Generic Radio Workshop Script Library (BACK)

Series: Our Miss Brooks
Show: Puppy Love, Mr. Barlow, and Miss Davis
Date: Feb 04 1951

ANNCR:

Colgate Dental Cream, to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay, and Palmolive Shave Creams, for a smoother, more comfortable way to shave, bring you OUR MISS BROOKS, transcribed and starring Eve Arden!

MUSIC THEME

APPLAUSE

MUSIC UNDER AND OUT

ANNCR:

It's time once again for another comedy episode of OUR MISS BROOKS, under the direction of Al Lewis. Well, like most school teachers, Our Miss Brooks, who teaches English at Madison High School, has been exposed to her share of puppy love.

BROOKS:

I'll say I have. It's getting so I can't look a puppy in the face without flinching. But the kids at school are nothing compared to the case I discovered at home between my landlady, Mrs. Davis and Horace Barlow, the school's new jan- basement custodian. Although she met him a week ago at a school tea, up until Thursday morning at breakfast she kept denying anything but a passing interest in him.

MRS D:

Please, Connie, just because Horace Barlow has been over a few times is no reason for people to jump to conclusions. My goodness, Horace isn't jumping to conclusions.

BROOKS:

At his age, Horace is lucky if he can limp to conclusions. But I've seen you two together Mrs. Davis...

MRS D:

As far as I'm concerned, I think of Horace as just a real nice boy.

BROOKS:

And he is, too - a real nice sixty-eight year-old boy.

MRS D:

He happens to be fifty-four, Connie. He told me so himself.

BROOKS:

I know, Mrs. Davis, and Jack Benny is thirty-nine. Not that I'm criticizing your friendship - far from it - I'm delighted that Horace is so genuinely fond of you.

MRS D:

Oh, Connie. Horace doesn't even know I'm alive.

BROOKS:

Well, don't let that worry you. It's hard to tell about him most of the time.

MRS D:

Anyway, I'm simply not interested in anything but the most casual relationship. Heavens, if I were thinking seriously, I'd try to find out something about the man, wouldn't I?

BROOKS:

Haven't you?

MRS D:

Definitely not. I'm not even mildly curious. I haven't even the slightest idea where he keeps his ten thousand dollar life insurance policy. And I have no knowledge whatsoever of how he got his leg wounded in the Mexican War, for which he gets a fifty-three dollar a month pension. I don't even know in what bank he keeps his twenty-six hundred and nineteen dollar savings account.

BROOKS:

Shame on you. You haven't even got his Social Security number.

MRS D:

It's four nine eight two six five.

SFX:

CAR HORN HONKS SEVERAL TIMES, OFF

BROOKS:

Oh, that's Walter Denton, he's taking me to school.(CALLS) Be right there, Walter! (TO MRS D) Now, is there anything you want me to say to Mr. Barlow for you if I happen to see him at school?

MRS D:

Not a thing, Connie.

BROOKS:

Okay.

MRS D:

There's no necessity of even mentioning to him that I'm not busy tonight.

BROOKS:

I see.

MRS D:

And there's no need for any remarks about the cake I'm baking today being too big for one person to finish alone.

BROOKS:

I'll be a silent as the tomb.

MRS. D:

And above all, it would be utterly shameless if he were to hear that I don't want to waste the box of cigars I bought yesterday.

BROOKS:

You can trust me implicitly, Mrs. Davis. I won't say a word to Mr. Barlow. I'll just hit him on the head and drag him home.

MUSIC:

TRANSITION ORCHESTRAL VERSION OF "RIDE OF THE VALKRIES"

BROOKS:

I'm glad you picked me up early this morning, Walter. I've got an errand to do for Mrs. Davis before my first class.

WALTER:

I'll get you there with the speed of a gazelle, Miss Brooks. Oh, by the way, how's Mrs. Davis' romance with Mr. Barlow coming along?

BROOKS:

Oh, have you noticed that, too? I think it's the cutest thing in the world. Mrs. Davis actually has a bad case of puppy love.

WALTER:

It is cute ... considering she's in her second puppyhood. No disrespect intended, you understand. After all, what can be more romantic than two lonely old people encountering the grand passion in the sear and yellow leaf of life.

BROOKS:

Why, that's absolutely poetic, Walter.

WALTER:

The burning desires of youth long past, they look now for the subdued glow of companionship. The warm and simple pleasures that two elderly people in love can share together.

BROOKS:

I can see the now - soaking their feet in the same pan of Epsom salts.

WALTER:

I bet you'd like to find romance at that age, Miss Brooks.

BROOKS:

At the rate I'm going now, I'm counting on it. But Walter, I'd just as soon you don't mention the subject at school, it might be a source of embarrassment to Mr. Barlow.

WALTER:

My trap is sealed, Miss Brooks. Now, what's the errand you're gonna do for Mrs. Davis this morning?

BROOKS:

Well, off the record, I'm going to invite Mr. Barlow over to the house tonight. He's been a little backward about asking for a date.

WALTER:

I get it: You're Mrs. Davis' John Alden. Now all you've got to do is to get Mr. Barlow to invite Mr. Boynton over, and you're all set!

BROOKS:

Meeting's adjourned!

MUSIC:

TRANSITION

SFX:

CLACK OF WOMAN'S SHOES DOWN HALLWAY. OUT UNDER NEXT LINE

HARRIET:

Hi Miss Brooks. You're pretty early today, aren't you?

BROOKS:

Hello, Harriet. I've got to deliver a message to the custodian. Have you seen him?

HARRIET:

Oh, yes. Mr. Barlow just went into his office. (DREAMY) Isn't it wonderful, Miss Brooks?

BROOKS:

I don't know. I've never been in his office.

HARRIET:

I mean about Mr. Barlow and Mrs. Davis. They're crazy about each other. Of course, it's a big secret.

BROOKS:

It couldn't be a bigger secret if they took out an ad.

HARRIET:

Is there anything more romantic than the mellow romance of old age?

BROOKS:

Now please, Harriet.

HARRIET:

Two think of two people finding love at a time of life when others are preparing to pass on. Two people walking hand in hand in the twilight of life.

BROOKS:

Yes, there's nothing like a brisk walk before passing on.

HARRIET:

Well, I won't keep you any longer. Far be it from me to delay Mrs. Davis' emissary of love! Good luck in your mission, John Alden!

BROOKS:

Thank you, Priscilla.

SFX:

FOOTSTEPS. KNOCK ON DOOR

BARLOW:

Come in!

SFX:

DOOR OPENS. SOUNDS OF WORKING

BROOKS:

I hope I'm not disturbing you, Mr. Barlow, but there's something I wanted to ask you.

BARLOW:

Well then, go ahead and ask. You want to get apples, ya gotta shake the tree. Well, what is it?

BROOKS:

It's just this: I was wondering if tonight - that is, if you haven't any other plans - Mrs. Davis isn't doing anything and I'm sure she'd be pleased if you wanted to drop over.

BARLOW:

Well, that's right neighborly. Would... you like me to drop over?

BROOKS:

Of course. I'm sure you and Mrs. Davis will have a lovely evening together.

BARLOW:

Are you planning on stayin' in, Miss Brooks?

BROOKS:

I suppose so Mr. Barlow, but I'm sure that at your age, you don't need any chaperone.

BARLOW:

You're right about that - Maybe we could send Mrs. Davis to a movie.

BROOKS:

[PAUSE] Send Mrs. Davis to a movie!?

BARLOW:

Sure! [CHUCKLES] Oh, there's no sense in my tryin' to hide it any longer. Why - the only reason I've been comin' around Mrs. Davis' place is to be near you.

BROOKS:

Near ME? But you've been making dates with Mrs. Davis!

BARLOW:

Well naturally! You've gotta slip the drones a little honey if you wanna get next to the queen bee!

BROOKS:

You, Mr. Barlow, are barking up the wrong hive! ... This is ridiculous! I simply can't believe it's even happening.

BARLOW:

I couldn't believe it myself. I just couldn't understand the feeling that swept over me when I first saw you, Miss Brooks. In fact, since that time, I've had my glasses changed twice! But it's still the same! I keep askin' myself - Where have you been all my life?

BROOKS:

For three quarters of it, I wasn't even born! [PAUSE] Look Mr. Barlow, there's a great difference in our ages...

BARLOW:

Aw, nonsense Miss Brooks, I just don't believe in age.

BROOKS: Well neither do I - I've been standing it off for years! I mean, if you'll think this over for a while, you'll realize that it just couldn't work out.

BARLOW:

Oh why not? Is there somebody else playin' the piano in your front parlor?

BROOKS:

No, but Mr. Boynton plays the ukulele on my back porch... We've been going together for quite a while now.

BARLOW:

You mean that biology fella? Oh shucks, he's just an unsophisticated kid. Why you couldn't warm him up if you stuck a Bunsen burner under him!

BROOKS:

You've been peeking! ... That is - Mr. Boynton's just shy about expressing his feelings.

BARLOW:

He ain't got no feelings if you ask me. Least-wise, not like I have. Especially since I met you. Why I just knew today was gonna bring some excitement into my life. I got the strangest sensation right after breakfast.

BROOKS:

Maybe something fell into your gruel.

BARLOW:

There's no two ways about it, sis! I'm Smitten!

BROOKS: Well, would it un-smit you if I told you I'm engaged to Mr. Boynton?

BARLOW:

Engaged!? But he wasn't even over to your place the night I visited Mrs. Davis.

BROOKS:

He must have been working. If you come over tonight, I'm sure he'll be there.

BARLOW:

Well - seeing is believing. I'll drop by Miss Brooks, but I still say, when it comes to your bringin' me messages from Mrs. Davis, speak for your self, John Alden.

BROOKS:

There's no use talking - these man-tailored suits have got to go!

MUSIC:

TRANSITION

MUSIC:

COLGATE JINGLE

ANNCR:

Colgate dental cream cleans your breath - while it cleans your teeth. And the Colgate way stops tooth decay best. Yes, the Colgate way is the most thoroughly proved and accepted home method of oral hygiene known today. Over two years research showed brushing teeth right after eating with Colgate dental cream helped stop more decay for more people than ever before reported in dentifrice history. The Colgate way stopped tooth decay best! No other dentifrice, ammoniated or not, offers such conclusive proof. And you should know that Colgate, while not mentioned by name, was the only toothpaste used in the research on tooth decay, recently reported in Reader's Digest. So always follow the Colgate way to clean your breath, while you clean your teeth. And stop tooth decay best!

MUSIC:

COLGATE JINGLE

ANNCR:

And the Colgate way stops tooth decay best!

MUSIC:

TRANSITION

BROOKS:

Well I was quite chagrinned to find out that Horace Barlow was more interested in me than he was in Mrs. Davis. This was one triangle I was determined would not be eternal... Not even overnight. Therefore at lunchtime, I headed for Mr. Boynton's table in the cafeteria. But just as I got halfway to it...

FX:

PLATE CRASHING

BROOKS:

Oh Mr. Conklin - I'm terribly sorry sir!

CONKLIN:

You're slipping, Miss Brooks... You only knocked two dishes off my tray today.

BROOKS:

I guess I didn't watch where I was going.

CONKLIN:

Obviously... When you do, you get the whole tray.

BROOKS:

Well luckily nothing happened to your apple pie. The plate is broken, but the pie is intact - here.

CONKLIN:

Thank you. Even more luckily, nothing seems to have gotten on my clothes.

BROOKS:

No sir. I've never seen you look so neat - White carnation and all.

CONKLIN:

I spoke too soon... That's vanilla ice cream.

BROOKS:

This never would have happened sir, but I'm terribly preoccupied today.

CONKLIN:

This must be preoccupied-day at Madison High. I've had nothing but trouble with our new school custodian for the same reason.

BROOKS:

You mean Mr. Barlow?

CONKLIN:

Yes. He forgets about the furnace, he forgets to fix the pipes - the old goat acts as if he was in love.

BROOKS:

Maybe he is in love.

CONKLIN:

But who could a seventy-year-old codger be in love with?

BROOKS:

He happens to be fifty-four.

CONKLIN:

Yes, and Jack Benny is thirty-nine. [PAUSE} Horace Barlow in love! At his age, he probably can't tell the difference between a woman and a kangaroo!

BROOKS:

[CHUCKLES] Probably not. Well - if you'll excuse me, I'll be hopping off to lunch. No doubt I'll run into you later in the day, Mr. Conklin.

CONKLIN:

It is with that thought in mind that I carry every possible form of accident and hospitalization insurance. Good day, Miss Brooks.

BROOKS:

Good day, Mr. Conklin.

FX:

FOOTSTEPS

BROOKS:

He's got a lot of nerve. Just because a person's lived a few more years than some other person...

WALTER:

I'm don't like to interrupt Miss Brooks, but if you keep talkin' to yourself, you'll make an eaves-dropper outa me.

BROOKS:

I'm sorry Walter. I've had a little shock this morning. You see I spoke to Horace Barlow a short time ago about making a date with Mrs. Davis.

WALTER:

What'd he say??

BROOKS:

He said he's not interested in Mrs. Davis - he's smitten with somebody else.

WALTER:

Somebody else!? But he can't do that to Mrs. Davis! She's a very sensitive little lady, and she's nuts about him. She'll be terribly hurt!

BROOKS:

That's what I'm afraid of.

WALTER:

He doesn't know when he's well-off! I'd like to see the hunk o' crow-bait he's fallin' for!

BROOKS:

Now just a minute Walter, it so happens that Mr. Barlow thinks he's in love with me.

WALTER:

With YOU? But that's illegal! It's unthinkable! It's uh...

BROOKS:

Let's just call it unusual. Actually Walter, I'm extremely worried about the situation. Mrs. Davis and I have been friends for too long to let a thing like this come between us.

WALTER:

Well why don't you just tell Barlow to go peddle his papers?

BROOKS:

I did, practically. I even told him I was engaged to Mr. Boynton. That's what I'm worried about - They're both coming over tonight, and I've got to prove it.

WALTER:

Well what's so tough about that? I'm sure Mr. Boynton will cooperate.

BROOKS:

You are?

WALTER:

Sure! ... For one night.

BROOKS:

Oh.

WALTER:

Now. The next thing you gotta do is get Mrs. Davis outa the house tonight. 'Cause if she caught you and Mr. Boynton acting as if you were engaged, she'd know something was rotten in Denmark!

BROOKS:

What a sweet way to put it. But Walter, how do I get Mrs. Davis out of the house?

WALTER:

Well easy! There's an old batchelor-friend stayin' at the house for a coule of days - a Mr. Gordon. I'm sure he'd like a date with a nice clean-cut character like Mrs. Davis. And I'll ask her to go out with him as a favor to my folks.

BROOKS:

What about Mr. Barlow? She expects him tonight.

WALTER:

Well just tell her he couldn't make it. Say his blood-pressure hit a new high or something. Now you go call Mr. Boynton, and I'll call home and make sure Mr. Gordon's available to act as "Davis-bait" for the evening. See ya' later, Miss Brooks.

BROOKS:

All right Walter, and thanks!

FX:

FOOTSTEPS

BROOKS:

[SINGING TO HERSELF] Me and the night and the music... da da da da da da... Oh, Mr. Boynton! I've got to talk to you right away!

BOYNTON:

Oh, what's wrong Miss Brooks?

BROOKS:

It's about Mrs. Davis. You know, she's got a crush on the school custodian, Mr. Barlow. But unfortunately, he's head-over-heels in love with somebody else!

BOYNTON:

[LAUGHS] Please Miss Brooks - Don't make me laugh while I'm drinking coffee. Mr. Barlow's an old man! What kind of a shriveled-up prune could he fall for?

BROOKS:

Why does it have to be a prune? For all you know, Mr. Barlow could be crazy about a nice, young firm fuzzy peach. Besides, he's only fourty-eight.

BOYNTON:

Why, he's seventy, at least! And not what you'd call in prime condition. Why his hyperthyroidism is apparent, and his incipient arteriosclerosis masking cardiac decompensation was evident to me after one glance.

BROOKS:

It's a good thing you didn't take a second glance, he'd be a goner! The truth is Mr. Boynton, that Mr. Barlow has been coming to our place just to be near me.

BOYNTON:

[SPITS HIS COFFEE]

BROOKS:

If I'd known you were gonna get so excited, I'd have worn my raincoat! Here - use this napkin.

BOYNTON:

Oh - I'm sorry Miss Brooks, but I - I couldn't help exploding. You mean to tell me Mr. Barlow is in love with YOU?

BROOKS:

That's right, we hyperthyroids have to stick together. Look Mr. Boynton, I know it's an absurd situation, but my only real concern is Mrs. Davis. I've got to discourage Mr. Barlow once-and-for-all, and you've got to help me!

BOYNTON:

Me? What can I do?

BROOKS:

Well he's coming over to our place tonight - I invited him on behalf of Mrs. Davis. That's when he told me how he felt about me, and that's when I told him something utterly fantastic.

BOYNTON:

What did you tell him?

BROOKS:

That you and I were engaged to be married here's the napkin.

BOYNTON:

[SPITS HIS COFFEE AGAIN]

FX:

CUP CLATTERS

BOYNTON:

Engaged to be married! But Miss Brooks, that's utterly fantastic!

BROOKS:

I'm glad I said it first. Don't you see Mr. Boynton, this is very important to someone who's very important to me. Mrs. Davis is just about the best friend I've got!

BOYNTON:

Well if that's the case Miss Brooks, I guess the least I can do is cooperate.

BROOKS:

Will you really Mr. Boynton?

BOYNTON:

Sure! ... For one night.

BROOKS:

Oh.

MUSIC:

TRANSITION

BOYNTON:

Oh, boy I'm full! That was a very fine dinner, Miss Brooks.

BROOKS:

I'm glad you liked it Mr. Boynton - I opened it all by myself. I hope Mr. Gordon took Mrs. Davis to a nice place for dinner. He appears to be a jolly old fellow, doesn't he?

BOYNTON:

Yes indeed - and I noticed he gave you a pretty thorough once-over when you were introduced. You seem to pack quite a wallop for these elderly Joes.

BROOKS:

That's me - the Cleopatra of the cardiac cases. But I've got to clear away these dishes - Mr. Barlow will be over any minute.

BOYNTON:

Well if that's the case, shouldn't we be getting into the mood?

BROOKS:

The mood?

BOYNTON:

Well yes - we're supposed to be engaged, aren't we?

BROOKS:

[HAPPY] Oh - that mood! Why Mr. Boynton - I can hardly believe my ears!

BOYNTON:

Why? There's no sense making a chore out of this thing - we might as well have some fun doing it.

BROOKS:

Fun doing it?

BOYNTON:

Why certainly. Now let's get started.

BROOKS:

Get started?

BOYNTON:

Well the quicker the better!

BROOKS:

Quicker the better?

BOYNTON:

Of course - come on!

BROOKS:

Come on?? I mean come on!

BOYNTON:

Well sure - you wash and I'll dry.

BROOKS:

[PAUSE] So much for the hopes of Connie Brooks, girl dreamer... Look Mr. Boynton, working in the kitchen is the way married people would get into the mood. Engaged couples do their work in the parlor, with soft lights.

BOYNTON:

Okay, we'll take a big basin of water and do the dishes in the parlor.

BROOKS:

Sometimes I wish you were ugly. Come on Mr. Boynton, I'll attend to the dishes later. Let's sit down in the living room, hmm?

FX:

FOOTSTEPS

BOYNTON:

All right Miss Brooks - it isn't too healthy to commence working too soon after a meal anyway.

FX:

DOORBELL

BROOKS:

That must be Mr. Barlow. Just make yourself comfortable - I'll let him in.

FX:

FOOTSTEPS UNDER LAST, DOOR OPENS

BARLOW:

Well here I am Brooksy. Fit as a fiddle and twice as musical.

BROOKS:

Come in Mr. Barlow.

FX:

DOOR CLOSES

BROOKS:

I fixed a little dinner this evening for my fianc? - we've just finished eating it. Follow me, won't you?

BARLOW:

Your fianc??

FX:

FOOTSTEPS UNDER LAST

BARLOW:

Then you mean you actually...

BROOKS:

Hello darling. Did you miss me?

BOYNTON:

Miss you?

BROOKS:

I hated to leave you alone for so many seconds, but I just had to let Mr. Barlow in. You remember Mr. Barlow, don't you dear?

BOYNTON:

Oh of course - how are you Mr. Barlow?

BARLOW:

Snappy as a cookie and twice as full o'ginger. But let's get to the point. Miss Brooks here told me that you two are engaged. Is that true?

BOYNTON:

Well...yes. Yes it is.

BARLOW:

Well then how come nobody around school's heard anything about it?

BROOKS:

Because we wanted it that way. We've been secretly engaged for over six months now. Haven't we darling?

BOYNTON:

We certainly have, Miss Brooks.

BARLOW:

"Miss Brooks" ?? Why does he call you Miss Brooks if you're gonna be married?

BROOKS:

He doesn't like any display of affection in front of company. Let's sit down, shall we? Mr. Barlow, draw up a chair, won't you? And sweetheart, you draw up a chair, and we'll sit down.

BOYNTON:

Uh, "we"? But Miss Brooks, I worked out with the basketball team yesterday, and my knees are a little weak.

BROOKS:

It may be a foul, but I'll never get a shot like this again. Sit down dear - there we are. Comfy?

BOYNTON:

Uh, yeah.

BARLOW:

Hmm. Seems mighty strange to me. Most engaged folks I've seen act a little more demonstrative than you do.

BROOKS:

But we're MAD for each other. Aren't we, darling?

BOYNTON:

Yeah...mad.

BROOKS:

You know dearie - you haven't kissed me in five minutes.

BOYNTON:

WHAT??

BROOKS:

I said you haven't kissed me in five minutes - what're we gonna do about that?

BOYNTON:

Let's wait another five, huh?

BROOKS:

What's the matter darling? You want to kiss me, don't you?

BARLOW:

Uh, maybe it's me, Miss Brooks.

BROOKS:

No, I'm positive he doesn't want to kiss you. Oh - you mean he doesn't want to kiss me in your presence. I'm sure that wouldn't stop my great big handsome lover-boy, would it dearest?

BOYNTON:

Well certainly not - give me your cheek... there.

BROOKS:

wow... Now how about one to get me down off the ceiling?

BARLOW:

Uh, maybe I oughta go.

BROOKS:

But why MR Barlow, you just got here.

BARLOW:

I know, but won't I be interrupting something?

BROOKS:

Only if you go... I mean - stick around a little while longer.

FX:

DOORBELL

BROOKS:

I'll see who it is - don't move, either of you.

FX:

FOOTSTEPS, UNDER LAST, THEN DOOR OPENS

MRS.D:

Sorry to disturb you Connie, but I forgot my key again.

BROOKS:

Mrs. Davis! What are you doing home so early? Here - let me help you off with your coat and eyeglasses.

MRS.D:

Mr. Gordon showed me the most wonderful time, Connie. But he has a business appointment first thing in the morning, so we had to cut our date a bit short. Oh, uh...who's that in the living room?

BROOKS:

That's Mr. Boynton.

MRS. D:

Oh I see. And who's the man in the other chair?

BROOKS:

That's Mr. Boynton too - he's awfully restless tonight.

MRS. D:

Oh, now I see who that is, it's Mr. Barlow. But you told me he wasn't coming over tonight.

BROOKS:

He must have changed his mind. Listen Mrs. Davis - when two people have a beautiful friendship, they've got to do everything in their power to keep it from breaking up, right?

MRS. D:

Uh, let's talk later, dear. I've got to get these shoes off at once. Mr. Gordon just danced my tootsies into a stupor. He's a wonderful man, Connie. Uh, that's why I want you to do me a little favor.

BROOKS:

A favor?

MRS. D:

Yes, when you go back into the living room.

BROOKS:

What do you want me to do, Mrs. Davis?

MRS. D:

Brush off that other old creep, will ya?

BROOKS:

You mean Mr. Barlow?

MRS. D:

Yes, I haven't the heart to hurt his feelings.

BROOKS:

Well, it'll save a lot of explanations, I guess, but I know I'm going to get two birds with one stone.

MRS. D:

What do you mean, Connie?

BROOKS:

As soon as the old duck is gone, my little lovebird will take off like a wounded pelican.

MUSIC:

TRANSITION

ANNCR:

Eve Arden, Our Miss Brooks returns in a moment, but first...

ANNCR2:

The case of the close scrape, featuring John W. Baker, Justice of the Peace. Here's what Mr. Baker told us. Listen...

BAKER:

Here's exactly what happened. Shaving was just one close scrape after another for me. And then I discovered Palmolive Lather Shave Cream, and a new different way to shave. Palmolive's oceans of rich, thick lather, ended my worries about scrapes, burns and nicks. Why even in cold or hard water, that Palmolive lather way is super smooth - super comfortable.

ANNCR2:

Take John W. Baker's advice men. The new Palmolive lather way gets beards really soft. And it provides a protective film, that actually floats your razor's cutting edge. You get a clean, close shave, every time. Without worry about scraping, or nicking. Even in cold or hard water. John W. Baker, and twelve hundred other men tested Palmolive Lather Cream, following package directions, and three out of four reported smoother, more comfortable shaves, the Palmolive Shave Cream way. No matter how they shaved before. Better yet, Palmolive Lather Shave Cream. Remember, even in cold or hard water, the Palmolive Lather way means smoother, more comfortable shaves.

MUSIC:

THEME, THEN UNDER

ANNCR:

And once again, here is Our Miss Brooks.

BROOKS:

Well, I told Mr. Barlow that Mrs. Davis had returned home with a bad headache, and he left the house after threatening to call her up very soon. Then as I was about to barricade the door against Mr. Boynton's next move, he addressed me.

BOYNTON:

Well I'm sorry Mrs. Davis doesn't feel well Miss Brooks - is she lying down in her room?

BROOKS:

Yes she is Mr. Boynton.

BOYNTON:

Well that leaves just the two of us, doesn't it?

BROOKS:

Yes. But don't be nervous. It's much too early for you to think of leaving.

BOYNTON:

Oh I'm not thinking of leaving Miss Brooks. You and I still have plenty of unfinished business to attend to.

BROOKS:

Unfinished business?

BOYNTON:

Well certainly!

BROOKS:

You, and I?

BOYNTON:

That's right. [PAUSE] After all somebody's got to do those dinner dishes! Why don't you wash and I'll dry.

BROOKS:

Better still, you wash, AND dry. I've got another engagement.

BOYNTON:

Another engagement?

BROOKS: Sure! If I hurry I can catch Mr. Barlow before he gets on the bus.

MUSIC:

CLOSING THEME, THEN UNDER AND OUT

ANNCR:

This is Verne Smith reminding you to tune in next week for another Our Miss Brooks show, brought to you by Palmolive Shave Cream, for a smoother, more comfortable way to shave, and Colgate Dental Cream, to clean your breath while you clean your teeth, and help stop tooth decay.

ANNCR:

Our Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden is produced by Larry Burns, written by Al Lewis, with the music of Wilbur Hatch.

MUSIC:

CLOSING