Food goes-- (SNAPS) When I eat, I get fat! Now you know!

ANNA:

So? Get fat.

CASANOVA:

And my figure? What happens to that? Look, like a boy's.

ANNA:

How old are you? (NO ANSWER) Is it something to tell only in confession? How old are you?

CASANOVA:

(QUIETLY) Forty. I-- I'm forty.

ANNA:

Then why should you have a figure like a boy's? You drink vinegar for that? You're crazy.

CASANOVA:

It helps with the complexion, too; it keeps it pale. (BEAT) Well, why do you stare at me? Do you expect a gentleman to be brown, like a peasant?

ANNA:

(DRY) Oh, no. Pale. Like a corpse. (INDOMITABLE) But not while I'm cooking for you. Take off that corset.

CASANOVA:

What?

ANNA:

Give your stomach some room and forget that vinegar! You're going to eat!

SOUND:

ANNA PUTS FOOD ON SPOON

ANNA:

(WHISPERS ENTICINGLY) Just smell this. Lots of garlic.

CASANOVA:

(WITH DISTASTE) No, no, please-- (SIGHS) Please, take it away. (GIVES IN) All right, put some on the dish.

ANNA:

Here.

SOUND:

ANNA SPOONS SOME FOOD ON THE DISH

CASANOVA:

(BEAT) Such a little portion?

SOUND:

TRANSITIONAL PAUSE

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) And, after a while, I found myself speaking to her of things I had hidden from others most of my life.

ANNA:

(WARM, ENTHUSIASTIC) So, when my parents died, this little inn they owned went to my older sister. But soon she'll have to give it up. She's going to marry and live on a farm and then the inn will be mine and I'll go back to Sorrento-- (STOPS SHORT, APOLOGETIC) Oh, I'm talking your ear off.

CASANOVA:

(GENUINE) No. No, not at all.

ANNA:

Honest?

CASANOVA:

No.

ANNA:

You're nice, Giacomo.

CASANOVA:

(SHORT CHUCKLE)

ANNA:

I like many things about you. You tell funny stories and you laugh. You appreciate good food and good wine and you know the latest gossip--

CASANOVA:

Well, such are the qualities of a gentleman.

ANNA: I was going to say they're the marks of a born innkeeper.

CASANOVA:

(BEAT, PUZZLED) Innkeep--? (INCENSED) You pot-walloper! You suggest a gentleman--?!

ANNA:

Oh, shut up! You're no gentleman, Giacomo; you can't fool me.

CASANOVA:

(TAKEN ABACK) What makes you say that?

ANNA:

If you were truly of gentle blood, you'd be a gentleman without trying. But you spend so much time trying that-- You're not, are you?

CASANOVA:

(PAUSE, QUIETLY) You won't repeat this to anyone?

ANNA:

No.

CASANOVA:

Well-- I wasn't born a gentleman. My father was an actor, my mother was a shoemaker's daughter. We were very poor.

ANNA:

Oh.

CASANOVA:

I saw how good life is for people of quality. I determined to be one of them. I observed, imitated and finally succeeded. And when it comes to pleasing and flattering the great and influential, I am the equal of any gentleman in Europe! No gentleman is more agreeable and serviceable to the powers-that-be than I. And it pays. Dukes and Counts give me tips on the market, permit me to buy shares in state lotteries, invite me to their castles. In short ---- I belong.

ANNA:

(CHUCKLES)

CASANOVA:

Oh, it has its ups and downs, of course, and since a smile or a frown can make you or ruin you, you have to watch your step, but-- Why do you shake your head like that?

ANNA:

(WITH A SIGH) Ah, Giacomo. You remind me of Renato, an old man in my village. He spent a whole year learning how to spit through a knothole from across the room. Now he can do it every time; an accomplishment, and he's famous for it. But was it worth the trouble?

MUSIC:

HARP GLISSANDO ... FOR AN ACCENT ... THEN UNDERSTATED HORNS IN BG, OUT At [X]

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES, VERY HAPPY) And then, late one night, there was a knock at the door. It was Carlo the waiter with great news -- Count Algarotti was going to live! Had, in fact, just left by coach for his estates in Amalfi to recuperate. [X] The authorities were no longer searching for me and I was free to come and go as I pleased!

ANNA:

(DISAPPOINTED) You'll be leaving now, uh? (BEAT) I'll miss you.

CASANOVA:

(ROMANTIC) Oh, come here. Closer. Oh, closer, here.

ANNA:

(BREATHLESS) Yes. (INHALES, THEY EMBRACE AND KISS; OVERCOME WITH EMOTION) Oh, yes, Giacomo, yes, yes.

CASANOVA:

(MURMURS) Anna, Anna, Anna--

MUSIC:

LYRICAL, IN BG ... OUT AT [X]

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) And the following afternoon -- like one of those dolls that move by clockwork, wound up and driven by springs they themselves do not control -- I called upon Paulette. By the front door and the stairs, this time -- Beppo was gone, along with his master. She was overcome with joy to see me. [X]

PAULETTE:

(EXPLODES) Where have you been?! I looked all over for you! Why didn't you let me know where you were?! I almost went out of my mind!

CASANOVA:

(CHUCKLES, PLEASED) Missed me, did you?

PAULETTE:

Oh, sure I missed ya! Here's Algarotti cut down in a duel and I can't prove to nobody it was you that done it! I can't get these idiots to believe me when I tell them you and him fought a duel -- over me! They don't even believe it was a duel! They say he was stabbed by a thief or something.

CASANOVA:

Well, er-- This evening, then -- after your performance -- we'll visit every hotel and restaurant in the city, you and I, and I'll tell everyone exactly what happened.

PAULETTE:

Oh, I could kiss you for that!

CASANOVA:

Oh, Paulette. (PAUSE, FOR THE KISS) Paulette? Have I ever told you how much I like that little locket you wear?

MUSIC:

LYRICAL, THEN IN BG ... OUT BY [X]

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) I dined with friends and gambled for an hour, but found it very dull. I visited the coffeehouses and recounted the story of my fight with Algarotti. It amused everyone -- (EXHALES) -- but me. I felt restless. I went for a stroll and then, when it was time to meet Paulette, I went by chair to the hotel. I started up the front steps-- And then turned, and walked around to the back.

SOUND:

COURTYARD NOISE -- STRAY DOG BARKS ... HARNESS BELLS JANGLE ... MULES SHUFFLE ... CARTERS HOLLER

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) The yard was buzzing with activity. Some carters and a train of mules, their bells jangling, filled every corner. I looked for Anna in the kitchen, but they told me she was in her room. [X]

SOUND:

KNOCK AT DOOR

ANNA:

(BEHIND DOOR) Yes?

SOUND:

DOOR OPENS ... THEN FOOTSTEPS IN AND DOOR CLOSES (CUTTING OFF COURTYARD NOISE) BEHIND--

ANNA:

(PLEASED, BREATHLESS) Giacomo! Ohhh, I'm so glad to see you again! I have wonderful news for both of us. I was just going to look for you. Oh, I'm so happy!

CASANOVA:

You're packing. You're leaving?

ANNA:

You saw the mule train outside? Just in from Sorrento! And going back in a few minutes. And I'm going with them. And so are you!

CASANOVA:

Going? But--

ANNA:

My sister, remember? She's getting married, like I told you; I have to go take over the inn, you see. (NO RESPONSE) Well?

CASANOVA:

Well-- Well, what?

ANNA:

Giacomo! It's like a miracle from Heaven! You and me -- we can get married and run the inn together.

CASANOVA:

Run an inn? I?

ANNA:

Yes! It'll be easy! Giacomo, we-- (BEAT, REALIZES) What's the matter?

CASANOVA:

(STAMMERS) I can't just drop everything and bury myself somewhere in Sorrento and run a little inn. I--

ANNA:

(CONFUSED) But don't you love me? (STAMMERS) Last night--?

CASANOVA:

Oh, yes. Never doubt it. You - you're the only woman I ever have loved, but--

ANNA:

Then come with me!

CASANOVA:

No, listen, please--

ANNA:

No! Come with me! Now!

CASANOVA:

You don't understand--

ANNA:

I'm trying to! Look at me. This life you live is scheming and sweating to be one of them, to live their way, look well in their eyes-- It satisfies you?

CASANOVA:

No, but--

ANNA:

Is running here and there, faster and faster; Rome, Paris, London--? This brings you peace?

CASANOVA:

No, but--

ANNA:

These Paulettes, these little nothings, without hearts or bellies or souls-- They delight you?

CASANOVA:

No, but--

ANNA:

Then come with me!

CASANOVA:

(LONG SIGH, HELPLESSLY) I - I can't. I - I can't.

ANNA:

(BEAT, QUIETLY) No. You can't, can you? I understand. I had so many pictures in my head. Little pictures of you and me. (WARMLY) You and me under a lemon tree on a hot day, drinking wine from the skin. You, slicing sausage and bread against your chest and both of us laughing with our mouths full. You and me in the evening, sitting on the doorstep, watching the hills grow purple, and then black. You and me, in the night. Oh, Giacomo, it would have been so--

CASANOVA:

(STARTS TO CRY, CONTINUES BEHIND--)

ANNA:

(GENTLY) Ssshhh. No. No, no. Why cry? Tomorrow the sun comes up as usual, uh? Sh, Giacomo. Your eyes will get red and your face puffy like a roll -- and what will Miss Paulette think then, uh? Here, an old apron. Blow your nose.

CASANOVA:

(BLOWS HIS NOSE)

ANNA:

Goodbye, Giacomo.

CASANOVA:

Anna? Anna--

ANNA:

(GENTLE BUT FIRM) Goodbye.

MUSIC:

MELANCHOLY ... THEN IN BG

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) I never saw her again. She picked up her bundle and walked out of my life. And I? I continued along the way that seems to have ended here at your castle, milord.

MUSIC:

OUT GENTLY BEHIND--

CASANOVA:

(NARRATES) I've - I've come to a conclusion, milord, after a - a long and eventful life, that God is fair. Very fair, milord. He says to each one of us, when we are born, "Here, My child, is the world. Rummage through it! Take whatever you want! Only -- pay for it."

LORD:

(A LONG SNORE)

CASANOVA:

Huh? (REALIZES, QUIETLY) Oh. Good night, milord.

MUSIC:

UNDERSTATED HORNS ... FOR A NOBLE FINISH, PUNCTUATED BY COMICAL TYMPANI ... THEN OUT

ANNOUNCER:

ROMANCE is produced and directed by Norman Macdonnell with editorial supervision by Het Manheim. You've heard "The Way to the Castle," specially written for ROMANCE by Walter Brown Newman and starring Hans Conried. Featured in the cast were Lillian Buyeff, Shirley Mitchell and Ben Wright. This is James Matthews inviting you to hear ROMANCE, transcribed, next week at this same time.

MUSIC:

THEME ... THEN IN BG ... TILL END

ANNOUNCER:

Couples wind up richer and wiser on CBS Radio's Saturday night game of TWO FOR THE MONEY with Herb Shriner. It's lots of fun to hear as well as to play, at the Stars' Address. Stay tuned now for STARS OVER HOLLYWOOD which follows immediately over most of these stations.

CBS ANNCR:

She rings the bell for fun -- Eve Arden as OUR MISS BROOKS, Sunday nights on the CBS Radio Network.