Generic Radio Workshop Script Library (BACK)

Series: Superman
Show: The Trap, Chapter Five
Date: Dec 24 1948

CAST:
Narrator, a commanding voice
Clark Kent, Daily Planet reporter, alias Superman
Beany, Daily Planet copy boy with cracked voice
Miss Williams, Daily Planet employee (1 line only)
Augustus McCosh, Scottish engineer (1 line only)
Perry White, gruff Daily Planet editor
Lois Lane, intrepid Daily Planet reporter
Bruce Wayne, alias Batman
Announcer, of liberal public service announcements

NARRATOR:

Faster than a speeding bullet!

SOUND:

GUNSHOT, WITH RICOCHET

NARRATOR:

More powerful than a locomotive!

SOUND:

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS, LOCOMOTIVE RUMBLES

NARRATOR:

Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound!

SOUND:

LOUD RUSH OF AIR ... CONTINUES IN BG

NARRATOR:

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird!

VOICE:

It's a plane!

NARRATOR:

It's Superman!

SOUND:

RUSH OF AIR ... UP AND OUT

MUSIC:

SAMMY TIMBERG'S "SUPERMAN" THEME ... ORGAN ... THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

Yes, it's Superman, strange visitor from the planet Krypton who came to Earth with amazing physical powers far beyond those of mortal men. And who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, wages a never-ending battle for truth and justice.

MUSIC:

THEME FILLS A PAUSE ... THEN AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG UNTIL [X]

NARRATOR:

Today, Clark Kent, gaily humming "Jingle Bells," walks through the Daily Planet city room to editor Perry White's office ... [X]

SOUND:

FADE IN ... CITY ROOM WALLA ... KENT'S FOOTSTEPS, OUT AT [Y]

KENT:

(OVERLAPS WITH NARRATOR, FADES IN, SINGS QUIETLY TO HIMSELF) Jingle bells, jingle all the way, Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.

NARRATOR:

... unaware that the one man in the world who can identify him as Superman is waiting within!

KENT:

(SINGS) Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. (CALLS, CHEERFULLY) Hi, Beany!

BEANY:

Hi, Mister Kent! How do you like our Christmas tree?

KENT:

(WITH A CHUCKLE) Oh, it's swell, Beany, swell! (CALLS) Merry Christmas, Miss Williams!

MISS WILLIAMS (OFF) Merry Christmas, Mister Kent!

KENT:

(SINGS) Jingle bells, jingle bells. (TO HIMSELF) Well, here we are. [Y] I wonder what the Chief was so anxious to see me about.

SOUND:

OUT

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT, THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

Stopping before Perry White's door, Kent reaches for the doorknob. In a moment -- in a matter of seconds -- his great secret may be revealed! The zealously guarded secret of his double identity!

MUSIC:

TO A CLIMAX ... THEN OUT

ANNOUNCER (FUSSY, FRUITY) Take your seats, boys and girls. I'm about to give you a thrilling lecture on the ostrich. The ostrich is a bird which lives in Africa. It has a teeny little brain for its very large size so sometimes it behaves like a fool. As Lew Lehr would say, "Ostwiches is the cwaziest cweatures!" (LAUGHS AT OWN LITTLE JOKE) Well, listen to this. When a stranger comes near, the ostrich buries his head in the sand. He does this because he doesn't want anybody else around. And, if he can't actually see them, he figures they're not there. Now, isn't that about as dumb as a living creature can possibly be? Well, maybe not. I know one thing dumber than an ostrich. A human being who falls into the same silly habits. I mean the kind of silly human bird who buries his mind in prejudice. The sort who tells himself that he's better than everybody else, especially folks who don't happen to be of his particular race or religion. What he's doing, really, is sticking his head in the sand and pretending that nobody else in the world exists. Well, that's plain nonsense. Of course other people exist! Millions and millions of them, of every imaginable race and religion and background. People with many different talents, many different jobs to do. In fact, it's this wonderful variety that makes our country strong and healthy. And just because some foolish, conceited fellow refuses to look at them, doesn't mean they're not there. I wish some of these human birdbrains could see how comical they look, standing right out there in plain view and shutting their eyes to all the folks around them.

MUSIC:

SAMMY TIMBERG'S "SUPERMAN" THEME ... AN ACCENT, THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

And now "The Adventures of Superman"!

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

Convinced that Clark Kent, his mild-mannered reporter, is really Superman in disguise, editor Perry White, assisted by reporter Lois Lane, perfected an elaborate scheme to prove it!

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

By a clever ruse, White instigated a flight by Kent as Superman to an ocean liner at sea which was supposedly in great danger. There, the captain was alerted to report the Man of Steel's arrival, which would prove he was Kent! But Superman chose to make his brief appearance on the ship in street clothes and was mistaken for a passenger. For the moment, White was stymied.

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

However, the engineer of the ship had seen and spoken to Kent who had said his name was "Mister Clark." And, at this very moment, the engineer is in Perry White's office at the Daily Planet, waiting to identify Kent as the mysterious "Mister Clark"!

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN "JINGLE BELLS" IN BG

NARRATOR:

And Kent is about to walk into the trap! Summoned by White, he has just walked through the city room to his editor's office. But, as he starts to open the door, a strange yet somehow familiar voice in the office reaches his ears.

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG

MCCOSH:

(SCOTS ACCENT) I never fergit a face, Miss Lane! If this fellow--!

WHITE:

Quiet, please. Quiet, Mister McCosh! He'll be here any second!

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

Startled, his hand still on the door, Kent probes the thick panels with his X-ray vision and then gasps!

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG

KENT:

(TO HIMSELF) Wha--? It's the engineer of the Atlantic Queen! If he sees me, I'm a dead duck! I've got to get out of here! And fast!

MUSIC:

A BIG ACCENT ... THEN OUT

SOUND:

OFFICE DOOR OPENS ... CITY ROOM WALLA IN BG

WHITE:

Look! Look, Lois! Kent isn't in his office.

LANE:

No, he isn't! Well, that's funny, Chief.

WHITE:

I'll say it's funny. (CALLS) Uh, Beany? Beany Martin?

SOUND:

BEANY'S FOOTSTEPS

BEANY:

(APPROACHES) Comin' up, Chief. I mean, Mister White.

WHITE:

Now, listen, Beany. Did you--?

BEANY:

How do you like the way Miss Lane and I trimmed our Christmas tree?

LANE:

Oh, it's fine, Beany, but--

WHITE:

Never mind the Christmas tree. Did you see Clark Kent?

BEANY:

Mister Kent? Sure, he was here just a minute ago.

LANE:

He was?!

WHITE:

Well, where is he?

BEANY:

He went out.

WHITE:

Out where?

LANE:

Where?

BEANY:

I don't know. He wasn't feelin' so good all of a sudden.

LANE:

What?!

BEANY:

Listen, do you think we ought to put more blue lights on the--?

WHITE:

Will you forget the Christmas tree for a moment?! What do you mean Kent wasn't feeling so good "all of a sudden"?

BEANY:

He was okay when he came in the city room; he was hummin' and wishin' everybody a "Merry Christmas."

WHITE:

Yes, yes?

LANE:

Yes?

BEANY:

But just before he got to your office, Chief, he stopped and then he came hurryin' back, almost running.

WHITE:

Oh!

LANE:

Oh?

WHITE:

Uh oh.

BEANY:

I wanted him to help me put the star on top of the tree but he said he wasn't feelin' well. He was awful pale.

WHITE:

I know why he wasn't feeling well! He saw McCosh in my office!

BEANY:

Huh?

LANE:

Now, wait, Chief. You can't--!

WHITE:

What a chump I was! I forgot about his X-ray vision.

BEANY:

X-ray what?

WHITE:

Oh, oh, oh, never mind, Beany, never mind. You get back to your Christmas tree.

BEANY:

Okay. (MOVING OFF) I wonder how blue would look--

SOUND:

BEANY'S FOOTSTEPS AWAY

WHITE:

Now, listen, Lois, we've got to find Kent!

LANE:

Oh, fat chance.

WHITE:

We'll find him! We've got to! You get McCosh and--

LANE:

Chief, use your head. If Clark is Superman and saw McCosh in your office, he realized what was up. Why, he's probably in China by now.

WHITE:

No, he isn't. That would be a giveaway.

LANE:

What do you mean?

WHITE:

He can't leave town. He'd know that we know he's afraid to face McCosh. Which is practically admitting that he's Superman!

LANE:

Oh! I see what you mean.

WHITE:

He'll be around, waiting for McCosh to leave. Now, you tell Jim to stay here, in case Kent calls.

LANE:

Okay, Chief.

WHITE:

You get McCosh and meet me downstairs.

LANE:

Right.

WHITE:

I'll get my car. We're going out to find Mister Kent!

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

As White and Lois begin their pursuit of Clark Kent, the reporter has arrived at a handsome mansion facing the park where the famous Batman and his young companion Robin live between adventures as Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson. Wayne, otherwise known as Batman, is the one person to whom Superman has confessed his double identity!

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN OUT

KENT:

This is the worst jam I've ever been in, Bruce! I don't know what to do!

WAYNE:

Now, take it easy, Clark. May not be as bad as you think.

KENT:

What, are you kidding? If I'm exposed as Superman, my value to humanity will be cut in half! The underworld will be able to keep tabs on me, trick me, perhaps even find a way of taking my life.

WAYNE:

I know. Robin and I are up against the same danger.

KENT:

And yet you tell me I'm not on a spot!

WAYNE:

I said it may not be as bad as you think.

KENT:

(HOPELESS) Ohhh.

WAYNE:

You may only imagine that Perry White and the others suspect who you are.

KENT:

I tell you, I know they do, Bruce. At first, I was only suspicious; I thought I might be wrong but now I'm sure!

WAYNE:

Well, why? What happened?

KENT:

Well, yesterday morning, White showed me a sealed envelope addressed to Superman.

WAYNE:

To Superman?

KENT:

Yes, we sometimes get them at the Planet.

WAYNE:

Oh.

KENT:

White asked me if I had any idea how to contact Superman. Well, I stalled, of course, but meanwhile I read the letter inside the envelope with my X-ray vision.

WAYNE:

Yes?

KENT:

I'm certain now that he intended for me to do that; and that he even wrote the letter!

WAYNE:

What'd the letter say?

KENT:

That a time bomb had been planted in the engine room of the Atlantic Queen which was then at sea en route to Metropolis.

WAYNE:

Uh oh.

KENT:

Well, naturally, I ducked away from White and hopped out to the Atlantic Queen as Superman.

WAYNE:

Well, naturally.

KENT:

At the last moment, though, I got a little suspicious of that letter.

WAYNE:

Why?

KENT:

It-- Well, I don't know. It just didn't quite ring true. So I decided to appear on the ship in my street clothes. You know, as if I were one of the passengers.

WAYNE:

Well, that was cagey. What then?

KENT:

I went down to the engine room and dug the bomb out from behind a boiler. It was a phony.

WAYNE:

A phony?

KENT:

Sure. As phony as a three dollar bill.

WAYNE:

So White figured you'd read the letter, hop out to the ship as Superman, and then he'd have you cold!

KENT:

Sure!

WAYNE:

But you fooled him. You didn't appear on the ship as Superman. Oh, but wait a minute. You didn't run into anyone you knew there, did you?

KENT:

No. But I did run into the Chief Engineer.

WAYNE:

Well, so what?

KENT:

So, at this moment, he's sitting in Perry White's office at the Daily Planet.

WAYNE:

What?!

KENT:

Uh huh. Dollars to doughnuts, White got him there to identify me as the lad who showed up in the Atlantic Queen's engine room yesterday and removed the bomb.

WAYNE:

Holy smokes! This is bad, Clark.

KENT:

Oh, it couldn't be any worse. (SIGHS) I was thinking about putting a lot of mileage between me and Metropolis until Mister Engineer goes back to sea.

WAYNE:

No, no, no, no, you can't do that. If you run away now, you'd practically be admitting that you're Superman.

KENT:

That's why I didn't run. But what'll I do, Bruce? Perry White smells a terrific story and he won't let go until he's got it!

WAYNE:

Mm, I know. The only thing to do is make him think he's wrong.

KENT:

(IRONIC, SKEPTICAL) Oh, wonderful! How're we gonna do it?

WAYNE:

Mmmm, you've got to face that engineer -- and make him say you're not the man.

KENT:

But I am the man! So, how in Heaven's name--?

WAYNE:

Oh, let me think, let me think. There must be a way.

KENT:

Oh, I can't think of any. I told Beany I was sick just now when I ran out of the city room but I can't keep that dodge up long.

WAYNE:

That's it, Clark!

KENT:

That's what?

WAYNE:

I've got it! Wait till I get my make-up kit!

SOUND:

RUMMAGES AROUND FOR MAKE-UP KIT

KENT:

Your what?!

WAYNE:

My make-up kit! Oh, here it is. Now, how quickly can you get us back to your apartment?

KENT:

Well, in a few seconds, as Superman. But why--?

WAYNE:

Strip down to your costume, chum, and don't waste any time asking questions! Come on, hurry!

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

What is Batman's plan? We'll be back in a moment to find out in the tense climax of today's episode -- so keep listening!

MUSIC:

TO A CLIMAX ... THEN OUT

ANNOUNCER:

(FUSSY, FRUITY) Well, fellows and girls, tomorrow's the morning for waking up bright and early, for saying "Merry Christmas" to all your friends and family, for finding your stockings filled with candies and finding your Christmas tree shining with tinsel and gay ornaments. It's the time for getting presents from those you love and giving presents to those you love. Well, gang, have you ever stopped to think why we give Christmas presents? Why we call it "Merry Christmas"? Why all the tinsel and ornaments and holly and pretty Christmas cards? Well, it's because for nearly two thousand years Christmas has always been looked upon as a time for showing good will towards others. As the Bible says, Christmas is a day for glory, God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. So, you see, that spirit has always been in the minds and hearts of people on Christmas Day. Often, in the midst of wars, soldiers have stopped their fighting on Christmas Eve and even crotchety folks like old Mister Scrooge have suddenly felt a kindly twinge when the Christmas bells chimed out. But, do you know something? There's no reason why the spirit of goodwill towards others should be confined to one single day, December twenty-fifth. No reason why we shouldn't try to practice it the whole year 'round. Why, if everybody everywhere felt and practiced enough good will towards others all the time, maybe we'd have real, lasting peace on this Earth of ours.

MUSIC:

SAMMY TIMBERG'S "SUPERMAN" THEME ... AN ACCENT, THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

And now back to "The Adventures of Superman"!

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT, THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

In Clark Kent's apartment, Bruce Wayne, who is really Batman, is skillfully applying the contents of a theatrical make-up box to Kent's face.

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT, THEN OUT

WAYNE:

There! You're as pale as a ghost, Clark. Now, I'll just change the shape of your nose a little with this putty.

KENT:

Hey! Careful!

WAYNE:

Then I'll color it bright red.

KENT:

No. It - it won't work, Bruce.

WAYNE:

Mmm, you'd be surprised how different you look already.

KENT:

Hey, look out - my nose.

WAYNE:

I've had a lot of practice with this make-up.

KENT:

Yeah, but if you change me too much, Perry White'll catch on. Chief is no dope, you know.

WAYNE:

I'm not changing you too much. I'm just makin' you look like a guy with a terrific cold. Oh, by the way, er, can you make your voice good and hoarse?

KENT:

Huh? Oh. (PRETENDS HOARSENESS) Like this?

WAYNE:

Mm, that's not too good.

KENT:

(CLEARS THROAT, HOARSER) How's this?

WAYNE:

Mm, a little better. Remember to cough a lot when you speak. That'll help.

KENT:

(RESIGNED, NORMAL VOICE) Okay. (SIGHS) Oh, brother. I still think it'd be safer for me to go to China or someplace.

WAYNE:

You can't, Clark.

KENT:

Oh, I'm afraid of this gag!

WAYNE:

Oh, stop worrying. It's your only chance anyway. There! Your nose is done.

KENT:

Yeah. Feels awful.

WAYNE:

Oh, now, let's see. (PAUSES TO EXAMINE HIS WORK)

KENT:

Well?

WAYNE:

Uh uh. You still look too much like Kent.

KENT:

(GROANS) Ohhhh, then that's that!

WAYNE:

Oh, no, no, no, wait, I've got an idea. Er, take off those horn-rimmed glasses.

KENT:

Oh, no! I take them off when I'm Superman. If I take them off now, I will give myself away.

WAYNE:

Not with your eyes all bleary and running with tears.

KENT:

What do you mean?

WAYNE:

Go on! Take those cheaters off ... while I find the Eau d'Onion.

KENT:

The what?

WAYNE:

Uh, concentrated essence of that handy little vegetable known as the onion. Ah! Here it is!

KENT:

Oh. (REALIZES) Oh, but, Bruce. I don't know if I'm subject to onion fumes.

WAYNE:

Uh oh. I never thought of that. Well, we'll soon find out. I'll open this bottle and--

SOUND:

DOORBELL BUZZES

KENT:

(WHISPERS) Oh, no!

WAYNE:

(WHISPERS) Who is it?

KENT:

(WHISPERS) Perry White and the engineer of the Atlantic Queen!

WAYNE:

(WHISPERS) Don't answer it! We're not ready for them yet!

WHITE:

(OFF) Open the door, Kent! This is Perry White! I know you're in there!

KENT:

(WHISPERS) He says he knows I'm here!

WAYNE:

(WHISPERS) This is it, then. Hop into your bedroom and pile into bed, Clark. Here, here! Sprinkle this onion essence all over your pillow! And pray that it works on you!

KENT:

(WHISPERS) But, Bruce, I--

SOUND:

DOORBELL BUZZES

WHITE:

(OFF) Kent! Let me in! The superintendent said you're home!

KENT:

(WHISPERS, IN DESPAIR) Ohhhh!

WAYNE:

(CALLS) Coming! (WHISPERS) Get going, Clark! And remember, speak hoarsely like a frog!

KENT:

(WHISPERS) All right, all right, I'll try, Bruce, but something tells me my number's up!

SOUND:

DOORBELL BUZZES

WAYNE:

Maybe not. Just remember to talk hoarsely.

WHITE:

(OFF) Kent! Kent! I'll call the super!

WAYNE:

(CALLS) Coming, I said! (TO HIMSELF) Oh, boy! If only this works!

SOUND:

APARTMENT DOOR OPENS

WAYNE:

Come in, gentlemen. Come in.

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

Taking a deep breath, Bruce Wayne opens the door and Perry White walks in, followed by Augustus McCosh, the engineer of the Atlantic Queen. And, before Wayne can say a word, White heads for Kent's bedroom, motioning for the engineer to follow!

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

What will happen when Augustus McCosh faces Kent? Will he identify him as the mysterious "Mister Clark" ... and so reveal him as Superman?!

MUSIC:

AN ACCENT ... THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

Be sure to hear Monday's exciting episode, fellows and girls! Tune in, same time, same station for Chapter Six of "The Trap" on "The Adventures of Superman"!

MUSIC:

SAMMY TIMBERG'S "SUPERMAN" THEME ... THEN IN BG

NARRATOR:

Superman is a copyrighted feature appearing in Superman DC Comics magazines and is brought to you Monday through Friday at this same time.  

MUSIC:

THEME ... TO A FINISH