Generic Radio Workshop Script Library (BACK)

Series: The Damon Runyon Theater
Show: Princess O'Hara
Date: Feb 20 1949

Adapted for radio by Russell Hughes
Based on the story by Damon Runyon

Thanks goes to Tom Cherry for this transcription

Theme music

Announcer:

The Damon Runyon Theater

Theme music continues.

Announcer:

Once again The Damon Runyon Theater brings you another story from the master of storytellers, Damon Runyon! And this one, one of his most famous, "Princess O'Hara". And, to tell it to you, here is Broadway...

Broadway:

Thanks. I guess nobody who is not a patron of Broadway ever hears of Princess O'Hara. But there are quite a few citizens along the stem who do remember. I am among said citizens. Indeed I will lay more than little six to five that I will not likely forget! Because it is because of the princess and a racehorse named Gallant Godfrey that I almost put my checks back into the rack before the appointed time for my demise! And how this comes about is a story I will tell you in a minute!

Incidental music closes scene.

Theme music

Announcer:

And now back to The Damon Runyon Theater and the famous story, "Princess O'Hara"!

Incidental music

Broadway:

As I am saying, it is Princess O'Hara and a racehorse named Gallant Godfrey who almost occasioned my early departure from this earth. Now the princess is not really a princess. She just gets that name because of her father who drives a hansom cab in the vicinity of Central Park. We call him King O'Hara and he is not really a king either. How he gets the name of King happens one night maybe six or seven years ago when two or three of us were standing in front of Mindy's, just watching the street. And the scene is as follows...

The sounds of the city. Automobiles, the hustle and bustle of city life. The slight hint of horse hooves drawing closer and closer.

Harry:

Hey, look, Broadway! Ain't that O'Hara driving up?

Broadway:

Yeah, it is.

Mitsy:

It is O'Hara, but look on the seat next to him. Is that a little doll I see?

Harry:

It is, Mitsy.

O'Hara:

Whoa, Benjamin, whoa!

The horse hooves stop.

Broadway:

Hello, O'Hara!

O'Hara:

Good evening to you, Broadway! And to you, Harry and Mitsy!

Harry and Mitsy:

Hello, O'Hara!

O'Hara:

(To his daughter) Now you stay on your seat, darling, while your father does a bit of business. (The sound of O'Hara leaving his seat on the hansom. Walks towards the guys) Gentlemen, I trust the three of you are well!

Broadway:

Can't complain, O'Hara. Can't complain.

O'Hara:

Good, good...(Chuckles) I see you are looking at me daughter!

Mitsy:

That little doll is your daughter?

O'Hara:

Aye! Yes, me daughter Maggie!

Harry:

She is a cute, little doll, but why is she on the hansom with you?

O'Hara:

And why not? It's time Broadway saw the likes of her! This is her vacation from school.

Broadway:

Oh, she goes to school!

O'Hara:

Oh, yes! She won't grow up behind a horse like I did! And my father before me. No, sir, gentlemen! She'll read and write and do songs like the fine ladies I take through the park every Sunday.

Harry:

That is a laudable ambition, O'Hara, but it seems to me such education requires more than just a little scratch.

O'Hara:

Yes. Every penny I make goes for her. Her who has the blood of kings in her veins! Like her father!

Broadway:

Kings? What kings?

O'Hara:

The ancient kings of Ireland, gentlemen!

Mitsy:

You are a king? Where is your crown?

O'Hara:

The kings have fallen on evil days.

All laugh.

Broadway:

Look if you are a king then your daughter is a princess!

Harry:

Princess O'Hara!

Mitsy:

(Chuckles) Hey, that sounds good! Princess O'Hara!

O'Hara:

(Considers it) Yes. Princess O'Hara!

Harry:

Okay! From now on you are King O'Hara and the doll is Princess O'Hara!

Incidental music

Broadway:

So that is the way it is. And then it happens King O'Hara falls on even more evil days. In fact, there are no more days for him because...he dies. And we do not see his horse Benjamin anymore. There is some talk about what becomes of the princess, but nobody does anything and we forget about it, what with this and that occupying our attention now and then. Then one night in front of Mindy's, I am standing with Last Card Louie the gambler and the scene is as follows...

Sounds of the city. Horse hooves approaching.

Louie:

As I am saying, Broadway, Harry has no right...(Pauses)

Broadway:

As you are saying?

Louie:

Look, Broadway! Do you see what I see?

Broadway:

I do not know. Perhaps I am not looking in the same direction?

The sound of horse hooves getting closer.

Louie:

Ain't that Benjamin and King O'Hara's hansom pulling up?

Broadway:

(Surprised) Yeah! Yeah, it is!

Louie:

But may I always draw an inside straight if it ain't a doll in the driver's seat!

Broadway:

It is! And...

Louie:

And what?

Broadway:

It's the princess!

Louie:

Princess? What princess?

Broadway:

Princess O'Hara!

Horse hooves stop.

Princess:

Good evening, gentlemen!

Louie:

(Impressed with what he sees) Well, well, well! Where has this doll been keeping herself?

Broadway:

She has grown up!

Louie:

Yeeeaaah! She is!

Princess:

Excuse me, but I'm looking for a gentleman called Broadway!

Broadway:

I am called Broadway!

Princess:

Oh, I am so glad! You don't remember me, do you?

Broadway:

(Cheerfully) Princess O'Hara!

Princess:

(Laughs) That's right!

Broadway:

It is easy seven years ago when I first see you!

Princess:

I was only eleven!

Louie:

Uh, Broadway, I am still here not having left!

Broadway:

Oh! Oh, sure. Princess, this is Last Card Louie.

Louie:

(Trying to be charming) Princess, I am happy to kiss your hand!

Princess:

(Laughs) Go along with that blarney!

Broadway:

Uh, Princess, you say you are looking for me?

Princess:

Yes!

Broadway:

But why?

Princess:

Dad told me to find you. He said you can help me!

Broadway:

Me help you? How?

Princess:

Well, since Dad died I have to earn a living. I can't spend all my life in school! Well, there was just enough money to get me this far.

Broadway:

Oh! You are low in scratch!

Princess:

What?

Broadway:

Uh, money!

Louie:

Princess, I will deem it an honor to advance you the loan of some bones!

Princess:

No! No, thank you. I rather do what my dad did.

Broadway:

Huh? You mean drive a hansom?

Princess:

Well, why not?

Broadway:

But that is what he does not want you to do!

Princess:

I'm not afraid! He put me through school doing it, I can support myself doing it! (Proudly) I have a license!

Louie:

(More impressed) Well, how do you like this?

Broadway:

(Puzzled) Princess, what can I do?

Princess:

Well, Dad said you knew everyone! And maybe you can tell your friends about me?

Broadway:

Sure! Sure!

Louie:

Princess, you have your first customer! Ninety-two times around the park would be alright for a start!

Princess:

(Giggles) Well, I hope Benjamin will hold out!

Broadway:

That is a very ancient horse!

Princess:

(Beaming) But wonderful! Dad drove Benjamin all his life.

Louie:

Well, what are we waiting for? Princess, you are in business!

A horse whinnies.

Incidental music

Broadway:

Well, that is the way it starts. The princess does a roaring business because everybody is anxious to ride with her. The reason being she is a doll who is A-#1 in the looks department and in personality! In fact, some of the boys get to know Central Park by heart. And can even tell now where the trees are! But none of them ever gets out of line except for Last Card Louie, but then he is somewhat of a suspicious character! Well, this goes on for some weeks and then one night we hear Benjamin the horse is sick and the princess cannot go about her usual rounds. So a group of us, composed of Harry the Horse, Little Mitsy, and myself go to the livery stable and the scene is as follows...

Knock on a wooden door.

Mitsy:

I hope we are not too late!

Harry:

Horses is very funny. One minute they are alright and the next they are running out of the money.

The stable door opens.

Princess:

Yes? (Gasps in pleasant surprise) Oh, Broadway! Mitsy and Harry!

Broadway:

(Softly) How is he?

Princess:

Come in please! (Closes the door) Oh, he is very sick. It's colic!

Mitsy:

Ohhhh, colic!

Harry:

Uh ,do you have a doctor for him?

Princess:

Oh, yes! Yes. But there is nothing more the vet can do.

Broadway:

He does not look so good.

Harry:

This is the first time I have ever see a horse laying down. Except for one season in Hialeah when I see a lot of horses laying down. With my money on them!

Princess:

Poor old Benjamin!

Mitsy:

Maybe he needs a horse specialist. Is there such a thing?

Broadway:

He keeps his eyes closed.

Harry:

Does he get enough rest and quiet?

Princess:

Oh, we are doing everything we can for him!

Mitsy:

It is tough. What does the doctor say?

Princess:

Nothing. Just wait.

Broadway:

How long does the doc expect Benjamin will be out of the running?

Princess:

Maybe three weeks or four. Until he gets his strength back. If he gets better.

Harry:

And in the meantime you will have no horse to pull the hansom cab!

Princess:

Oh, I'll get along. I just want Benjamin to get better! (Starts to cry)

Mitsy:

(Comforting her) Now, now, Princess, things are never as bad as they could be sometimes. (Pauses) That looks like a real sick horse. He does not seem to be breathing.

Harry:

Oh, he is breathing! But very little.

Broadway:

Princess?

Princess:

What, Broadway?

Broadway:

(Concerned) What are you going to do?

Princess:

I'll get along!

Broadway:

But how?

Princess:

Oh, I'll find a way!

Mitsy:

Maybe we can raise enough scratch to see you through this illness!

Princess:

No. No, thank you. Last Card Louie offered to help, but I'll get along!

Harry:

It seems to me what you need is a horse to take Benjamin's place until he is back on his feet!

Princess:

But where can I get a horse?

Mitsy:

There are many horses in the world!

Princess:

Oh, but they cost money to rent. I couldn't make expenses if I didn't own Benjamin!

Harry:

(Dejected) Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Broadway:

There is only one thing to do! Get a horse for you!

Princess:

Oh! But where? And how?

Broadway:

At present, I have no ideas.

Harry:

(In thought) Uhhhhhhhhhhh!

Mitsy:

You are thinking of something, Harry?

Harry:

Eh, I do not know. Well, Princess, we are going now, but we will drop in again and see the patient!

Princess:

Oh, thank you, Harry! And Broadway! And Mitsy!

Mitsy:

It is practically nothing!

Broadway:

In the meantime, Princess, you will let us know if there is anything we can do!

Princess:

Oh, of course! Good night.

Incidental music

Broadway:

Well, that is that! We know that the princess will not accept charity. We are a little mad at Last Card Louie because we know that his offer is not bona fide! So back at Mindy's we have a little meeting which is as follows...

The sounds of a busy restaurant. People eating and drinking. Chatter. Busboys cleaning tables, etc.

Mitsy:

We must get a horse for the princess!

Broadway:

You have any ideas, Mitsy?

Mitsy:

Short of buying a horse, I have no ideas.

Broadway:

We do not have enough scratch between us to buy a small pony!

Harry:

(In thought once again) Uhhhhhhhhhhh!

Mitsy:

Harry, you say that once before tonight. Does it mean something?

Harry:

Eh, I'm thinking there is more than several horses at Empire City.

Broadway:

The racetrack?

Harry:

The same!

Mitsy:

What if there are?

Harry:

Well, all of this talk of buying a horse is foolishness when the stalls at Empire City are packed with horses at this time of the year!

Mitsy:

Yeah, there are a great many horses there! Yeah!

Harry:

So let us send a committee up there to borrow one! The princess can use it until Benjamin is back on his feet!

Broadway:

But suppose nobody wishes to lend us a horse!

Harry:

I do not mean to exactly ask anyone to lend us a horse, Broadway!

Broadway:

Then what are you hinting?

Harry:

Let us borrow one without asking nobody!

Mitsy:

Uhhhh, this sounds a little like stealing!

Harry:

Well, I look at it this way! If we ask one of the horse owners to lend us a horse so the horse can pull a hack, the owner will be offended because he may figure we are insulting the horse!

Mitsy:

(On board with Harry's idea) So let us say nothing whatsoever about it!

Broadway:

This sounds just a little illegal!

Mitsy:

What of it?

Broadway:

(Slightly taken aback) I do not know what of it!

Mitsy:

Then we will borrow a horse, but who will we get to borrow it?

Harry:

Who?

Broadway:

Who?

Mitsy:

I have no experience whatsoever in borrowing horses. Once or twice I have borrowed other things, but never a horse!

Harry:

Well, we will scout around! Sooner or later, we will run across somebody who can borrow a horse for us!

Incidental music

Broadway:

But it is not that easy! Because it comes out that nobody along Broadway seems to know anything about borrowing a horse. It is really amazing the amount of ignorance there is on Broadway about this! It is two nights later and we are sitting in Mindy's thinking. When Little Mitsy gets a bright idea and says as follows...

Restaurant noise

Mitsy:

Hey, I just think of something!

Broadway:

Yeah, what?

Mitsy:

Look, this week at the Madison Square Garden there is a wild west show!

Harry:

So there is a wild west show! We are looking for horses, not Indians!

Broadway:

It is not a wild west show! It is what is called a "rodeo"!

Mitsy:

It has got horses in it!

Harry:

You mean we should borrow a horse from it?

Mitsy:

I am not thinking about that! I am thinking of something else.

Broadway:

For example?

Mitsy:

Look, when I am a kid I read about the west, way back in Illinois or Ohio or someplace, they got citizens who put the pinch on horses!

Harry:

Horsenappers?

Mitsy:

That is it!

Broadway:

Mitsy, I do not follow you!

Mitsy:

Look, this is a wild west show! In a wild west show, they have all kinds of citizens. They probably have somebody who knows about stealing...

Harry:

Borrowing!

Mitsy:

Borrowing horses!

Broadway:

Hmm. And how do we approach this citizen?

Mitsy:

Gently at first.

Broadway:

And if he does not see the light?

Mitsy:

He will see the darkness! We have got to help the princess!

Harry:

Mitsy, I think that is a good idea! Uh, who will go to the Garden?

Mitsy:

I will go.

Broadway:

(Uneasy) I do not like this! Something is going to happen!

Mitsy:

Never the less, it is the only way to obtain a horse. I will go to the Garden and see somebody!

Broadway:

Have you got a ticket to the show?

Mitsy:

(Finding Broadway's idea that he has to buy a ticket amusing) Ticket? Haw haw!

Incidental music

Broadway:

Well, comes up the next day and we do not see Little Mitsy. And we wonder what happens. Then we get a message that we are all to meet him at the livery stable so we go to the stable. The princess is not there due to the fact she is elsewhere. Which is just as well because we wish to surprise her with the horse! It is late at night and me and Harry the Horse are waiting. Then we hear...

A knock on a wooden door. Then another knock.

Harry:

That must be Little Mitsy! Yeah, I wonder if he got a horse!

Broadway:

I think if we open the door we will be able to see!

Harry:

Sure!

Stable door opens.

Mitsy:

Is the coast clear?

Harry:

Come on in!

Mitsy:

I have got a horse out here.

Harry:

Bring him in!

Mitsy:

Okay!

Braodway:

Mitsy, what are you doing?

Mitsy:

(Slightly puzzled) How does one make a horse go where one wishes?

Harry:

I will give you a hand!

The sound of horse hooves as he enters the stable.

Broadway:

(Whistles) That is a horse! A beautiful horse!

Mitsy:

Close the door!

The stable door is shut.

Harry:

Mitsy, I am proud of you! You do it!

Mitsy:

(Chuckles) It is easy! I go to the wild west show and I make some inquiries. One of the citizens tells me there is an old guy who used to pinch horses when he is younger.

Harry:

Go on! What then?

Mitsy:

So I find the guy who is wearing leather pants with hair on them. He snatches the horse from Empire City!

Harry:

Just like that?

Mitsy:

Oh, he says it is easy! All he does is walk up, open the stall, here is the horse!

Harry:

(Just noticing something and not liking it) Yeaaah, here is the horse! Here is the horse!

Broadway:

Harry, why do you say it like that?

Harry:

Because I take a good look at this horse and I know who he is!

Mitsy:

There is something wrong with him?

Harry:

Nothing! Nothing at all! Except he happens to be Gallant Godfrey!

Broadway:

(Gasps) Gallant Godfrey?

Harry:

Yeah, the greatest racehorse in the country! In fact, the greatest racehorse in the world!

Incidental music closes the scene.

Theme music opens again.

Announcer:

And now back to The Damon Runyon Theater and the famous story, "Princess O'Hara"!

Incidental music

Broadway:

Well, that is that! It seems we now have the greatest racehorse in the world. The three of us are looking at each other and back at Gallant Godfrey, who we are wishing is back safe in his stall! Indeed, there is a move to return this borrowed horse when the princess comes back just as we are about to leave and the scene is as follows...

Princess:

Boys! You have...(Sees Gallant Godfrey) Oh, where did you get him?

Broadway:

To tell the truth, Princess, we...the horse will have to be returned!

Harry:

That is right!

Mitsy:

Yes!

Princess:

Naturally! As soon as Benjamin is better, we will take this one back! Oh my! He is wonderful! Where did you get him?

Mitsy:

(Floundering for an answer) Uh, uh...we borrowed him!

Princess:

Oh, I know, but where?

Harry:

It is a long story and it is very late!

Princess:

Oh, this looks like a wonderful horse! He doesn't look although he was built to pull a hansom!

Mitsy:

Uh, maybe his looks are deceiving!

Princess:

Come on! Help me harness him to the cab!

Harry:

You are going to harness him? To a cab?

Princess:

Isn't that why you brought him? Well, isn't it?

Mitsy:

Yes.

Harry:

I guess it is.

Broadway:

Yeah, I guess it is.

Princess:

Well, then come on! Please help me!

Harry:

(Finding the thought unbelievable) A hansom cab!

Princess:

We will see how he looks!

Mitsy:

I wish I know how I will look in a few days!

Princess:

What?

Mitsy:

Nothing! Nothing!

Princess:

Help me, boys!

Gallant Godfrey whinnies. Hooves shuffle about.

Mitsy:

He is objecting!

Broadway:

You are going to put the blinkers over his eyes?

Princess:

Oh, sure! (Puts blinkers in place) There you are!

Harry:

Hey, look! He looks like a different horse with those things on!

Mitsy:

Yeah! He does not look like the same horse at all!

Broadway:

I do not think anybody will recognize him!

Harry:

Broadway, I think you are right!

Princess:

He is wonderful! Beautiful! Almost as beautiful as old Benjamin!

Mitsy:

Princess, any similarity between this horse and Benjamin is very lucky! For us!

Princess:

Why do you say that?

Mitsy:

Well, because...uh...we are very glad the horse fits the harness!

Princess:

I'll tell you what! Let's all get in and go for a ride!

Harry:

(Hesitates) W-w-with him?

Princess:

Why not?

Broadway:

Uh, Princess, we are due someplace else! Any minute!

Princess:

Well, I'll take you!

Mitsy:

I will walk!

Harry:

My doctor says I need exercise!

Princess:

Oh, please! Boys, please go for a ride! I want to try him out!

Mitsy:

(Sighs) Boys, let us face the music. We are going for a ride!

Horse whinnies.

Incidental music

Broadway:

Naturally we think this is our last ride anyplace because we are sure Gallant Godfrey will be recognized! But he is not! Nobody thinks of looking for a racehorse on front of a hansom cab! And so it goes for three days. Meantime, Harry noses around and finds out that Gallant Godfrey's owners do not wish to make the loss public as they figure Godfrey just wanders from his stall! And because he is due for some big races later, they do not wish to alarm those who want to place bets on him. Now it so happens about a week later, I am standing in front of Mindy's, talking to Last Card Louie when the princess drives up and the scene is as follows...

Horse hooves. Sounds of the city.

Louie:

Well, well, well! The princess!

Princess:

Hello! Hi, Broadway!

Broadway:

Good afternoon, Princess! How is the hansom cab business?

Princess:

Oh, just fine! There is just one thing wrong.

Broadway:

Wrong? What is wrong?

Princess:

The horse you let me always wants to gallop!

Louie:

That so? Oh! That is a very nice looking horse! You know, I think I have seen him someplace before!

Broadway:

Well, sure! He is around a lot with the princess!

Louie:

Hmm, that head! Um, Princess, where did you get this horse?

Princess:

The boys borrowed him for me!

Louie:

Is that so?

Princess:

Mmm-hmm!

Louie:

Where from?

Broadway:

From the rodeo! At the Garden!

Louie:

At the rodeo, hmm? I have never seen a bronc like this! This horse looks very familiar!

Broadway:

Maybe because you are acquainted with many horses and one horse often looks like another! Especially since they are all horses!

Louie:

Uh huh! I...(Suddenly startled) Broadway! Princess, get back on the hansom!

Princess:

What's the matter?

Louie:

Get on the seat, Princess! Broadway, inside the cab fast!

Broadway:

What for?

Louie: Never mind! Get in!

The cab's door quickly opens and shuts.

Louie:

Okay, Princess, get going!

Princess:

Where?

Louie:

Central Park! Get all you can out of this horse!

Broadway:

I do not care for a ride!

Louie:

Shut up! Princess, get moving!

The sound of horse hooves amongst city traffic. The horse hooves get faster and faster as the following dialogue continues.

Broadway:

Louie, what is the idea?

Louie:

Behind us!

Broadway:

I see nothing, but a big, black automobile!

Louie:

Sure! And inside that big, black automobile are Big Eddie and Spanish John!

Broadway:

Huh?

Louie:

They are after me! They claim I drew one too many last cards in a game last night!

Broadway:

(Alarmed) I want out of this!

Louie:

Stay right where you are! They might not shoot if you are with me!

Broadway:

(Panicky) If I know Spanish John and Big Eddie, and I do!, they would shoot into a Sunday school picnic if they are in the mood! And I feel they are in such a mood!

Louie:

Faster, Princess, faster!

Princess:

But we are in a full gallop now!

The horse hooves are running at a furious rate.

Louie:

Oh, this is a wonderful horse! We are passing all the traffic!

Broadway:

I will open my eyes and look...after awhile!

Louie:

Turn in the park, Princess! Through the transverse!

Broadway:

They will catch us in the tunnel!

Louie:

It is our only chance!

Broadway:

Are they gaining?

Louie:

We are holding our own! Once we're through the park, I can duck into one of the apartment buildings!

Suddenly gunshots!

Broadway:

(Scared) Like I said before, they are in the right mood! Those were shots!

Louie:

We got to make it! Faster, Princess!

Princess:

He got the bit between his teeth!

Louie:

If he likes it, let him have it!

More gunshots!

Broadway:

(Speaking out of fear) Come on, Gallant Godfrey!

Louie:

(Surprised) Gallant Godfrey? Broadway, what did you say?

Broadway:

I am in no mood for chit chat! They are gaining! Louie, look back!

Louie:

Princess, when you get to the transverse, turn left!

Broadway:

We'll be going on an one way street!

Louie:

Sure, then we will cut across the lawn back around!

Broadway:

My last day on earth and I spend it back behind a horse!

More gunshots!

Louie:

We are almost to the transverse!

Broadway:

I will spend the rest of my life indoors! If I have any more life coming!

Louie:

Now, Princess, now! Turn him! Turn him!

The sound of a car making a hard turn and crashing.

Louie laughs.

Broadway:

What happens?

Louie:

They cracked up! They could not turn into the one way street!

After such a furious pace, the horse hooves finally slow down.

Broadway:

Is it all over?

Louie:

All over! I think Big Eddie and Spanish John are out of their mood!

Princess:

Are they dead?

Louie:

I do not think so. But, Broadway, do I hear you say the name "Gallant Godfrey"?

Princess:

Gallant Godfrey? What's that?

Louie:

Nothing, Princess, nothing at all! (Happy) This is a very wonderful horse! He saved my life!

Broadway:

(Concerned) Louie, what are you going to do?

Louie:

Broadway, I have not yet made up my mind, but when I do it, it will be something real nice!

Incidental music

Broadway:

Well, I do not like the way Last Card Louie says that, but I am in no condition to offer argument because I find I cannot move due to the previous excitement! However, the payoff does not come until several days later and I will tell you about it in a minute!

Incidental music closes the scene.

Incidental music starts again.

Broadway:

As I say it is not until several days later when I am sitting in Mindy's, I am wondering what Last Card Louie's trick is going to be when I am joined by Harry the Horse and Little Mitsy! And the scene is as follows...

Restaurant noise

Harry:

(A hint of anger) Hello, Broadway!

Broadway:

Harry! How are you?

Mitsy:

(Voice with a slight edge) Broadway, I am glad to see you!

Broadway:

(Sounding a little uneasy) Yeah, I am glad to see you!

Harry:

You know, Broadway, we are wondering who it was who tips Louie that the horse is Gallant Godfrey!

Mitsy:

Yeah! It puts us in a bad hole!

Broadway:

Now look, boys, I can explain!

Harry:

(Laughs) It is alright, Broadway!

Mitsy:

(Laughing as well) Everything is fine!

Broadway:

Fine? How?

Harry:

Ah! Here comes the princess!

Mitsy:

Hello, Princess!

Princess:

Hello, boys!

Harry:

Sit down, Princess!

Princess:

Thanks! Oh, wasn't it wonderful what Last Card Louie did!

Mitsy:

Wonderful!

Princess:

I can take the money and go back to school! Like Dad wanted me to!

Broadway:

(Puzzled) School? Money?

Princess:

Don't you know, Broadway?

Broadway:

I am in the dark! And maybe it is better this way!

Princess:

(Laughs) Oh, Last Card Louie bought my horse for a thousand dollars!

Broadway:

He? But...but...

Princess:

And then he gave the horse right back to me! So I can have someone else drive the hansom and I can go back to school!

Harry:

(A cheesy smile in his voice) Oh, it is wonderful! There is so many wonderful people in the world!

Mitsy:

(Also with the same smile in his voice) The world is filled of sweetness and light! It is a little hard to make people see the light, but it can be done!

Harry:

Princess, we have a little business to talk over so if you will wait for us, we will be right out!

Princess:

Oh, alright! (Starts to walk away) Don't be too long because we want to take our last ride together before I go away to school!

Harry:

Ain't it wonderful?

Mitsy:

It is!

Broadway:

What is?

Harry:

Last Card Louie knows the horse is Gallant Godfrey!

Mitsy:

But he does not know that Harry and me knows!

Harry:

So he gives me a thousand dollars to buy the horse!

Mitsy:

Princess O'Hara's horse!

Broadway:

Gallant Godfrey?

Harry:

The princess does not own Gallant Godfrey! She owns Benjamin!

Broadway:

And Louie buys Benjamin?

Mitsy:

He thinks he is getting Gallant Godfrey because he reads there is a reward for the horse. Ten thousand dollars! So he figures to keep quiet and make a little scratch quick!

Harry:

And he gets a bill of sale for Benjamin!

Mitsy:

(Laughs) A horse that is no good to him! So we persuade him to give Benjamin back to the princess!

Broadway:

You persuaded him?

Harry:

Well, we talk to him!

Mitsy:

We tell him Big Eddie and Spanish John will be out of the hospital soon and this town is not healthy for him in that event!

Harry:

So he goes away!

Mitsy:

I think he will stay away.

Broadway:

(Cheerful) Then everything is alright!

Harry:

Certainly!

Mitsy:

Particularly since Harry and me return the horse we borrowed!

Harry:

And there is no questions asked! It seems they are very glad to get Gallant Godfrey back!

Mitsy:

And we are very glad to get the reward money!

Broadway:

(Pleased and impressed) Well, well, well!

Mitsy:

It is like I always say: Honesty is the best policy!

Incidental music close the scene.

Announcer:

And so ends the famous Damon Runyon story, "Princess O'Hara"! Listen again next week to...

Theme music

Announcer:

The Damon Runyon Theater!

Theme music continues.

Announcer:

The Damon Runyon Theater with John Brown as Broadway is directed by Richard Sandville and the story is adapted to radio by Russell Hughes. This is a Mayfair production.